


All I Wanna Do

by LovingGwendolaj



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: All I Wanna Do Is Make Love to You, Angst, Braime - Freeform, Custody Battle, F/M, Flashbacks, Romance, Smut, Song fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-09
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:35:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 33
Words: 81,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25473220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LovingGwendolaj/pseuds/LovingGwendolaj
Summary: Braime Modern AU based on the song All I Wanna Do Is Make Love to You by Heart.Suddenly she couldn’t breathe and she had to reach out and put a hand on the wall to balance herself.  Flashbacks slammed into her like hard punches, threatening to bring her to her knees.  The last time she’d seen him his hair was longer - longer and wet.  He’d filled out some too and there was a hint of grey in his hair and facial stubble.  They’d both been so young back then. Young and foolish.She had only known him for one night.  A few hours really.  But those few hours with him changed her entire life.  She never in a million years expected to see him again.  She’d made it clear she didn’t want to - she couldn’t.  Still, she never forgot him.  Not for a second.  She still remembered the way he smelled, the way he tasted and the warmth of his touch.
Relationships: Jaime Lannister/Brienne of Tarth, Renly Baratheon/Loras Tyrell, Tyrion Lannister/Shae
Comments: 671
Kudos: 512





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Wanted to try something new and I heard the song All I Wanna do by Heart. I couldn’t get it out of my head and I had to write this. I ran it by a few readers and no one could think of anything extremely similar so I decided to give it a go. 
> 
> I would love to know your thoughts on the start. Thank you so much for reading.

“So what’s this boy’s name?” Brienne asked her daughter. Everyone said Honor was a spitting image of her mother - blonde hair, blue eyes, high cheekbones, tall for her age and slim. She certainly didn’t look anything like her father, or the rest of the Baratheons for that matter, who were all dark haired. 

“Tyler. Tyler Lannister,” she replied, with the hint of a smile that Brienne immediately interpreted as a crush. 

“Well, he can only stay for an hour and you keep your bedroom door open,” she warned. 

Honor rolled her eyes in the epic fashion of your average pre-teen. “Mom,” she moaned. “It’s not like that at all.” Brienne raised her eyebrows. “Tyler is gay. Some of the boys in class have been picking on him since he arrived so -“ She shrugged her shoulders. “I thought it would be nice to let him know he’s not alone and we’re not all assholes here.” 

“Language,” Brienne warned. 

“Sorry, we’re not all jerks,” Honor corrected herself with a tiny smile. 

Brienne leaned over and gave her sweet child a kiss on the head. “You’re a good girl,” she mumbled softly. Even with everything they had been through over the years Honor had turned into a loving and thoughtful girl and Brienne couldn’t have been more proud of her. She had always been good at making others feel welcome and this was no different. 

The boy she had invited over, Tyler, had only been in Honor’s class for 3 days. His family had just moved to town recently. Brienne assumed from the start it was a crush. She’d noticed the last few months that her baby girl was starting to pay more attention to boys. She’d even started shaving her legs and asked to get her eyebrows waxed a few weeks ago. But clearly that wasn’t the case with Tyler and Brienne couldn’t help but be happy about that. She wasn’t ready for her only child to start dating, though she knew it was coming sooner rather than later. 

Brienne heard a car pull into the driveway. “I think they’re here,” she said. Her daughter took off like a shot, running for the front door with those long legs and barefeet, her long blonde hair flying out behind her. 

From the kitchen she heard the door open and the kids chatting happily and then a man’s voice, that she assumed was Tyler’s father. She knew she should have went to the door and introduced herself, but it had been a long day at work and she just wasn’t in the mood to be a people person right then. That was until she noticed the container of cookies that Honor had made to give to Tyler’s family. “Hey kiddo, the cookies,” she called out. 

“Oh right,” she heard Honor say, as she came running back into the kitchen to grab the box. 

“Uncle Jaime, wait,” the boy called out. 

“Here you go,” Brienne said, handing her daughter the cookies. She slowly started to follow her towards the front door and as she passed the window she saw the back of the man who had dropped Tyler off - Uncle Jaime, as he’d called him. He was tall, with broad shoulders and dirty blonde hair. 

She watched her daughter race to catch up and the man stopped. He turned slightly and as soon as Brienne saw his profile her world started spinning. No, it can’t be, she thought, glancing out the window again. He had turned a little more and her heart started to race. He was looking down at Honor with the container of cookies in his hand. He was smiling at her - that smile - Brienne would never forget that smile as long as she lived. It was him. 

Suddenly she couldn’t breathe and she had to reach out and put a hand on the wall to balance herself. Flashbacks slammed into her like hard punches, threatening to bring her to her knees. The last time she’d seen him his hair was longer - longer and wet. He’d filled out some too and there was a hint of grey in his hair and facial stubble. They’d both been so young back then. Young and foolish. 

She had only known him for one night. A few hours really. But those few hours with him changed her entire life. She never in a million years expected to see him again. She’d made it clear she didn’t want to - she couldn’t. Still, she never forgot him. Not for a second. She still remembered the way he smelled, the way he tasted and the warmth of his touch. 

Brienne peeked out again, hoping he was gone so she could pull herself together, but he was still there, still talking to Honor. “Mom?” she called out. “Can you come here?” 

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. “Uh, yeah, I’ll be right there,” she called out. She looked around desperately, trying to think of a way to disguise herself that wouldn’t make her look like a complete freak. She was in a full panic, but it was no use. This meeting was going to happen and there was nothing short of running and hiding that would get her out of it. 

She took a deep breath and then a step. Her legs were shaking. Maybe he won’t even recognize me, she thought. The problem was, she didn’t look much different and there weren’t many women as tall as her. She wasn’t an average kind of woman that one easily forgets. But it was literally a few hours. A few sexy, delicious hours. Maybe he did that kind of thing all the time. Maybe - “Mom? Are you coming?” 

“Yep,” she replied. She closed her eyes again and took one more breath. Just get it over with. Brienne opened her eyes and walked towards the door. Tyler was standing on the step. “You must be Tyler,” she said, smiling at the handsome boy that actually had a lot of his Uncle’s features. “I’m Honor’s mom, Brienne,” she introduced herself. Yes, she was being polite, but she was also killing time, trying to gather herself together by having a normal conversation. Tyler politely shook her hand and said something that she didn’t hear because she could feel Jaime’s eyes on her. All these years and she never knew his name either. She never asked. She didn’t want to know - but now she did. Jaime. It suited him. 

Slowly she turned and their eyes met. Brienne thought she was going to pass out. It was clear he recognized her and it was affecting him just as badly as it was affecting her. He knew. He remembered. “Mom, Mr. Lannister was asking about good places to go for dinner - can you help?” Honor said, oblivious to what was going on with the two adults. 

“Yeah sweetie,” Brienne mumbled. “Uh, why don’t you and Tyler go ahead inside and we can chat.” 

As her daughter ran off Brienne stood frozen in place. He was only a few steps away but she couldn’t make herself close the gap. She watched his face and she could practically see what was going on inside his head. He was putting it all together and he turned white. There was so much going on behind those eyes, those beautiful eyes - the same eyes she looked into every night when she kissed her baby goodnight. She saw everything from confusion to anger, but she had no idea what to say to him. 

“Is it really you?” he whispered, blinking as if she might change when he opened his eyes again. “How?” he muttered. Brienne didn’t speak. She didn’t nod or acknowledge him at all. She was a statue. She was afraid if she moved she wouldn’t be able to stop herself from touching him, from cupping his face in her hands and feeling the prickle of his facial hair on her skin - just like she had all those years ago. She longed to feel his lips on hers. Did he want that too? She held his gaze, keeping herself from looking at that mouth and giving away her desires. 

“How old is she?” he whispered, moving closer. His voice was calm and it sounded exactly like she remembered. She wanted to hear him laugh. That low throaty chuckle that made her insides tingle with happiness. “How old is she?” he snapped, taking another step towards her when Brienne hesitated too long. 

“11,” she said softly, swallowing at the lump in her throat. “Almost 12.”

“12 years ago was the last time I saw you,” he said, his eyes dropping to scan her from head to toe. Brienne felt incredibly exposed as his eyes washed over her. She crossed her arms and hugged herself. “Not a single day has gone by that I haven’t thought about you,” he added when his eyes made it back to hers. Brienne gasped and choked back a sob as his words registered and sunk in. A single tear rolled down her cheek as he finally asked the words she knew were coming. “Is she mine?” 

All the air deflated from her lungs and she gasped, struggling to hold it all together and not break down completely. “Tell me,” he snapped. “Is she mine?” 

“I - I don’t know,” she stammered. 

“Yes you do,” he growled. “She has my eyes. You know.” 

“It’s possible,” Brienne whispered. “But I don’t know. I never -” 

“This is fucking insane,” he interrupted, starting to pace. 

“Please,” Brienne gasped, reaching for his arm. “Please - Jaime.” When she spoke his name he stopped moving and glared at her as if she’d just insulted him. He wrenched his arm away. 

“I’ll send Ty’s father to pick him up later,” he said coldly. “And you’ll be hearing from my lawyer.” 

“Please,” Brienne tried again. She had no idea what she was even begging for because she was too confused and stunned. How was this happening? How had he found her? How had their paths crossed after all this time? All these years. This was not the way she’d imagined it would happen in her dreams. All those nights she had dreamed of him. Even when she was still married to Renly her fantasies had starred another man. 

“We’ll start with a DNA test and when it confirms what we both know - I’ll be suing for custody.” With that he turned and walked away, got in his car and sped off, leaving her standing in the middle of her drive frozen in stunned silence.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so ridiculously excited about this story and so happy to share it with all of you. The reception you gave me on the first chapter was amazing and touching. I appreciate you all so much. 
> 
> I hope this one begins to answer some of the questions you had and for those who know the song it’s based on I hope you can feel the inspiration. 
> 
> And if you find you’re confused, bear with me. It will all become clear. 
> 
> 😘😘😘

Brienne didn’t even remember walking from the driveway, through the house and out to the hammock in the backyard, but the next thing she knew she was laying down in her favorite spot, thankful for the comfort that swaying in the gentle breeze provided. She couldn’t believe what had just happened. It all seemed like a dream - or a nightmare perhaps. She closed her eyes and opened them again, but she knew nothing would change - this was all real - too real. She closed her eyes again and this time she let her thoughts wander. She went back to where this all began, to a place she’d been a million times in her mind - to a place where she wished she could return and change the ending.   
  


**12 Years Earlier**

_ The rain was starting to come down harder so Brienne turned up the speed of her windshield wipers. This was the first time she’d travelled to the south of the city on her monthly excursions that began 5 months earlier. This would be her 6th attempt and while the whole thing was truly draining, extremely irresponsible, somewhat degrading and emotionally taxing - she would do it for however long it took to get what she wanted. Like every time before, she told herself this was the one. This was the time she would finally get lucky.  _

_ The place she had picked this month was still several miles away but she already felt the butterflies in her stomach. Part of her anxiety was the situation itself - what she was about to do - but part was also the fact that it was so out of character for her. What had started as a one time thing, completely impulsive, had become an obsessive, calculated plan. Never in a million years did she ever imagine she would become this kind of person, this kind of woman. Everytime she considered stopping she told herself she’d come this far - might as well keep going.  _

_ She came around the corner and way off in the distance she saw something on the edge of the road. She slowed her pace some, worried it might be a deer or some large animal that could run out in front of her. Brienne squinted through the pouring rain and as she got closer she realized it was a person. She slowed even more and she saw them turn around and stick out their thumb. It was a man - no umbrella, no coat - just standing by the side of the road getting soaked.  _

_ Brienne pulled up alongside of him and rolled down the passenger window. Yet again, she was being completely irresponsible. He could be a serial killer or rapist - oh the irony, she thought. But it surely wasn’t any different than the random men from bars she’d been with, so what could it hurt? She could give him a lift into the nearest town and at least he could find shelter from the rain. His posture seemed sad, perhaps a bit lonely even. “Did you need a ride?” she asked.  _

_ As soon as he leaned in towards the window and she saw his face she felt her cheeks flush. He smiled and her heart started to pound. One of the most handsome men she’d ever seen was about to get into her car filled with gratitude. “Thank you so much,” he gushed with a nod. She unlocked the door and he climbed in. “Your seat - I’m so sorry,” he said immediately.  _ _  
_ _  
_ _ “It’s fine,” Brienne assured him. “It’ll dry.” She glanced over and saw him run his hand through his soaking hair, pushing it back off his face and out of his eyes. She was momentarily stunned by his beauty until she forced her eyes back to the road and started to drive.  _ _  
_ _  
_ _ “I really appreciate this,” the man said. “I had a good run for a few days but it’s been a long time since anyone has stopped.”  _ _  
_ _  
_ _ “You’ve been hitchhiking a while?” she asked in surprise.  _ _  
_ _  
_ _ “I have,” he replied. “Started in Dallas a few weeks ago. Got some long hauls from a couple of truck drivers or I would probably still be back in New Mexico,” he explained with a chuckle.  _ _  
_ _  
_ _ “Texas, wow,” she muttered. “Where are you heading?”  _

_ “California. San Francisco.” He went on to explain that he had a friend working construction who said he could get him on the crew for a full year contract position making repairs on the Central Freeway if he could make it there before Thanksgiving. Brienne didn’t hesitate to inquire why he didn’t just fly out there. “No money and,” he shrugged. “I wanted to see some of the country that I missed out on flying over all the time.” Well now this is confusing, she thought, but thankfully he explained further. “My family has money. But I just wanted to try and make something of myself without my father’s help. I wanted to be my own man and remove any hold he’s got on me.”  _ _  
_ _  
_ _ “Wow, that’s very admirable,” Brienne commented truthfully.  _

_ “Even more so if you knew my father,” he replied with another little chuckle. “So what are you doing out on a night like this?” She could feel his eyes on her. Even in the dim lighting she knew he could tell she was dressed for something more than a drive.  _ _  
_ _  
_ _ A million excuses went through her mind, but when she spoke her words were truthful. They weren’t the whole truth of course, but they were bluntly honest. “I was actually headed to a bar to have a few drinks and then try to find myself a decent option for a one night stand at the hotel a few miles up the road.”  _ _  
_ _  
_ _ He laughed again, an easy, throaty laugh that made her feel comfortable and warm inside. “You are a straight shooter - impressive,” he said. There was a brief moment of silence and then he spoke again. “I could save you a step if you like - I don’t have any other plans tonight.”  _

_ There was an immediate buzzing feeling inside of her. What was happening? Had fate just thrown this man right into her lap? Well, into her car at least. She risked a glance in his direction. His jawline was that of a god and with the way his clothes were sticking to his body she was pretty sure the rest of him matched. Beyond his ridiculous good looks, there was something more. He was charming and interesting. He intrigued her from the second he sat down in the passenger’s seat. Brienne could have sworn she felt some sort of instant connection. She had never believed in love at first sight, but if it was real she was pretty sure she had a good idea of what it would feel like. You’re being ridiculous, she told herself. You’re only here because you’re deeply in love with another man. It was all so absurd and she was thankful no one could read her jumbled up mind.  _

_ “Are you serious?” she asked softly. It all seemed too easy. She didn’t have to walk into some sleazy bar alone and sit there ordering drinks until the right one came along. She had developed a system of picking a man who wasn’t too drunk that he couldn’t get it up, but drunk enough he would happily leave with her. Brienne knew she wasn’t the type of woman that most men were interested in. Her boobs were too small, her hair was too short, and she was intimidatingly tall for a man with any sort of insecurities. But here was this sexy god of a man sitting in her car offering up his services before she even had to make an effort.  _

_ “Yeah, of course - if you were serious,” he said. She could feel his eyes on her yet again and the pounding in her heart moved lower and started throbbing in her groin. “I mean, you were kind enough to give me a ride and it would be nice to have the company of a woman for a change.” Her head snapped in his direction. “That didn’t come out right,” he chuckled. “I just meant that pretty much everyone who has picked me up has been male. It’s been a long, lonely day today and I, uh, well, you are easy to talk to, so - ” His voice trailed off.  _

_ Brienne could see the motel sign indicating they had vacancy glowing in the darkness. She knew these kinds of places well now. If they had rooms left late at night on a weekend they would gladly rent them for an hour or two. She’d never stayed more than an hour. It was always quick and she was out of there. As they got closer it was time to make her decision. What’s it going to be? She asked herself. Do I take him up on his offer and sleep with this very sexy, very sober stranger? Or do I take him into town, drop him off somewhere and continue with the usual plan?  _

_ With the swirling of emotion and hormones inside her getting worse, she put on her blinker and pulled into the motel. She drove up to the front and stopped the car. Without hesitation she got out. Everything about this encounter was different. She had never booked the room before. Whatever random man she’d picked up went in and did it. Sometimes she paid if she worried it might become an issue, or sometimes she just let the guy pay.  _

_ And when she came back out with a key in her hand she had paid for the night, not just an hour. She figured this man could use a warm dry place to get some rest before he continued on his journey.  _

_ There was also something else that was very different - the way she was feeling. The same nervous butterflies and self loathing were there, but there was more. There was a tingle of excitement that she had never felt before. Usually it was all about getting it done and getting far away. There was also a surge of hormones - not just a little surge, but more of a tidal wave. She couldn’t deny that she was attracted to this man - this complete stranger. A couple of the men she’d been with were handsome, nothing like him, but good looking enough. This was more than just the fact this man was extremely good looking - there was something about him that felt ‘right’ even in such a ‘wrong’ type of situation.  _

_ Brienne handed him the key and then drove towards the room they had been assigned. “Probably not the kind of place you’re used to staying,” she commented as they pulled up.  _ _  
_ _  
_ _ “Maybe not in the past,” he agreed. “But lately, I’m happy to just have a roof over my head. A bed and a shower is a bonus.” He really didn’t seem at all like a rich, spoiled boy. He truly seemed appreciative of everything he was given. She really hoped he would get what he wanted out of life and this journey he was on.  _

_ She followed him and his backpack to the door and then inside. As soon as the door clicked shut she had to hold back a gasp and resist the urge to run. The fact that everything was so different was confusing and unnerving. Even the fact that she wanted it more desperately than usual was making her want to go right back out the door.  _

_ The man set down his backpack and then turned in her direction. Brienne met his eye and suddenly she couldn’t breath. His stare was intense and the air in the room felt thick and heavy. She absentmindedly smoothed her dress. It was short and showed a lot of her creamy white, bare legs - which she’d been told were her best feature.  _

_ This isn’t the same, her mind was screaming. The novelty was throwing her for a loop that she couldn’t seem to get a grip on. He smiled and the way her heart fluttered was unbelievable. Brienne smiled back at him and he started to move closer. When he stopped he was standing right in front of her she felt dizzy. He was looking up at her, but she had a feeling without the heels she was wearing she wasn’t much taller. She slipped them off to check out her theory. Sure enough they were pretty close, but she still had him by an inch or two. “You’re still taller,” he whispered as if he could read her mind after all.  _

_ She had barely got a smile on her face when he moved in and kissed her. Everything she had felt before, the desire, the attraction, the hormones - it all exploded when their lips touched and rippled through her body in a tantalizing wave of heat and passion - and it was all from just a kiss. His lips were warm and soft and his kiss was gentle. It wasn’t at all hesitant, just sweet and comfortable like every second they had spent together so far. The way her body reacted was insane and she could barely control herself from ripping off his clothes. It was a bizarre but wonderful contrast.  _

_ Brienne liked how he initiated things. It made her feel a little less like a vulture and more like he actually wanted it too. When his tongue touched hers she could taste a little mint on his breath and it made her hungry for more. He probed a little deeper and she felt her legs growing weak. She reached out a hand to steady herself and it landed in the middle of his chest. “Oh,” she gasped, pulling back quickly.  _

_ Under her palm his shirt was not only soaking wet, but freezing. She blinked and looked at him. “You should go take a shower and warm up, you’re frozen,” she said softly. His heart was pounding under her hand, the same steady, rapid thumping that she was feeling in her own chest.  _ _  
_ _  
_ _ “You sure that’s okay?” he asked, as if it was her show and he needed permission.  _ _  
_ _  
_ _ “Of course,” Brienne nodded. The second he was gone she sat down on the bed with a sigh to rest her shaky legs. What am I doing? She wondered. How many times had she asked herself that very question?  _

_ Enjoy it. What? Where did that voice come from? Brienne actually looked around the room even though she knew it was from inside her head. You’re here. It’s happening. So enjoy it.  _

_ No, that’s ridiculous. Just get it done and get out like you always do. She heard the shower start and glanced towards the bathroom door. Go on. Go in. Join him. Who is this crazy person in my head? She wondered. Go on. It’s okay.  _

_ Slowly she stood up and slipped out of her dress. Removing everything until she was standing there naked. This is insane. Go on. The battle raged on in her head, but her body was only listening to one member of the argument. Her feet led her to the door and she turned the handle.  _

_ Her legs took her inside and her hand drew back the shower curtain. He saw her. Their eyes met again. He smiled. She smiled. Then she stepped into the tub and -  _

“Mom? Mom? Hello?” Brienne opened her eyes and saw Honor calling her from the deck. “Hey, can you give Tyler a ride home?” 

She took a deep breath and carefully got out of the hammock. “Yup. Be right there,” she called out, trying to quickly shift her mind back to reality and freeze her replay of the past at one of the best moments of her entire life. 

  
  
  


__


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully by the end of this chapter those who are still confused have a little more clarity. Obviously this is still much more to explain but it will come in time 😊 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading 😘😘😘

“I’m going to have a long, hot bath,” Brienne announced with a sigh, when her and Honor walked back into the house. They had dropped Tyler off at a gorgeous home on the North side of town - one she had actually passed on selling because she really didn’t think it would move so quickly. She had wanted to ask the young man a few questions, but she was way too distracted so she had just listened to him and Honor chat the whole ride instead. There was no sign of Jaime at the house, but she didn’t expect there would be given that he was too “busy” to come back and pick up Tyler. 

Brienne locked herself in her bathroom and ran a nice, steaming hot bath. She stripped off her clothes and stepped in. As she sunk down into the water she let her thoughts start to wander back to where she’d been in the hammock - to a place in her mind where she could still feel the same sting of hot water on her body. 

_ He touched her waist and spun her around, pressing his body up against her back. The water was warm, hot even, yet his skin was still a little cold. He hugged her from behind, his hands splayed across her stomach, and she shared her body heat with the handsome stranger. Brienne felt his lips brush the back of her shoulder with a tender kiss and she sighed softly. She had never showered with a man before, never felt another’s skin slipping over hers in such a sensual way. It hadn’t really been something she’d desired or felt like she was missing out on until that very moment.  _

_ His lips moved higher and he brushed her short hair out of the way to kiss her neck, as his hands slipped up her body to cup her breasts. Brienne could feel his tongue on her skin and her body surged with desire. Her nipples were hard beneath his fingers as he teased her until she moaned loudly. Then he chuckled softly against her neck in that same calm, easy vibe he exuded.  _

_ She wondered if she should turn around and touch him or kiss him like he’d done to her, but before she could decide his touch moved from her breasts to her hips, and then slowly he eased one hand between her legs. “Oh,” she gasped as her knees grew instantly weak.  _

_ “Is this okay?” he whispered seductively into her ear as he gently rubbed her pussy.  _

_ “Mmm hmm,” she whimpered, unable to form proper words. He widened her stance by tapping the inside of her ankles lightly and then traced a single finger up and down her slit. Brienne could feel herself getting wetter and she wanted to beg him for more, but thankfully she didn’t have to. He spread her open and delved deeper as she moaned again.  _

_ This wasn’t at all what she’d planned - yet she couldn’t make herself stop him. She wanted to get off. No, she wanted him to get her off. Not a single time in any of her late night encounters had any of the men actually made her come. To be fair though, she hadn’t really given any of them the chance like she was this time around. These indecent meetings weren’t supposed to be about pleasure or desire because that was a betrayal that went far beyond her plan.  _

_ He curled his fingers up inside her pushing in as far as he could reach, before slipping them out again. After only three or four strokes Brienne was panting, leaning back against him and slowly moving her hips to take him deeper. When she felt him pressing into her ass and realized he was aroused she almost came right then. She wanted to see him, feel him, maybe even suck him too, but she couldn’t stop what was happening between her legs. She was too close and she desperately wanted the release.  _

_ When he moved his fingers to her clit she was done. It only took a couple light flicks and she felt her body jolt and then a warm, happy feeling filled her from head to toe, relaxing every part of her. He held her tenderly, her back still against his chest, and softly stroked her arm while she enjoyed the euphoria. Before she could turn around he whispered in her ear again, “Go dry off and lay on the bed - I’ll be right there.”  _

_ Brienne nodded, quite content to let him do whatever he wanted at that point. She couldn’t resist sneaking a peek as she left and had to bite back a moan at the sight of his thick, hard cock. It honestly wasn’t something she’d paid a lot of attention to before. It didn’t matter much to her how big the men were that she’d been with as long as she got what she wanted. But as she got out of the shower and toweled herself off she couldn’t stop thinking about what she’d just seen and how badly she wanted every inch of him. By the time she made it to the bed her cheeks were flushed and she was already starting to feel aroused again.  _

_ He was only a few minutes behind her and she smiled when she heard the bathroom door open. She was fully expecting him to climb on top of her and initiate the fucking, but that wasn’t what happened at all. Not yet anyway. He stopped at the foot of the bed and looked at her with the hint of a smile and that cock still standing tall. For some reason she didn’t feel at all self conscious. She wasn’t worried that her boobs were too small or her skin was too pale or any of the things she often noticed in the mirror. The look on his face, the way his eyes washed over her - it made her feel beautiful.  _

_ He put a knee on the bed and moved up her legs, grazing her skin with the tips of his fingers. Brienne opened her legs for him, but halfway up he stopped and she realized what his plan was. This wasn’t supposed to happen. She didn’t have time for this kind of thing. It’s too personal, too sensual. The second his breath hit her skin, followed by his lips - all those thoughts disappeared.  _

_ He explored her slowly and patiently, giving her the chance to really build herself up to that peak again. He teased her slowly, almost lazily as if they had all the time in the world, as if they were frozen in time, just the two of them. He pushed her higher and higher, to heights she didn’t know she could travel. And when his tongue started to draw slow circles around her clit - he pushed her right off that cliff and sent her free falling into a seemingly endless pool of bliss.  _

_ He stroked her body, so sensually, allowing a calming aura to wash over her. Who was this man? And how had she got so lucky? He knew exactly how long to give her before he finally raised up and settled between her legs then pushed inside her. He felt amazing, perfect, like nothing she’d ever known before. It was like that cliche that they were made for each other.  _

_ Before he started to move he bent his head and kissed her deeply. She could taste herself on his tongue and it made her head spin with waves of arousal. When he pulled back he looked down at her and smiled. “You’re beautiful,” he breathed and she knew he meant it. He was open and honest and in the brief time she’d known him she already felt certain he wouldn’t ever lie to her.  _

_ He made love to her properly, thoroughly, with no inhibitions and the utmost tenderness. He proved the truth of his words with the way he worshiped her body. Brienne was so lost in the moment she forgot all about why she was there in the first place and why what was happening was so wrong. She gave in to the passion of the moment and allowed herself to feel everything, both the physical and the emotional. When she came yet again, and he followed shortly after, Brienne knew she would never forget what they shared as long as she lived.  _

_ When it was over and she knew she should have been leaving they ordered pizza instead. They talked and laughed like they had known each other far longer than a couple of hours. She felt a sense of comfort like she’d never experienced before with a stranger, maybe even more than she had with some people she’d known all her life.  _

_ After the pizza was gone Brienne hesitated long enough that he reached for her again. He flipped her onto her stomach and took her from behind with the same tenderness, even though the pace was a little more wild and frantic. He didn’t make her feel like she was just a way for him to get off, but instead he made it clear he truly desired her.  _

_ Once again she had the opportunity to leave and she just couldn’t take it. The rest of the night was every bit as magical as the start. He did absolutely everything right. He touched her with respect and affection. He brought out the woman in her, so many times, so easily. He said things she didn’t even know she needed to hear. Brienne never wanted it to end, but when it finally did, when he was fast asleep with his head on the pillow and those beautiful eyes closed, everything hit her all at once.  _

_ Brienne ran to the bathroom with her clothes and quickly got dressed. It’s so late. Too late. I have to go. Memories of everything they had just shared were dancing in her mind. The feel of his touch, the way his cock filled her so perfectly, the way he tasted when their tongues met, the smell of the cheap motel soap on his skin. As she slipped back into the dress she was reminded of how the night should have gone - pick up a man at the bar, have sex with him, leave, make it home at a decent hour, shower, then climb into bed. Meaningless sex that only served one purpose - that was what was supposed to happen. She wasn’t supposed to feel something, let alone all the wonderful things she’d felt in the last few hours. This was a betrayal beyond anything she’d done this far and she had to make it right somehow. She didn’t want to hurt him, he didn’t deserve that, but she had to make it clear that no matter what was said with those looks and touches they had shared - this was the end.  _

_ She slipped out of the bathroom and walked over to the nightstand. She glanced over at him sleeping peacefully and resisted the urge to stroke his hair. Instead she picked up the pen and pad of motel paper and then went to the table and sat down to write him a note as tears trickled down her cheeks. When the letter was done she slowly walked back over and set it down. Just leave. She should have listened to that voice in her head but she couldn’t. She looked down at him and then leaned over and placed a soft kiss on his temple. Too intimate. Stop. The voices in her head were getting louder.  _

_ “You’re going to do great things in California,” she whispered softly, allowing herself to touch his hair gently before she finally turned and walked away.  _

_ Brienne slipped quietly out of the room and jumped into her car. She started it and drove quickly out of the parking lot, keeping her eyes off the rearview mirror. She couldn’t look back. He was nothing more than a moment in time - a tiny piece of her past that she must somehow forget. Her future was at home, hopefully fast asleep in the bed they shared. She reached into the side pocket of her purse and slipped her wedding ring back on her finger.  _

_ As she drove home with immeasurable guilt weighing her down she couldn’t help but wonder - what if tonight was the night? What if I finally got what I’ve been so desperate for after all these months? Would it be worth all the pain and heaviness pressing down on her conscience if things were finally falling into place? What if this one magical night had changed the course of her future? She placed a hand on her stomach and took a deep breath. “Please,” she whispered to the universe.  _

With a groan Brienne sank down into the tub, ducking her head underwater and fighting off the urge to scream. When she popped back up, she pushed her wet hair back and then stood up. That night had changed her life. The universe had given her what she asked for - the sweet, innocent child that was probably in her room down the hall talking to her friends on her phone. But it wasn’t all sunshine, roses and happy endings. If only she had known how those next 5 years of her life were going to go - she could have chosen a different path. Perhaps she could have made things right with the man who gave her the most precious gift she’d ever received. She’d always known Honor was his - if only she’d tried to find him before it was too late. 

Now here she was again - facing more heartbreak and tragedy. Haven’t I had enough of this? She wondered. Or is this my punishment for the mistakes I made in the past? She wasn’t sure she wanted to know the answer to that question. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


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	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Brienne needs a hug 😕

The next morning Brienne slept in and left for work 10 minutes late. On the drive she got a call from her boss Catelyn Stark. “Hey, are you close? I have a man here looking for short term rentals.” 

“I’m almost there,” Brienne replied. “Have him wait in the conference room and I’ll grab my file and meet him. 5 minutes tops.” She was already pulling into the parking lot of Stark Realtors when they hung up. 

She desperately needed a coffee, but instead she rushed into her office, threw down her things and grabbed a thin file folder from her drawer. There were only a few short term rentals right then, but some very good options. She walked briskly down the hall and right into the conference room. 

When she saw who was sitting there she froze, like a deer in the headlights wondering if she still had time to backpedal and run. “You’ve got to be kidding me,” he muttered, as the door clicked itself shut. Too late, she thought. Jaime Lannister pushed himself up from the table. “I guess I’ll try another agency instead,” he sneered. 

Just let him go. “No, wait,” she blurted out. Fuck me, why? Why can’t I just keep my damn mouth shut? “Please sit back down,” she pleaded, committing to her impulse. “This is the best agency in the entire city and I have some really incredible short term rentals. I can get you a different agent if you want, but this is my expertise.” 

He hadn’t moved at all but she wasn’t sure if she’d convinced him to stay. Finally he sighed and sunk back into the chair. “I’m here already I guess.”

“Thank you so much, you won’t regret this, I promise.” The skepticism was all over his face and it was crushing, reminding her that this really was a horrible idea. 

Brienne took a seat and opened the folder. She started looking through the papers for the one she wanted when he spoke again. “You know what? Before we do this there’s something I need to know.” 

She looked up. “Sure. Anything.” The guilt was making her far too agreeable, but as long as it wasn’t too invasive she owed it to him. 

“Honor.” When he said her daughter, no, their daughter’s name, it gave her chill bumps. “Why did you choose that name?” 

It certainly hadn’t been anything close to what she was expecting him to ask. And it was a very personal question. She got the sense he knew that though. He already suspected her answer had something to do with him. Brienne took a long, deep breath and reminded herself once again that she really did owe this to him. “I wanted a constant reminder of the person I strive to be and not the person I was,” she said softly. She had never admitted that to another person. Renly loved the name as soon as she suggested it and she’d never had to convince him. If anyone else asked she would mutter something about how it fit well with Renly’s profession and they both just loved the name. “Everytime I look at her I have two choices - I can look back and feel ashamed or I can look forward and make sure I set a good example for my beautiful daughter.” She could only hope her honesty would leave the right impression on him. “I chose it myself. Her dad didn’t pick it,” she added. 

His eyes flashed and she recognized her mistake with a gasp. “No, I sure didn’t,” Jaime said icily. 

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean, I, um,” she stammered. This entire exchange, in this room she was so familiar with, was extremely foreign. Brienne had worked very hard the past few years and she had turned into a confident, poised woman. She didn’t stammer. She didn’t second guess herself. Not since everything happened with Renly and she vowed to never let a man affect her that way again had she felt anything close to this. 

Jaime waved his hand dismissively. “Let’s just get on with this. I need a place to live.”

“Um, yes, okay,” she cleared her throat and continued sifting through the pile. “How long do you think you’ll need the rental?” 

“3-4 months, 5 max,” he replied. “My new place should be built by then.”

“Oh,” she said in surprise. “You’re building? Here?” 

“Yep, not far from your place actually. We’ll be neighbors.” His tone was not happy or friendly but more annoyed that he would be living so close to her. 

Brienne swallowed at the lump in her throat. She couldn’t cry. “Um, okay. I have a few that are available for the next 9 months. How many bedrooms would you need? Bathrooms? Are there any specific amenities you need? Pool? Garage? Big yard?” 

“Doesn’t really matter. It’s just me. I’d prefer a garage but I don’t need a pool or big yard. An apartment is fine even, doesn’t have to be a house. I just don’t want to spend months in a hotel,” he explained. 

“Hmm, we don’t have any apartments right now. There’s one side of a duplex or there’s this,” she slid him a piece of paper. “It’s a great deal. Newer home with a two car garage. Three bedrooms, two bath, rent isn’t bad at all. The only downfall that seems to scare everyone off is that it’s near a train crossing so it can be noisy.” 

He shrugged. “That won’t bother me at all.”

“Would you like to see it?” She asked. “I can take you there now. I don’t have any appointments until this afternoon.” 

Jaime slowly shook his head. “Is it honestly a nice place? Do you recommend it?” 

“Absolutely,” she said quickly. 

“Then I’ll take it,” he replied. “Let’s get the paperwork done ASAP. When can I move in?” 

Brienne narrowed her eyes. Never in all the time she’d been a realtor had she ever had a client rent a property without seeing it first. “You don’t want to have a look first? You’re just going to trust me? Why?” 

Even his smile was cold. Beautiful, but cold. “You are wracked with guilt and you’re walking on eggshells. You wouldn’t dare lie to me. If you say it’s a great place, I believe you.” 

Brienne chewed her lip for a moment and then resigned with annoyance that he had her pegged to a tee. “Fair assessment,” she muttered. “I’ll go get the forms.” 

She breezed out of the room and the moment she was in the hall, away from him, she finally felt like she could breathe again. Tears were threatening again but she forced them away. He was so gorgeous, even more beautiful than he’d been all those years ago. It was like he’d got sexier with age. His voice though, it was the same, yet so different. He wasn’t telling her she was beautiful anymore in that low, sexy whisper, his tone was edgy, angry even - and she knew she deserved it. 

She went to her office and quickly printed off the necessary paperwork. Rushing back lost in thought she ran smack into Catelyn and papers flew everywhere. “Oh God, I’m so sorry,” Brienne gasped. “I wasn’t looking where I was going.” She dropped to her knees and started to scramble, gathering up the mess. Her hands were shaking and she couldn’t control them. 

Catelyn squatted to help. “Hey, are you okay?” She asked, reaching out to touch her hand. 

Brienne forced a smile. “Yes, of course. I was just rushing and I haven’t had my morning coffee yet,” she lied. She wasn’t going to tell anyone how much Jaime was affecting her. 

“I thought maybe that hunk in the conference room had you all flustered,” Catelyn teased. 

Brienne laughed. Awkwardly and way too loud. Then blushed. Fuck. Now she had to go with it. “Well he is pretty handsome.” She gathered the last of the papers and took the rest from Catelyn and then stood. “I better get back,” she said, before taking off again, making sure to pay attention to where she was going this time. 

She somehow managed to gather herself together and get through all the paperwork with Jaime. “So I guess that’s all for now. I can have the place ready for you tomorrow by noon if that works for you?” He nodded. “So just drop by anytime after 12 and you can pick up the key.” 

He nodded again but didn’t speak or move to get up. The room felt suffocating again. The thoughts that were running through her mind were terrifying and unnerving. “What kind of phone do you have?” She asked suddenly. 

He looked at her curiously but answered. “An iPhone.” He pulled it out of his pocket to show her. 

“Oh good.” She grabbed her own phone and went to her photos. She quickly picked 7 of them and then found his phone to airdrop them. “I, um, I just thought maybe you’d want to see those,” she whispered. 

Brienne watched his face soften briefly when he saw what she had sent him. She had recently printed off a bunch of photos of Honor from the day she was born up to current and she had air dropped a selection of them. “I can’t say thank you,” Jaime said, looking up. “I should have been there for all of these.” 

“I know. I understand. I just thought maybe you would like to see them,” she whispered as her stomach knotted even more. 

“I should go,” he said abruptly, getting to his feet. 

Brienne was wringing her hands with anxiety. She needed to say something more. She needed to do something. “Jaime,” she got out. “Can we talk? Tonight? I want to tell you everything. You deserve the truth. The whole truth.” 

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” he said curtly. “I’m meeting my lawyer tomorrow.” 

“Please?” She begged, unable to hold back the tears she’d been fighting off for too long. “There’s a little pub on Shanny Street. It’s called McCool’s. I’ll be there at 7pm. If you come I’ll tell you the whole story. I’ll answer any questions you have. I won’t hold anything back. I promise.” 

He shook his head a bit, but didn’t really answer. She swiped at a tear as he walked towards the door. “Jaime please,” she called after him. “Please don’t take her from me. I’m begging you. She’s all I’ve got.” 

He stopped and slowly turned around. “Take her from you? You think I’m trying to get full custody?” The tears started coming harder as his words hit her. “I just want the chance to get to know my daughter. I would never, NEVER, take her away because I know exactly how that feels.” Her stomach rolled and she fought back the nausea. “And that’s just not the kind of person I am,” he added. 

Brienne couldn’t say another word. She just watched him leave the room with the stinging truth of his words burning her deeply. I have to make him understand, she thought. If only he understood why, maybe he’ll forgive me. She knew in her head that was highly unlikely. There was no excuse that could make up for everything he’d missed out on. She had to try though. So she prayed he would show up that night and at least give her a chance.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little more angst here but I think you guys might like the chapter that’s coming up next ☺️ I truly hope that this chapter helps clear up things even more for anyone still unsure about Brienne’s motive and Jaime’s anger. 
> 
> The next will be from Jaime’s POV 😊

By 7:15 Brienne was convinced he wasn’t going to show, but she waited another 55 minutes just in case. Assuming he’d still been living in California the time zone would be an hour behind, so she stayed until 8:10, ignoring the logical side of her brain that was reminding her that cell phones adjust the time automatically anyway. 

She tossed a few bills down to cover the soda she’d drank and a tip for the server, then grabbed her purse and headed out feeling defeated. Brienne looked down to dig her keys out of her purse as she walked, when something caught her eye. Parked right beside her was the same shiny dark red sports car that had been in her drive the day before. And leaning against it was the same handsome man who could take her breath away with one look. 

“You’re here?” she mumbled, moving closer. “I - uh, I didn’t think you were coming.” 

“Been here an hour,” he replied. “I tried to come in a few times, but I just couldn’t make myself walk in there.” 

Brienne studied his face. His jaw was clenched in anger and her stomach twisted in response. “I, um, I don’t understand. Don’t you want an explanation?” 

He slowly started to shake his head. “Yes - and no.” Jaime rubbed the stubble on his cheeks in thought. “I’m angry,” he admitted, stating the obvious. “I want to know, but I don’t want to give you the chance to play the victim or to make me feel sorry for you.” 

“You think that’s what this is?” Brienne snapped. Her reaction was quick and tempered. “I don’t want your pity and I sure as hell won’t be playing the victim. All I want to tell you is the truth. I fucked up. I did something selfish, reckless and stupid. Yeah, I had my reasons and I convinced myself I was doing the right thing - but I wasn’t the victim. You were. Renly was. Honor was. I know that - I’ve known it for a long time.” 

“Get in,” he said. 

“What?” 

“Get in. I’m driving this time.” Jaime motioned towards his vehicle and hit the door unlock buttons on the remote in his hand. She gave him a look, but walked around and got into the car. He backed out and they sped away in silence. She didn’t ask any questions or speak a single word until he stopped the car at a lookout point up the mountain and got out. 

Brienne followed and stopped beside him. “I love it here,” she whispered. It was one of her favorite places. How could he have known that? The city stretched out below them in a sea of sparkling lights. When he didn’t reply she spoke again. “Jaime?” She felt tingles when she said his name, but she tried to ignore them. 

“Just start talking before I change my mind.” She tried to convince herself that his tone had softened some, but she knew it hadn’t. 

“Um, yeah, okay,” she mumbled. “I, uh, well - I don’t know where to start,” Brienne added, laughing nervously. “I’ve never told anyone the truth. I, um, wow - this is - okay,” she took a deep breath and tried to compose herself. “Well, here we go,” she said, already wringing her hands with worry. “Um, actually can we sit first?” Brienne asked, motioning towards a nearby bench. 

Jaime shrugged and they walked over and sat down. Her legs were already shaky and she knew it was only going to get worse. Her mind was so jumbled. She’d already planned what she was going to say so many times, but the words just wouldn’t come out. She knew he was going to lose patience if she didn’t start talking soon, so she blurted out some words. “I wanted a baby.” Well that wasn’t the best way to start, but she went with it. “Renly and I had been married for over three years and we were trying to get pregnant. But as the months wore on and it wasn’t happening we were both feeling defeated.” She glanced over to gauge Jaime’s reaction, but he looked pretty stone faced so far. 

“Things started to get really tense between us and I got scared. I was feeling like a failure, like it was my fault - all the fighting, the arguments - “ She sighed softly. It wasn’t easy talking about that time in her marriage, but the sad part was - it wasn’t even the worst. “I suggested we try a fertility clinic but Renly refused. He said if it was meant to be it would happen.” Brienne was pretty sure Jaime rolled his eyes slightly, but she wasn’t sure what it meant. “I had to know if it was me, so I went to a doctor without him. I had tests done and they couldn’t find anything wrong with me - which meant -” 

“It had to be him,” Jaime finished. 

Brienne nodded. She knew he could already see where things were going. He was smart and intuitive. But that meant she could see the hurt building inside him already. She pushed on. “Things continued to get worse. I was scared he was going to ask for a divorce and I was convinced a baby would fix everything.” 

“You cheated on your husband with random men trying to get knocked up?” He looked disgusted, but she wasn’t surprised. It was a horrible, disgusting thing she’d done and she’d seen the same look on her own face in the mirror many times. 

“I did,” she confirmed. “I’m not trying to make excuses for what I did, I know it was wrong, but I was desperate and it made me crazy. I loved him - at least I thought I did - no, I did, at that time I still loved him. He was my first everything. He was kind and brave and I was infatuated for years. When we finally ended up together I thought my life was perfect. I thought I had everything I ever wanted.” 

“Life rarely works out the way we want,” he said bitterly. 

“You got that right,” she muttered in agreement. “So anyway,” she continued. “I made this plan to get pregnant. When the time came in my cycle that I should be the most fertile, I would tell him I was going out for a girl’s night. I went to a different city or town each time and found a bar where I would hang out until the right guy came along.” 

“Just out hunting your prey, huh?” He seethed. She gave a little shrug and nod. What else could she say? It was the truth. “And then I came along and played right into your hands didn’t I?” 

Brienne felt the tears coming. She tried to hold them back and was successful for the time being. “I told you I was looking for a one night stand. You knew that,” she said meekly. 

“You’re right. I did. But what I didn’t know was that you were using me as a fucking sperm donor,” he growled. “What number was I?”

“What number?” She repeated. 

“Yeah, in your long list of attempts - what number was I?” Her heart was pounding and a single tear escaped, quickly followed by several more. The pain and hurt in his eyes was absolute torture. The only thing that made it a little better was that she knew she deserved it for what she’d done. “How many men did you have to fuck before I came along and gave you what you wanted?” 

“5,” she whispered. “You were the sixth.” She ducked her head and bit back a sob. 

“Lucky number 6,” he spat bitterly. “And that’s all I was to you? Nameless number 6? That night meant nothing?”

She lifted her shoulders and snapped her eyes back to his face, already shaking her head emphatically. “No, no, that’s not true at all,” she insisted. Her thoughts were running wild again and she struggled to reign them back in. “That night with you - ” her voice shook. Her hands were shaking. Every part of her quivered. “That was the best night of my life,” she finished. The look of surprise in his eyes was brief, just a flicker, but she didn’t miss it and it gave her the courage she needed to go on. “I had never stayed before, never more than 30, 40 minutes tops. I would get in, get it done and be gone. I never even took all my clothes off or kissed any of them. You - you were different. Everything about that night was different. You have no idea how many times I’ve replayed it in my mind.” Brienne closed her eyes and somehow a smile found her lips. “You told me I was beautiful and treated me like you actually meant it. I had never experienced that before.” 

“With the other men?” He asked. This time his voice really was softer and she felt her heart swell in her chest. 

“Not just them. Renly too. He loved me, I know that, but - it didn’t feel like it did with you, especially after. Once I knew how good it could be, how special - it I’m completely honest with myself - it was never the same with him again.” The things she was telling Jaime, the things she was admitting - some of them she hadn’t even admitted to herself. “Jaime, you have to believe me - that night - you, the way you made me feel - those are things I would, no - will, never forget.” 

“You didn’t try to find me. Why? Why didn’t you try to find me?” His voice broke at the end and it made her heart ache with sadness. “You knew where I would be for over a year - and that year turned into 29 months. I was on the same job, the job you knew I was working for 29 months. You could have found me - if you just tried.” 

“I should have. I absolutely should have,” she admitted. “But once I found out I was pregnant things got better. Renly was so happy, I was happy, our marriage was saved just like I knew it would be. I didn’t know for sure it was yours while I was pregnant. There was no way to be sure. It wasn’t until she was born that I knew.” From the very first glance at her baby girl she knew, even though she denied it and told herself she was crazy. She had convinced herself that Honor was Renly’s and vowed never to doubt it. But she did doubt it, so many times and when that doubt crept in she thought about him - her handsome stranger who had given her the most precious gift. “But by then I was a new mom. I was a deliriously happy new mom with a loving and supportive husband. I know you think I’m a horrible, selfish person, and I don’t blame you one bit - but I couldn’t risk losing my family.” 

Jaime was silent, his face back to expressionless once again. She wanted him to say something. His outbursts of anger were easier to take than these moments of silence when she had no idea what he was thinking. She felt like she deserved the wrath and ire, she wanted him to scream at her and tell her she was awful because even after everything she’d been through she still believed she needed to be punished more for her actions. 

“I did come to California,” she said softly. Once again she caught that glimmer of surprise that gave her hope. As much as she wanted the punishment, what she wanted even more was forgiveness. She didn’t expect she would ever get that from him, but those little flashes of something other than rage made her feel like there was at least a slim chance. “When Honor was 5. I knew it was too late to find you then. I knew it was a total long shot. I didn’t even know your name or what company you worked for. But I went out there and I drove that highway you helped build and - I know this going to sound insane, but I felt like I was close to you.” The tears came back and she sniffed. “While we were driving and Honor was asleep I told you she was yours, spoke the words out loud into the universe.” Brienne laughed. “You must really think I’m a complete nutcase.” Silence. “Jaime, please. Talk to me. Tell me what you’re thinking,” she begged. 

“I think it’s getting late and I should take you back to your car,” he replied in a robotic voice, devoid of expression. He was in shock. He needed time to process everything and she understood that. She had told him everything she needed to at that point. There was more she could have told him about her life with Renly and the heartbreak and pain her and Honor had been through but it was for another conversion - if there ever was one. 

Brienne nodded and they walked back to the car. She glanced out over the city once more before they drove away and she let the view she loved so much give her a short burst of comfort. It didn’t do much to help the awkward silence of the ride back though. 

“I guess I’ll see you tomorrow,” Brienne mumbled as he pulled into the parking spot beside her vehicle once again. She couldn’t get out of his car fast enough. 

As Brienne hurried towards her own car Jaime jumped out and caught her hand. His touch sent electricity coursing through her entire body, tingles, buzzing, sparks. She turned back to face him, looking into his incredible eyes. “I would have told you that you’re beautiful. Every single day,” he said gently. The honesty was evident in his expression. “I wish to God I could tell you that right now,” he added. Her heart felt like it was going to beat out of her chest and her eyes welled with tears of joy, but that all came crashing down when he finished his sentence. “But I can’t, because right now - when I look at you - all I can see is the person who stole my chance to watch my daughter grow up.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys enjoy a little Jaime POV :)

**Jaime**

“Hey, once everyone is asleep can you meet me in the kitchen? I need one of our talks.” There was only one person in the world that Jaime wanted to talk to when he was confused or upset. He trusted his brother Tyrion like no one else. He was wise and always straightforward - exactly what Jaime needed. 

“Of course. You okay?” The concern in Tyrion’s voice was evident. 

“Yes - no - I’m not sure,” Jaime sighed. “I just know I need to get some things off my chest - and maybe a shot or two of your best whiskey.” 

“Absolutely. I’ll see you soon.” Jaime hung up the phone, already feeling a little better just knowing he would be discussing his latest issues with his brother soon. He’d been staying with Tyrion, Shae and the kids for the past few days since he’d arrived in town, just until he could find his own place. He knew they were happy to have him, but Jaime felt like he was intruding and needed his own space. Thankfully he would get his short term rental the next morning and he could make himself comfortable until his permanent home was built. 

He’d never expected to put down roots in Colorado, but when his young architect company had landed a massive contract with a Ski Resort conglomerate that had plans for several new resorts over the next 5 to 7 years he decided it would be easier to live and work nearby instead of having to fly in from California all the time. Jaime had put Tyrion fully in charge of the business end of his company so he could really focus on his design work for a change, with someone else taking care of all the other crap. 

With the latest bombshell dropped in his lap Jaime couldn’t help but wonder if somehow him ending up in Colorado - in the very same city as his long lost child - was fate? He pulled into Tyrion’s drive and shook his head. It still hadn’t sunk in that he was actually a father. There was this beautiful, sweet girl out there all this time and she was biologically his. The rage bubbled up again. She was practically a teenager and without the help of this twist of fate he may never have known. 

Jaime slammed his hand against the steering wheel. He’d already missed so much and he didn’t want to miss another second. But he was just so confused - and that’s why he desperately needed Tyrion to help him sort it all out. 

He was only alone in the kitchen for a few minutes before Tyrion appeared with a bottle of whiskey in his hand. Jaime watched as his little brother gathered up a couple shot glasses from a low cupboard and then set them on the table while he climbed up onto a chair at the kitchen table. The first thing they’d done when Tyrion bought the home was go through the entire place and make the necessary modifications to accommodate Tyrion’s dwarfism. 

Tyrion poured two shots and passed one to Jaime. “Cheers,” he said, before they clinked the little glasses and downed the alcohol. “So, what’s going on?” he asked after they both slammed the shot tumblers down on the table. 

Jaime didn’t even hesitate because he had to get it out. “I have a daughter.” 

Tyrion laughed, but when Jaime didn’t join him the smile faded away. “You’re serious?” 

“I am. Her name is Honor,” he replied. 

“Honor. As in Honor from Ty’s class? The one he’s been spending every second with?” Tyrion looked dumbfounded. “How? When? Are you sure? I don’t get it.” 

“Do you remember that woman I told you about when I was on my way out to California -” Jaime started. “The one that picked me up when I was hitchhiking in the rain?” 

Tyrion’s eyes widened. “No way,” he breathed. “Of course I remember - you stayed in that hotel for 3 nights and went to every bar in the city hoping she would come back. She did a number on you.” It was the truth. After that night, when he woke up the next morning and she was gone - he ignored her request in the note she left to not bother trying to find her - he spent almost 4 days - wasted 4 days - hoping to see her again. He was almost late getting to the job in California because he couldn’t bear to leave without seeing her one more time. She got to him. One damn night that haunted him for years. 

“Well it seems she’s still doing a number on me,” Jaime grumbled. 

“Have you talked to her? I mean obviously you have and she told you about Honor, but what else did she say?” Tyrion asked, pouring them another shot. Jaime filled him in on all the details of the conversations he’d had with Brienne in the past 24 hours or so. “Wow,” Tyrion breathed when he was done. 

“How could she do this? What kind of person does something like that?” Jaime seethed, grabbing the bottle of whiskey to take an angry swig. “I’ve missed my little girl’s entire life. I would have been there. I would have been an amazing father. I would have loved her -”

“Jaime,” Tyrion said softly. “You’re right - you would have been all those things, but what if you knew? What if you found out all of this when you were working on that highway? Where would you be right now? You certainly wouldn’t have stayed out there. You wouldn’t have made the connections you did. You wouldn’t have finished your architecture degree. You wouldn’t have your own successful business.” 

“You don’t know that,” he hissed, even though in his heart he knew Tyrion was probably right. He wouldn’t have been able to support a family, his child, while trying to save up money to go back to school. He would have been forced to find a job - or maybe even rely on his father again - the one thing he was trying to get away from. “Fuck,” he growled. “I’m just so angry right now. She used me. She could have tried to find me but she didn’t want to because she got what she needed.” 

“Did you really expect a pregnant married woman to come searching for the man she had a fling with? At the time, she wouldn’t have even known for sure that Honor was yours. And even after she was born - it would have been speculation unless she actually did a DNA test.” Tyrion was speaking gently but the words were still irking him. 

“She could have come after,” he muttered, through clenched teeth. 

“With a newborn? Trust me, it’s a feat to make it to the grocery store and back some days with a baby. You couldn’t really think she would travel all the way to the coast.” It was making Jaime even more angry that Tyrion was making sense. 

“Whose side are you on?” He snarled. 

“Yours. Always yours. You know that,” Tyrion replied calmly. “Okay, so if she hadn’t hurt you like she did - what would you think of her? Does she seem like a good person? A good parent?” 

“I don’t know,” Jaime muttered, hanging his head. It wasn’t that he didn’t know - he just didn’t want to answer the question. “I barely know her,” he added. 

“Well I’ve met that daughter of yours and she’s probably the sweetest, most genuine and thoughtful child I’ve ever met. She took Tyler under her wing and stood by him when no one else would give him a chance. She’s brave and she’s got a huge heart. I know biologically she gets some of that from you, but it also comes from her mother and from the way she was raised.” Jaime let out a long sigh, but there was also a tiny smile on his lips hearing such wonderful praise for his daughter. Was it too soon to be proud? He wondered. Was it too soon to love someone he didn’t even know? Or were those things that just came with being a parent? 

After a moment to consider his response he went back to the one thing that he couldn’t seem to let go. “I just can’t wrap my head around how Brienne could do what she did. If she’s really a good person how could she manipulate people like that? It wasn’t just me, there were other men too and what about her husband? Ex husband, whatever. How could she even face him?”

“People do really crazy, out of character things when they’re feeling desperate,” Tyrion replied. “Believe me - I’ve been there.” Jaime gave him a knowing nod. Several years ago his little brother had married a prostitute he’d only known for a month. Fortunately, things had worked out very well for the two of them. “You said that Brienne told you she was trying to save her marriage. You said she owned up to everything. You said she’s guilt ridden.” Jaime nodded. “So does that really add up to her being a cold and manipulative psycho? Or maybe just a woman who was willing to try anything to keep the man she desperately loved - even if it meant potentially hurting others along the way?” 

“What are you defending her?” Jaime whispered, trying not to feel betrayed because he knew in his heart that Tyrion was 100% on his side. 

“You know I only want what’s best for you. I know you’re hurt and angry and I understand that, you have every right to be, but you can’t change what happened. The only thing you have control of is what happens from here on. I would like to think you’re dealing with a rational, fair person as opposed to a crazy lady,” he said with a little chuckle. “So how are you going to proceed? What’s next?” Tyrion asked. 

“I told her I’m going to meet with a lawyer,” Jaime admitted with a shrug. 

“Is that really what you want?” Tyrion interrupted. “I mean, I know that at some point things will need to be sorted out legally. But is that how you want to start a relationship with your daughter? I mean, I assume you want to be in her life?” 

“Of course I do,” Jaime said ademenly. “That’s all I want.” 

Tyrion reached over and touched his hand. “She’s going to be upset. She’s practically a teenager - you look at them the wrong way and it sets them off. This is life altering. I really don’t think throwing legal action at her is the first impression you want to make.” 

“So what do I do?” Jaime closed his eyes. His head was starting to pound. It was all so confusing. 

“Would Brienne be willing to tell Honor the truth about you?” Tyrion asked. 

“I don’t fucking know,” Jaime moaned. 

“I think from what you’ve told me, that Brienne wants to make amends for what she’s done. Maybe it’s in your best interest to let her?” He finished his sentence in the form of a question to give Jaime something to think about. 

Jaime drummed his fingers on the table one at a time, more aggressively with each pass. “I don’t want to give her the chance to make me soft,” he said quietly. “I don’t want to forgive her just like that. I want to be angry. I deserve to be angry.” 

“I know,” Tyrion nodded. “But there’s something more you’re not saying, isn’t there?” 

Jaime lifted his head. How the hell could Tyrion always read him so well? He took a deep breath. “Every fucking time I look at her part of me wants to strangle her and the other part of me wants to shove her up against the wall and kiss her like I’ve never kissed anyone before.” He sighed. “How can I hate someone and feel this attracted to them at the same time?” 

**Brienne**

The next morning as Honor was leaving for the bus she made a request. “Mom, I’d like to visit dad again soon.” Brienne’s tummy flip flopped immediately. She always dreaded it when Honor wanted to see her dad. 

But she also knew it was something that her daughter needed and deserved and she had to set her own feelings aside. “Sure sweetie. How about Friday? I can pick you up from school and we’ll head down there.” 

“That’s perfect. Thank you mom.” Honor gave her a quick kiss on the cheek and then raced out the front door to wait for the bus. 

Brienne slowly drank the rest of her lukewarm coffee and finished getting ready for work. She was procrastinating, but she really had to get going to meet Jaime with the keys to his new place. Her stomach was already all in knots with worry. She took a deep breath and headed for the car, reminding herself the whole way what a strong and independent woman she was. “You got this,” she whispered, trying her best to be brave as she backed out of the drive and headed off to start her day.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope that each chapter helps to explain the past a little at a time. And I hope you enjoy this one :)

As Brienne got out of her car and walked up towards the front of the rental home she tried to tell herself that the low cut top she’d put on that morning and the dress pants that fit a little tighter than most had nothing to do with the man she was meeting for probably 30 seconds to hand over a set of keys. Maybe a few minutes longer if he had any questions. 

Even if she had dressed a little sexy just for him, what did it matter? He was livid with her, and rightly so. It’s not like he was attracted to her or anything, even if for just a split second a wonderful fraction of time, he had made her feel like that might be the case. The fact of the matter though, was that he was about to become part of her life - a big part of her life - and they would need to find a way to co-exist and most importantly, co-parent a child. 

She was really nervous as she stood waiting for Jaime to arrive. She could still hear the last words he’d said to her and still feel the sting of how they’d parted ways the night before. Brienne had bared her heart and soul to him and was completely open and honest. She’d hoped that counted for something in his books, but she honestly had no idea because the truth was - she really didn’t know him at all. 

That made her even more anxious about the co-parenting situation. At least he’d made it clear that he had no intention of trying for full custody. And she really believed in her heart that he was a good man. It was obvious he was very hurt about missing out on Honor’s life so far and Brienne also took comfort in that. Wasn’t it better that Honor had a biological father who seemed to desperately want to be her dad? He certainly wasn’t some low life that didn’t want anything to do with the responsibility of raising a child, or an asshole that was trying to run away from child support. 

Thunder rumbled off in the distance and she wished he would get there soon. Storms often blew in quickly and she could already tell this was going to be a strong one. Brienne busied herself plucking at some weeds in the garden by the front door as the wind picked up and tossed her hair around. She could feel the breeze through the thin silk of her shirt, but thankfully it wasn’t cold. 

The first couple drops of rain started to fall when she saw his car turn onto the street and creep towards the house. Brienne took the key and unlocked the door. The rain was coming, she could hear it, and she knew from experience that it was going to beat him there. The downpour struck just as he stepped out of his vehicle. She watched him look up at the sky as if to say, really? And then he took off running in her direction. 

Brienne quickly swung the door open and he flew past her, right inside. She was only a little wet on one arm, mostly covered by the overhang. As she stepped into the house a crack of thunder boomed loudly and she saw a huge flash of lightning out of the corner of her eye. 

“Oh the irony,” Jaime muttered, as she closed the door and turned to face him. She eyed the wet shirt that was sticking to his muscled chest, with memories of what it felt like to run her hands over that body running through her mind. Brienne knew her cheeks were already flushed as she raised her eyes to meet his. The effect he had on her was bittersweet. The tingles, the pounding in her chest, the shortness of breath - there were two very opposite things that could cause those same symptoms - attraction and anxiety. 

“The storms come up so fast sometimes,” she said softly. The rain was pelting the windows and another rumble of thunder backed up her story. Brienne quickly looked away, trying to break the spell so she could focus. “Uh, I guess you’ll be needing these,” she said, reaching a hand out with the keys. When he took them from her their hands brushed and she was sure he hesitated for a moment. You’re being insane, she told herself. “So if you have any questions at all I can answer them, if not I guess I’ll leave you to it.” 

“No questions about the house yet,” he replied. “But there was something else I wanted to talk to you about.” 

As if right on cue there was a huge boom perfectly in time with the thump of her heart. “Oh, okay,” she mumbled, already worried about what he might have to say. 

Jaime sighed and pushed his damp hair back off his forehead. Once again, that simple action took her back to the night they met and a warm feeling started to burn in her belly. “I decided not to meet with a lawyer quite yet,” he started. The relief she felt was instant and it hit her hard. She tried not to let it show, but she knew it was obvious by the way he was eying her. “I’m going to give you a week to tell her about me,” Jaime added. “If you agree to do that, maybe we can work things out together and do this in a civilized manner. It’s what’s best for Honor.” 

Brienne was already nodding. “Okay. Thank you. I’ll tell her - I promise.” Don’t make promises you can’t keep, a voice in her head warned. From the second Jaime arrived she’d known she would have to have a very difficult conversation with her child and no matter how many times she’d thought about it so far - she honestly had no idea how to tell her, how to begin, what to say - it made her want to throw up even thinking about it. “Uh, can I ask what made you change your mind?” She was genuinely curious. 

He licked his lips and swallowed. “Some whiskey and a long chat with my brother,” he said finally. Not what she was expecting to hear, but interesting nonetheless. For the first time since they’d stepped inside the house she felt his eyes on her, really on her and that burning sensation inside her strengthened. 

But something else came with it - a rising lump in her throat and the threat of tears. She had to find a way to control these feelings. They would only lead to more pain and she’d had enough of that already to last a lifetime. Focus on Honor, she told herself. Brienne pulled herself together and let her maternal instinct take over. “Listen, I know I have no right to make any demands of you, but the truth is - I don’t know you. If I tell Honor the truth and she has questions - I don’t even know anything about you to answer her. Eventually you’re going to want to spend time with her and - I - I don’t know you -” She let her voice trail off, hoping he would understand. 

Jaime nodded. “I get it and I would never expect you to just let me take her right away - even if I legally have that right. We’ll figure it out. Honor can decide how she would feel most comfortable and we’ll make that happen.” 

He was being far more agreeable than she’d expected, which was just another thing to back up her theory that he was a really good guy. But she didn’t miss the fact that he’d pointed out his legal rights too - which was fair. “Do you think maybe we could meet and have a chat?” Brienne asked quickly, before she lost the nerve. “It would be nice to know a little more about you before I tell her.” 

He shrugged his shoulders slightly. “Yeah. Sure. Why not. How about Friday?” 

Brienne cringed. “I’m sorry. I can’t do Friday. I already promised to take Honor somewhere after school.” That ‘somewhere’ made her skin crawl. “What about tomorrow? Or Saturday?” 

“Saturday works,” Jaime agreed. “Gives me a chance to get things organized. How about you meet me here for 6?” 

“Here? Oh, okay, sure,” Brienne stammered. She didn’t know why she’d expected they would meet somewhere for coffee or at a park or some other neutral location. “Saturday at 6,” she confirmed with a firm nod. Brienne glanced at the window as small chunks of hail started to tap against it. “Well, um, I guess I should get going,” she said, already dreading the run to her car in the drive. 

Jaime also glanced over at the window and his face softened. “I can’t send you out in that,” he said, as a bolt of lightning zig zagged across the sky. “Why don’t we just chat for a few minutes until the storm blows over? I’m sure you have some questions already.” 

The calm in his voice was a bit eerie, but mostly because she wasn’t expecting it. She had come in anticipating he would be cold with an angry edge to his voice so it threw her off that he seemed so normal and levelheaded. Maybe part of it was that her guilt made her believe that she deserved the anger and frustration so the fact he wasn’t expressing it only added to her guilt. 

They walked to the table and sat down. He was right, she did have a lot of questions for him, but the one that flew out of her mouth was an emotional reaction, not one she’d carefully thought out. “Why aren’t you mad at me still?” 

She saw his jaw clench and felt immediate relief. He was definitely still angry. Jaime closed his eyes and she could practically see him calming himself down inside his mind. His reserve and ability to control his emotions far better than she could was admirable. “I’m still mad,” he finally confirmed. “Last night I was so angry I could barely see straight. I wanted to scream and punch the wall and rage like a lunatic - but what’s the point?” Her eyes widened as something occurred to her. “I would just end up hurting my hand and it wouldn’t change anything.” It sounded just like something her daughter might say. Her calm, level headed, empathetic little girl. “I did a lot of thinking while I wasn’t getting much sleep last night. I honestly don’t know if - or when - I’ll ever get over being angry at you,” he admitted, causing her heart to sink. “But you’re the mother of my child and I know I’m not going to get anywhere with her if she thinks I hate her mom.” 

“You never know,” Brienne muttered. “She might hate me too when I tell her the truth.” She looked at Jaime. “It’s okay. Go ahead and look smug about that. I deserve it.” 

“Maybe you do,” he agreed. “And maybe I should take some satisfaction in the pain this is going to cause you. Most people would. But I can’t, because that’s just not the kind of guy I want to be.” 

Other than the storm still raging outside there was silence. How could he be such a good person? It was genuine too, she could tell. She wasn’t naive - she was certain she would know if she was being manipulated. “Why are you here?” she finally said. “Here in Colorado?” 

“Work,” he replied. “I’m an architect. My company secured a deal with a company that builds Ski lodges and it’s long term. At least 7 years, which could turn into more - hopefully.” 

“An architect? Wow. And you already have a successful business too?” Brienne was shocked that he could manage all of that in less than a decade. 

Jaime nodded. “I was already a few years into my degree before I went out to California to work,” he explained. “Made some connections. Got into a great program. Finished my undergrad and got my masters. Took the ARE and started my own business.” She couldn’t help but smile. She knew back then that he had the drive and determination to do great things, she just had no idea how big his dreams would be. “I got lucky with my first job, made some more connections and things took off from there.” 

“That’s incredible,” she said honestly. She wanted to tell him she was proud of him, but she didn’t feel like she’d earned the right to say something like that. Brienne chewed her lip for a moment, wondering how exactly to phrase her next question so it didn’t come off the wrong way. “And do you have a family?” she asked gently. “Wife? Any other kids? Does Honor have siblings?” She added the last part to hopefully make it sound like it was all about that and nothing to do with her curiosity about his love life that she had no business prying into. 

“No siblings. Cousins though. I have a brother, Tyrion - Ty’s dad, he works for me that’s why he moved here too. I also have a sister, twin sister - Cercei. She has three kids, but they live in Texas. She’s much closer to my dad than Tyrion or me.” He didn’t answer the rest of her question at first. He studied her for a moment and she felt the weight of his stare making it hard for her to breathe again. There was so much going on behind those eyes that she was desperate to know. “No wife or girlfriend. I’ve always been too busy with work to do the dating thing,” he finally said. Once again she was flooded with relief. Stop it, she told herself, still unable to hold back the corners of her mouth from turning up. “What about you?” 

Shit. She should have known she’d opened that can of worms. Brienne shook her head. “I haven’t been with anyone since I broke up with - “ She almost said Honor’s father, but caught herself in time. “Renly. I got my real estate licence, we ended up moving, it’s just been busy I guess.” 

“What happened? Why did you get divorced?” Jaime asked, looking at her with curiosity. Fuck. Even after all these years she was deeply embarrassed by what had happened. It took her a long time to realize that it wasn’t her fault and that Renly’s sexuality wasn’t a reflection on her. “You don’t have to answer that if you don’t want to,” he said, after she paused for a while. 

“No, it’s fine,” she said, shaking her head. Brienne closed her eyes a moment, then opened them and continued. “Remember I told you that I felt like I was losing Renly and I thought it was because we were so desperate to have a baby? And how it got better for a while after I got pregnant?” He nodded slowly. “Well I was wrong. And it got worse again. Much worse.” She twisted her hands together. “Renly fell in love with someone else - a man - named Loras. He was having an affair even before we married and I was completely clueless. He was sweet and kind - he did love me - just not in the way a man is supposed to love his wife. He was in denial about his sexuality and he thought that getting married to a woman he cared about would change him - maybe not change him, but at least allow him to hide it from his friends and the cops he worked with. Even in these changing times being a gay police officer isn’t easy.” She hated that she was making excuses for Renly after how deeply he’d hurt her, but maybe she was more empathetic than she realized. “Eventually he came clean and told me everything. Shattered my entire world,” she added, fighting back the tears. 

It had been a long time since she’d thought about all the pain, anger and embarrassment she’d gone through. It all came flooding back and she fought hard to keep her emotions in check. “I’m so sorry,” Jaime said gently. “That must have been really hard for everyone.” 

Brienne glanced over and saw that the rain had stopped and the sun was out again. She was losing the battle with her tears and she needed to get away from him before she fell apart. “Oh look, the storm is over,” she said, jumping to her feet. “If you need anything call the office. I’ll see you Saturday.” 

She turned and walked quickly towards the door but he was hot on her heels. “Drive safe,” he said, as they approached the door. 

Brienne went to reach for the handle at the same time as him and as her hand closed over the knob his hand closed over hers. “Oh,” she gasped, turned her head slightly to look back over her shoulder. His face was right there. His lips. Those soft, tender lips. She still knew exactly how it felt to kiss those lips - she would never forget as long as she lived. Brienne held her breath, but a slight whimper escaped her and she trembled. She could feel the heat from his body that was right behind her, and the weight of his hand still closed over hers. “I have to go,” she whispered without moving her lips away from his or her hand off the door. 

“I know,” he replied, his eyes searching hers like he wanted to kiss her. Kiss me, please, she begged him back. “See you Saturday,” he added, finally releasing her hand to back away. 

The spell was broken and she raced out without looking back. I must have been wrong, she decided. I’m such an idiot. The tears were already coming as she backed out of the drive. They were for Renly, for Honor and for Jaime - the man who somehow had a hold on her that she just couldn’t explain.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This should explain a little more, but I suspect there might be more questions too 😂😂 Hope you enjoy!

“Brienne, come in, shut the door, and take a seat,” Catelyn Stark said, looking concerned. Brienne knew this moment was coming after all the things she’d fucked up the past two, no, more like three, days. She wandered into her boss’ office, gently shut the door behind her and sat on the other side of the desk. “What on earth is going on with you?” she said gently. “You’ve never been late for a single showing since I hired you, what’s it now? Like 5 years ago?” 

“Six,” Brienne replied sheepishly. 

“This isn’t like you at all. Mistakes on paperwork, snapping at your co-workers. I’m confident there’s more to it, so please - talk to me,” Cat requested. 

She closed her eyes and sighed. How much did she want to share? Brienne tried to decide if she wanted to just make something up or come clean right then. People were going to find out soon enough - but she knew she needed to tell Honor before word got out. “I have some things going on - personal things,” she started. When she looked at Catelyn staring at her with those deep, empathetic eyes it all just spilled out. “Renly isn’t Honor’s father. Another man is. And he’s just appeared in our lives out of the blue.” 

The shocked look appeared, as expected. “Oh wow,” she breathed. “I’m so sorry - I think? Is this bad news? Is he trying to take her?” 

“No, nothing like that,” Brienne said quickly. She was thankful that Jaime had already expressed that he wasn’t out to get full custody so that was one less worry on her mind. “I think - I’m pretty sure he’s a good guy - but, I don’t really know him - it was, uh, a one time thing.” She felt her cheeks flush. There was no way she was telling her boss the whole story and risking the look of disapproval, maybe even disgust, on her face. The fact Catelyn was already assuming she cheated on Renly was enough. 

“Does Honor know the truth?” Cat asked softly. Brienne was surprised at her kindness and understanding - even though she probably shouldn’t have been. Catelyn Stark was fiercely loyal and protective and Brienne knew that both her and Honor were considered part of the family by that point. 

Brienne shook her head. “No, not yet. That’s all I can think about. Well, that and the fact that she wants to visit her fa - uh, Renly - which we’re doing today.” 

“God, my sweet girl, you must be in agony,” she replied. Brienne always loved how she called her ‘girl’ even though they were barely 10 years apart in age. “Do you want to take some time off? Just until things calm down?” 

“No, please. I’ll do better. I’ll focus on my work and no more mistakes. I know I’ve been cranky too, but I haven’t been sleeping well. I’ll work on that and I’ll quit taking it out on others,” she pleaded. She got the sense it was more a suggestion than an offer and she really didn’t want to give up her daily routine. “Please Cat, I need to work right now.” 

“Of course,” she nodded. “But if you need time all you have to do is ask, okay?” Cat reached across the desk and took her hands. “If you need anything at all - I’m here for you, you know that right?” 

Brienne managed a smile. There was something so maternal about Catelyn that she really gravitated towards after growing up without a mother of her own. “I appreciate it,” she got out. 

Catelyn let go of her hands and settled back in her seat. “I was really hoping that handsome man who was in for the short term rental the other day might have -” Her voice trailed off and Brienne knew it was because her face probably just went completely white. “Wait a minute - that’s him? That man is Honor’s father?” Brienne slowly nodded her head. “Wow,” she breathed. “No wonder you were so shook up when he was here.” 

“We’re meeting tomorrow night to talk,” Brienne admitted. She didn’t miss Cat’s little smirk. “It’s not like that,” she said quickly. “He hates me.” 

“He wasn’t looking at you like he hated you when he was here,” she commented. 

Brienne narrowed her eyes. “How would you even know that?” 

Cat looked a bit guilty. “I was walking by the security monitor and I may have taken a little peek at the room you were in. I’m so sorry, it was just a quick look. It’s been a long time since a man that handsome has been in this building - other than my husband of course,” she added with a little laugh. Brienne knew Cat and Ned were madly in love. It was almost disgusting sometimes. “You were filling out the paperwork and he was staring at you with this really intense gaze, but it wasn’t anger - it was as if, well - it looked like he wanted to kiss you.” 

“That’s ridiculous,” Brienne scoffed. “You were probably just seeing what you wanted to see,” she accused. The past few months Cat had taken an interest in her love life and even tried to play matchmaker a couple of times. 

“We’ll see I guess,” she replied, looking quite confident and smug. “There’s a special bond between people who share a child. When he meets Honor and realizes what an amazing child she is, what an amazing job you’ve done raising her - there’s no way he can stay mad at you.” 

Brienne disagreed, but she couldn’t express that without going into more details of what she’d done all those years ago. “Yeah, we’ll see,” she agreed skeptically. Cat’s phone rang and Brienne excused herself to head back to her desk and direct all her focus to her work. The afternoon flew by and before she knew it, it was time to go pick up Honor from school. 

Normally it was the best part of her day when she got to leave the office and go get her baby girl from school. If she was picking her up it meant they had plans together or that Honor was going to her snowboarding lessons - which normally made Brienne happy and excited. But knowing where they were going had her stomach in knots and she was absolutely dreading it. 

She put on a brave face and was smiling brightly when Honor climbed into the car. “Hey honey,” she said, leaning over to kiss her temple. 

“Hey mom. How was work today?” Honor replied as they pulled away from the school and headed off towards the interstate. It was close to an hour drive so they had lots of time to talk. 

“Nothing too exciting,” she said with a shrug. 

“Hey,” Honor said with an accusatory tone. “Ty told me today that you helped his Uncle Jaime find a place to stay. Why didn’t you say anything?” 

Brienne’s heart thumped and her stomach twisted even more as the guilt intensified her anxiety. Ty’s Uncle Jaime was what Honor referred to him as - if she only knew the truth. She gripped the steering wheel a little tighter as she quickly tried to think of how to respond to that. “Oh I’m sorry,” she sighed. “It’s been so busy lately and I’ve been so tired I guess it just slipped my mind. How was school?” She asked, trying to change the subject. 

Thankfully Honor took the bait and went off on a tangent about a girl named Ella that she couldn’t stand and a group of boys that wouldn’t leave Tyler alone. “Hey,” Brienne interrupted. “I know this is something you’re really passionate about and I’m so proud of you for standing by Tyler - but be smart and be safe, okay? You don’t need to do this alone. Talk to your teachers and make sure Ty is telling his parents what’s going on.” 

Honor nodded. “I know mom.” Brienne glanced over and smiled as her energetic offspring started talking again. She often wondered where the kid got in a breath in her long string of sentences. She’d convinced herself that Honor’s gift for gab came from Renly, but now she wondered if perhaps it was something she had in common with her biological father. 

As she drove and pretended to listen to Honor’s babbling she thought back to that night with Jaime and how chatty he’d been - in those few moments when they stopped pleasuring each other enough to talk. Since he’d appeared in her life again he’d been doing a lot more listening than talking, but it was understandable given the situation. She had an aching pang inside her, wishing desperately for a moment where he could just be himself - a calm, easy chat where there was no animosity or anger between them. Maybe someday, she thought with a sigh. But she knew it was a long way off. 

“Mom? Are you okay?” Honor asked. 

Brienne blinked and glanced over at her. “Huh? Yeah, why?” 

“Well you just let out a really loud sigh when I was talking about acing my math test, soooo?” Honor narrowed her eyes. “You weren’t even listening to me, were you?” 

Brienne put on her blinker and turned right. “Hey look, we’re here,” she said, not so subtly deflecting. Her heart was pounding as she maneuvered along the drive and finally stopped. 

“Are you coming?” Honor asked, opening the door. 

“I don’t think so,” Brienne replied softly, her eyes pleading for understanding. 

“It’s okay,” Honor nodded. “Thank you for bringing me. I know you don’t like being here.” Before Brienne had a chance to reply Honor got out of the car and walked to the large black tombstone they had parked beside. 

Brienne had read it a million times. In loving memory - Renly Baratheon 1979-2018 - Killed in the line of duty. There was an etching of his police badge below the words and an American flag in the top corner. Everything flooded back and she fought off tears. Every time they came to the gravesite all she could think about was the pain, the tears, the absolute agony of holding a 9 year old child while they watched her father’s casket be lowered into the ground. 

There were days she hated Renly - absolutely loathed him for what he’d done to their happy little family. But when she was sitting by his grave she felt guilty for every ounce of her anger. No matter what he’d done, or what kind of man he was - he didn’t deserve to die. 

Well, at least you don’t have to tell him the truth about Jaime, she thought, immediately recoiling, disgusted with herself for even thinking something like that. She had to tell Honor though, and that was punishment enough. Brienne was convinced that everything bad that had happened in her life was karma kicking her in the ass for her poor choice all those years ago. 

She watched as Honor picked at the beautiful flowers beside the grave, removing dead leaves. Brienne knew that Honor liked to talk to her dad when she visited the grave, which was another reason she usually chose to stay in the car. It hurt too much to listen to those conversations and she felt they should be private anyway. 

After about 20 minutes Honor returned to the car. It was clear she’d been crying and Brienne wished so much she could take away that pain. “Mom?” she said softly. 

“Yeah baby?” 

“Was he a good man? My dad? He was a good person, right?” She sniffed. 

Brienne leaned over, tears stinging her own eyes, and rested her chin on the top of her daughter’s head. “Yeah sweetie your father was a great man.” As a tear trailed down her cheek she changed that in her head - your father is a wonderful man and I can’t wait for you to meet him. The thought shocked her, but she realized it came from a place of vulnerable truth inside her. She didn’t need to spend any more time with Jaime to know for sure that he was a good person - she just felt it. Wanting to get to know him was purely selfish, but something she knew was expected given their situation. She felt a flutter in her chest thinking about the following evening, but it was quickly tainted by the tight grip of fear and worry. She had no idea how it was going to go, but she knew it was necessary - for both of them.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a bit all over the place, but I wanted it to mimic Jaime’s emotions so I hope I was able to achieve that. Thank you all so much for reading!

Jaime took one last walk through the new rental and made sure everything was perfect. No matter how he currently felt about Brienne, it was important to him that the mother of his child could look around and feel confident that her daughter would be safe and comfortable when she came to visit him. 

He didn’t want to get too far ahead of himself, but one way or the other, there was a good chance that Honor would be spending some time at his short term rental - then eventually at his new home when it was built - their new home actually. He’d already decided that he wanted her to be a part of helping him design the house. Maybe he was getting too far ahead, but he couldn’t help it. The news had changed his entire life and his perspective. He had more than just himself to think about now, and he took that responsibility seriously. 

He checked his watch - it was only 525, so he flopped down on the comfortable leather couch and closed his eyes for a moment. He hadn’t been sleeping well because he couldn’t shut his mind off. There was a constant battle going on inside his head where one side was telling him he was right to be angry with Brienne and he needed to hold on to that feeling of complete and utter betrayal, while on the other side a little voice keep jumping in reminding him of how he’d felt about this woman for such a long time after that night they shared - and then he couldn’t help but wonder what the future would hold if he did forgive her and put the past in the past. 

The problem was - the past was what shaped their future and while Tyrion had pointed out that he may have never become the successful business owner he was, perhaps all that would have happened anyway, and he wouldn’t have missed out on so much time with his child. Who could really say either way? 

Jaime was tired, but he was also excited about Brienne’s visit. He tried to downplay it, but the little buzz he was feeling inside was only caused by one thing. It was the same buzz he’d felt in that hotel room and there was no other human being on the planet that had made him feel it. No one before her and no one since. 

With his eyes closed and his guard down from exhaustion he let his mind wander to a place he hadn’t allowed himself to go for many, many years. When he got in that car, when they started chatting while she drove - he never expected the night to end up the way it had. When she told him she was looking for a one night stand he couldn’t resist offering himself up. Maybe it was the loneliness of the journey he was on, maybe he was just horny, or maybe it was some divine intervention, but it was a choice he’d spent a lot of time regretting deeply, yet he knew he would never have changed it, even if he could. 

When she’d stepped into that shower with him, looking both confident and scared at the same time, he could tell this random hookup thing wasn’t really her style. He didn’t know why she was doing it, and never in a million years would he have guessed the real reason, but he instantly felt the need to make it more than just a quick fuck in a roadside motel. It wasn’t difficult though, because she made him feel things right from the very first touch. 

She had somehow warmed him, not just his skin, but his heart too. She made him burn from the inside out. His first taste of her, the very first lick of her sweet pussy made him crave her, not just a little hint of desire, but a full, burning, aching, magnetic pull that he couldn’t fight. He had all of her and it wasn’t enough - he wanted more. He would fuck her and was as if his cock was already getting hard again before he was even fully limp after he came. 

It was more than just sex. There was an ease and comfort between them that shouldn’t have been there with two people who were complete strangers. He felt like he already knew exactly what to do to please her and the way she responded made him believe it was true. 

Jaime couldn’t help but wonder if it would still be that way now? After all these years could he still pleasure her like he did that night? Would her pussy be just as wet? Could he make her come over and over again? Would her body writhe beneath him? Would she cry out those strangled moans from deep in her throat? 

He stretched his legs and felt his groin tighten. He knew he really needed to stop going down this path, but he was too far gone. A mental image of her legs wrapped around his neck and he was past the point of no return. 

Jaime got up and quickly raced upstairs to the bathroom. His initial plan was to take a fast cold shower to get himself in check but when he looked down at his massive erection and thought about how good it had felt to spread her legs and fill her up - he knew it wasn’t going away until he took care of things. 

He turned on a little more warm water and then stepped into the shower. He soaped himself up, wrapped a hand around his shaft and found a nice rhythm. It had been a long time since he’d been with a woman so he was getting quite accustomed to masturbstion being the only way he was getting off lately. 

Fuck you’re an idiot, he thought, realizing he was going to have to go downstairs and have a conversation with the same woman he was picturing nude while he jacked off furiously. That didn’t stop him from finishing up of course, as he gave one last good tug and finally came. 

Jaime quickly washed up and turned off the shower. He stepped out and started to towel off when he heard the doorbell. “Motherfucker,” he hissed under his breath. Of course she would be punctual, he thought with a scowl as he scrambled to get his pants on, skipping the underwear for lack of time. He grabbed his t-shirt and gave his still slightly swollen cock the best tuck he could manage and ran downstairs. “I’m coming,” he called out, trying not to smile at the irony of his words. 

Jaime pulled open the door, shirtless and barefoot. “Oh,” Brienne said in surprise, looking him up and down. He prayed she wouldn’t notice the slight bulge that would soon be gone. “Am I early?” She looked confused as she checked her watch. 

“No, no, come in,” he said, moving aside. “I just had a nap so I took a quick shower to wake myself up,” he lied. “I thought I would be done before you got here.” 

She eyed him again and gave him a little smile before she stepped inside. With his back to her Jaime cringed. She clearly wasn’t buying his bullshit, but he had no idea what kind of conclusion she’d come to in her mind about why he was showing up at the door shirtless and wet from the shower. 

He quickly tugged his shirt on and pulled himself together. “If you haven’t eaten I thought maybe we could order a pizza to eat while we chat,” Jaime said. 

Brienne turned and looked at him again, her brow slightly furrowed. Pizza. You idiot. That’s what they had eaten in the hotel room that night. “Yeah, pizza sounds good. I’m actually pretty hungry,” she said finally. 

“Great,” he said quickly, too quickly. Why am I so fucking nervous he wondered. “Uh, yeah, so I’ll go order it now if you want to wait for me in the living room. I’ll bring something to drink too - red or white?” He already knew what she liked on her pizza, but not what kind of wine she preferred. 

“White would be lovely,” she said politely. There was a little wobble in her voice and it betrayed her. She was nervous too. 

Jaime felt immediate relief. “Listen, I know this is awkward,” he started. “But we both know it’s important and we’ll get through it.” It annoyed him that he felt the need to make her comfortable, but it was just the kind of guy he was. He ignored the part of him that was wishing all kinds of uncomfortable moments on her and stayed true to himself for the time being. He’d never been betrayed by anyone to this extreme before so the whole thing was really confusing. “We just need to be open and honest,” he added, giving himself the okay to explain how he was feeling later on if the moment came up. 

“I agree,” she replied. “And thank you,” she added. She could read him too fucking well, which started another battle inside him between the irritated side and the little spark of excitement he felt that she somehow seemed to know him, even though they were strangers. 

Jaime left and ordered the pizza and then found an expensive bottle of white wine and two glasses. Who are you trying to impress? He thought, rolling his eyes at himself. Still, he didn’t bother to switch out the $70 bottle for something cheaper. He poured it and carried out both glasses and the rest of the bottle to the living room where she was waiting. 

Brienne thanked him when he handed her the glass. She was sitting on the sofa so he opted for the chair just to her left. “So, what do you want to know?” He asked, getting right to the point. 

“I made a list,” she replied. “But I decided that it was stupid and I left it at home.” 

“What was on the list?” He asked curiously. “Do you remember some of the questions?” 

She blushed slightly. “I do, but they were silly stuff like what’s your favorite food, what kind of music do you like, and do you like football. Nothing of substance. Nothing that really matters.” 

“Tex Mex, Atl rock, and I’m more of a baseball guy,” he answered her questions in succession. 

“Baseball,” she smiled. “Honor will love that. Unless you hate the Rockies, then we’re in trouble.” 

“I could learn to love them,” he said with an easy shrug. He’d become an Giants fan living in San Fran, but he was an Astros fan as a kid, so one more change to bond with his kid wouldn’t be a problem. “See, maybe your unsubstantial questions aren’t so bad after all,” he added encouragingly. He really wanted the evening to be a success so Brienne would get around to telling Honor the truth sooner rather than later. “What else?” 

She asked a few more warm up questions and then she paused and chewed her lip. “Just ask me,” Jaime urged her. “I’ll answer anything.” 

“Did you want kids?” Brienne blurted out. She looked pale and almost panicked waiting for his response. 

He thought for a moment. He really should have been expecting that question and prepared himself for it, but as usual he was just going to have to wing it. “I’ve never been in a relationship with someone who really made me want to be a father,” he admitted. “I always assumed it would happen someday though. I wasn’t actively trying by any means, but I’ve always been open to it.” His answer seemed to please her. “What did you think I was going to say?” He asked, his voice a bit edgy. 

“Oh, I, uh, well I don’t know,” she stammered as his question clearly caught her off guard. “I mean, I guess - I guess I just need to believe that you actually wanted to be a father, not just that you have to because of the circumstances.” 

Her reply rubbed him the wrong way and he took a second to compose himself. The anger he felt towards her was bubbling up and he needed to control it. “This isn’t about what you need,” he said icily. He couldn’t help it - it just came out.

“You’re absolutely right,” she agreed. “But it’s about what my daughter needs. I know her, you don’t -“

“And whose fault is that?” He snapped, interrupting wherever she was going with that statement. 

“I didn’t, I didn’t mean - “ Her voice trailed off and she sighed. “I didn’t want it to go this way. I know you feel so much anger and resentment towards me and you have every right. But I was terrified this would just end up a fight and that’s not what I want at all. I, um, I don’t think that’s what you want either is it?” Jamie took a breath and shook his head. Once again she was right. “Can we try again? Maybe you have something you’ve been wanting to ask me?” 

There was one thing he’d been curious about. “Does your ex husband know the truth? Have you told him anything?” There was a really strange look on her face. “What?” He asked. 

“You don’t know,” she muttered. “How could you know.”

“Know what?” Jamie said curiously. 

“Renly, uh, Renly died - back in 2018,” she said softly. 

“Oh God,” he gasped, feeling like a complete asshole. “I had no idea. I’m so sorry.” 

“It’s fine, really,” Brienne shook it off. “We weren’t close anymore, but Honor was devastated.”

“They were close?” Jaime asked, as he pushed the jealous monster back down inside him. 

“Very close,” Brienne nodded. “With his partner Loras too. They still talk on the phone at least once a week.” 

“That couldn’t have been easy for you,” he said gently. One thing he knew for certain about this woman was that she was resilient and she was a fighter. He didn’t know her whole life story, but what he did know was that she’d suffered a lot of heartbreak. 

“It was hard at first, but I had to remind myself that her father loved her and it was a positive thing that they were close - “ she caught his eye and flushed. “I mean, Renly - she thought he was her father - he raised her, he didn’t know - “

“It’s okay, I get it,” Jaime interrupted her nervous stammering. “I’m not saying I like it and I’m not saying that I’m not extremely jealous of a deceased man, but I get it. You don’t have to tiptoe around like that.” 

“I’m sorry,” she replied. He didn’t know what specifically she was sorry for, but he didn’t bother to ask. 

“How did he die?” Jaime asked. “I mean, if you’re okay talking about it?” It really wasn’t his business but he felt like it was important that he knew about such a significant and tragic event that Honor had been through. 

“He was a cop,” Brienne started. “He was shot while on duty.” Jaime’s stomach twisted. The only man Honor had known as a father was a hero. How could he possibly live up to that? And how could he be thinking about himself and acting like a jealous idiot while listening to such a tragic story? 

Before she had a chance to continue the doorbell rang. “Be right back,” He said, taking off to answer the door and get their pizza. 

As he walked back with the box in his hand he felt more emotionally confused than ever. Honor’s dad was dead. He died a hero. But no, her father was alive because he was her real father. But he wasn’t anything special. Would she compare him to Renly? Would she resent him and think he was trying to replace the man she called dad her whole life? 

And on top of all of that there was the sexy, beautiful woman in his living room that had kept a piece of his heart all this time - yet she was the same woman who was causing this pain and seething anger inside him. Nothing felt right. He just wanted to feel good, to feel truly happy again. He wanted to feel like he did the last time he was in her arms - but he didn’t know if that would ever be possible again.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing this fic makes me really happy and I’m so appreciative to all those who are reading it. You guys are amazing 😘🥰❤️

“You remembered?” Brienne commented as he set the box on the table and opened it. Jaime had ordered the exact toppings that were on the first pizza they had shared - pepperoni, pineapple, and feta cheese. It wasn’t really a typical combination that could have just been a coincidence, it was her personal favorite. For many months after they parted he’d ordered his pizza with those three toppings every time, but since he’d finally forced himself to let go of the past and move on this was the first time he’d asked for those three items again. 

“Of course I remembered,” he replied softly. Part of him wanted to snap at her and let the words come out in a snarl, but she seemed so genuinely touched that he couldn’t bring himself to be anything but kind in return. “I remember everything,” he added with emphasis, before turning away with slightly flushed cheeks to reach for a slice of pizza. 

“Me too,” he heard her say, her wistful voice barely a whisper. Jaime took a bite and memories flooded him to the point he could barely swallow. He clearly hadn’t thought things through before he placed the damn order. He put the plate on the table and grabbed his wine glass, using the alcohol to get the food past the lump in his throat. He knew he needed a distraction if he was going to get the pizza down. “Tell me about Renly please, if you don’t mind talking about it,” he requested, sinking down into the nearest seat, which happened to be the same small couch she was sitting on. 

“I don’t mind,” she replied, after swallowing the bite she had just taken. “Well, as you know Renly was gay and when we split up he finally came out publicly and moved in with his long time lover Loras.” He sensed some slight bitterness in her voice, maybe even a touch of embarrassment, but at the same time he got the feeling she was pretty indifferent about the whole thing at this point. “His squad was mostly supportive, but there are always a few homophobes and he had some colleagues that made it clear they were never going to accept him for who he was. One of them even refused to work with him and changed shifts so he didn’t have to.” Brienne paused to have another bite and a drink. “It went beyond the police department though. People can be so cruel - kids too. Honor started getting picked on and ostracized because of it. She didn’t really understand at the time, she was so young, all she knew was that for some reason kids were picking on her because her daddy was in love with another man.” 

Jaime felt anger boiling inside him. Was it an innate response to be protective of your offspring? He wondered. He didn’t even know his daughter, but he loathed the little jerks that hurt her. “Tyler,” he whispered, as he finally made the connection. “That’s why they’re such fast friends isn’t it?” 

Brienne nodded. “As she got a bit older and started to understand how things work, she became - well, I guess you could call her a supporter of LGBTQ rights. I mean, she’s still young and has a lot to learn, but she would never judge someone because of their sexuality. And when she saw other kids picking on Ty it brought back a lot of memories for her. It’s not the same as what she went through, but she empathized in a way most kids their age could never do.” 

“I wonder how they’re going to react when they find out they’re cousins?” Jaime pondered out loud. 

She was quiet for a moment and he realized that perhaps she hadn’t even considered the fact that Honor and Ty were biologically related. “I, uh, I don’t know,” she muttered. Her reaction was strange, but Jaime decided it was likely from the anxiety of thinking about telling Honor the truth. “So anyway,” she continued, clearing her throat. “Back to Renly. He had responded to a call about gunshots and was investigating with his partner, when they happened upon a drug deal gone wrong. Renly called for backup right away. The closest officers were two men that couldn’t deal with Renly’s sexuality. They could have been there in a couple minutes or less, but they passed it off to another patrol car with the excuse they were pursuing a street racer. It took the other car 7 minutes to get to the scene and by that time Renly’s partner was shot in the leg and Renly took a bullet in the throat. He died before the other officers even arrived.” 

“Oh my God,” Jaime whispered, setting the second slice of pizza he’d grabbed down on the plate. 

“There was no proof of misconduct on the part of the two officers who could have possibly saved Renly’s life, but there was an investigation and to this day I’m still confident they refused to help a gay cop,” Brienne said sadly. He could tell she still had some type of love left for Renly when he passed, even if it was just friendship or the bond of raising a child together. 

“Does Honor know the truth? Does she understand?” he asked curiously. 

Brienne shook her head. “All she knows is that her dad was a hero and he died trying to save others. It was so traumatic for her - I couldn’t bear to make it any worse by trying to explain all the other bullshit that was going on too.” 

“Wow,” Jaime said sadly. “It sounds like he was a good man, and a great father too.” A lot of the jealousy he’d felt earlier was gone. He was still envious of the time they had shared and the bond they’d had, but there was also part of him that was thankful that in his absence Honor had grown up with a strong father figure in her life. 

“He was both of those things,” she said quietly, almost reluctantly. It was interesting because Jaime was pretty sure Brienne had the same kind of conflicted feelings about her ex as he did. “So yeah, that’s the story. We moved here not long after Renly passed just to give Honor a fresh start in a new school. She told me that her friends always seemed sad around her and she didn’t want to go to school anymore. There were also those same kids still being cruel - so we decided to move here. It was closer to work for me and far enough away that the kids at her new school didn’t know all her business.” 

Jaime finished his glass of wine. “You two have been through a lot.” 

“Seems like it’s one thing after another,” she shrugged - and it was clear she was including his arrival back in her life as the next thing. They were both quiet for a minute and then she spoke again. “I’ve always wondered if it’s karma for my choices back then. But if that’s true I really hate that it’s my fault every time she gets hurt.” 

They both finished up their pizza in silence as Jaime thought about what she’d said. Finally he wiped off his hands and mouth and then spoke. “Maybe I could offer a different perspective?” 

“Uh, sure,” she shrugged. He watched her pick up her glass of wine and just hold it, like it was a source of comfort. 

He took a deep breath and then started talking. “I know you feel like me showing up in your life is just another bad thing in a long line of bad things that have happened to you and Honor.” He watched her face fall with guilt, confirming his assumption. “Well, what if it’s not such a horrible thing that I’m here?” he asked. “What if, after some time obviously, Honor starts to enjoy having me in her life?” What if you do too? He thought, but didn’t say it. “Would it be so bad for her to know her biological father? Would it be so bad for her to - maybe - learn to love me?” 

Brienne was looking down at her hands and when she finally lifted her head he saw there were tears in her eyes. “None of those things would be bad,” she said quietly. “They would all be great - wonderful - amazing. The problem is -” Her voice trailed off and tear rolled down her cheek. “I’m just so afraid she’s going to love you and hate me for keeping you apart,” she finished. 

The pain and anguish on her face made him feel queasy. A little voice inside told him that she deserved it, but in his heart he knew she didn’t. People make mistakes and have regrets and it doesn’t mean they deserve to suffer. “She’ll never hate you,” he replied, sliding a little closer, but resisting the urge to touch her. He didn’t know how he would react if he did and he couldn’t risk it. “She might be angry and lash out, but she’ll never hate you. You’re her mom.” 

“But I fucked up Jaime,” she sighed. “And now it’s all coming back to bite me in the ass.” When he didn’t reply right away she groaned and wiped her tears away. “I’m sorry. This isn’t about me - it’s about you and her - and doing what’s right.” Brienne pushed herself to her feet and he slowly followed. “I got what I needed tonight,” she said, sounding very formal. “I’m going to tell her tomorrow and we’ll go from there. I’ll be in touch.” 

It was as if her business side had taken over and he recognized that it was likely a defense mechanism. She gathered her things and started towards the door, so he followed. He honestly didn’t know how to feel. He wanted to be excited that she was finally going to tell Honor the truth and he would get one step closer to meeting his daughter - as her father. But he couldn’t help but feel bad for Brienne and the very real possibility that her child might be furious with her. For all he knew, she could be livid with both of them and want nothing to do with him. There was no telling how she might react to such life altering news. 

Brienne reached for the door and pulled it open, then switched her hand to the knob on the outside of the door. He moved closer and put his hand on the inside knob. He back was to him, but slowly she turned. Their bodies were only inches apart and he could feel her body heat. He could also feel his skin start to tingle. She spoke with her head down, avoiding his eyes. “You’re a good man. I always knew that. I’m so sorry I did this to you.” 

She raised her eyes and when they met his Jaime’s heart started to pound wildly. The way she was looking at him with so much honesty and vulnerability - it got to him more than any of her words ever could. His gaze shifted to her mouth. They were so close and he wanted to feel his lips on hers so badly. 

He looked down further and saw she had moved her hand to his chest. It was positioned right over his heart and he knew she could feel it pounding. “We shouldn’t,” she said finally, as she gently grazed his chest with her fingertips. Her touch was making him crazy, a swirling, wild and feral kind of crazy, and he thought once again about shoving her up against something and attacking that delicious mouth. 

“You’re right, we shouldn’t,” he agreed, his voice cold and even - the complete opposite of what he was feeling inside. “Night,” Jaime added. 

With one last night tap on his chest she dropped her hand and replied. “Night.” 

She started to leave and he called out after her. “Hey Brienne - everything works out the way it’s supposed to in the end.” She stopped, turned around and gave him a little smile. And then she was gone. 

Jaime made a beeline for where he’d left his cell on the coffee table and quickly dialed Tyrion. “Hey, what’s up?” He replied. 

“Brienne just left,” he stated. 

“Oh? And how did that go?” Tyrion asked. 

He sighed, a long defeated sort of groan. “She’s getting to me. She’s not even trying and she’s wearing me down. Fuck,” Jaime hissed. “She makes me so soft.” 

“And hard?” Tyrion asked in amusement. 

He couldn’t help but chuckle at his brother’s perverted response. “Yes, that too,” Jaime agreed. “But I need to stand firm, right?” He continued. “I can’t let her off easy for what she did, right?” He needed someone to tell him what to do and Tyrion was the only one he trusted to do that. 

“What is your heart telling you?” Tyrion asked. 

Jaime sighed again. “You already know the answer to that. But the last time I let myself fall for her didn’t go so well.” 

“So what’s your head telling you?” Tyrion countered. 

“My head is a complete mess. It’s a constant battleground between what I want to do and what I think I should do,” he explained.

“Let me ask you another question then - all those years ago when you decided to leave your multi millionaire father and your controlling sister and go forge your own path in life - what did you listen to then? Your heart or your head?” 

“I don’t know, it was a long time ago,” Jaime replied.

But Tyrion called him on it. “You do know - you just don’t want to say because it scares you.” Jaime scowled. “You called me for advice so here it is - You need to trust that every decision you’ve made in your life has led you here - right where you’re supposed to be. You’re strong, brave, successful, and ridiculously good looking - but most importantly - you have a huge heart. Don’t let bitterness or spite or revenge make you someone you’re not.” 

They talked a bit longer and then said goodnight. Jaime paced for a few minutes and then changed his clothes and went for an evening run. He was way too wired to sleep and jogging helped him think - usually. He returned still feeling conflicted. 

He wandered into his room and noticed his wallet on the nightstand where he’d left it. He walked over and picked it up and then sat down on the bed. He opened it knowing exactly what he was looking for and precisely where he would find it. His hands were shaking as he pulled it out - the note she’d left him - his last memory of Brienne all those years ago. He didn’t actually need to read it because he knew every word by heart, even though he hadn’t touched it in years. But seeing her writing and holding the pages in his hand made it feel more real, more nostalgic. The aged paper made a crackling noise as he gently opened it up and then Jaime started to read.


	11. Chapter 11

Jaime did everything he could think of to distract himself the next day. He had no idea what time Brienne would be telling Honor or how long it would take, but he was confident Brienne would call him when it was done. As the day wore on though, he grew less sure of that and started to wonder if he should call her instead. 

He’d already been for yet another jog followed by a long shower. He’d answered like 50 emails that he’d let pile up. He went grocery shopping and cooked himself a nice lunch. He cut the grass that didn’t need to be cut and then showered again. And finally he’d pulled up a movie on Netflix to keep him from doing something that might require a third shower - since that seemed a bit ridiculous. 

The movie was almost over when his phone finally rang and saved him from having to find something else to do to kill time. It was her and he was already freaking out before he answered it. Jaime took a deep breath and let it ring one more time. He didn’t want to seem too anxious. “Hello?” he said.    
  
“Oh hi,” Brienne replied. “Um, so - I haven’t told her yet,” she said quickly. His heart sank right away. He thought he’d been preparing for the worst, but his plans had all been based on Brienne telling Honor the truth - he hadn’t even considered this case.    
  
“Why not?” he asked, trying to keep his voice calm and reign in the anger that was bubbling up. He knew it wasn’t going to do anyone any good for him to get mad again. 

“I tried, so many times but I - I just couldn’t figure out how to get started. Do I just blurt it out? Do I ease into it? I just have no idea what to say first,” she sighed. “I even wrote out something and had it all planned but when the time came I just choked.”    
  
“Keep trying,” Jaime said impatiently. “You have to tell her, so you might as well get it over with.” The only thing he’d wanted all day - the one thing he needed - and she was balking. 

“I’ll try again when she’s back,” Brienne replied rather unconvincingly.    
  
“Back? Where is she?” As soon as he asked Jaime wondered if it was any of his business. Part of him believed it was his business now - he was her father after all, but the other side said he needed to get to know her before he was privileged to that kind of information. 

“She went to a friend’s place for a bit,” she said with a hint of guilt in her voice. 

Jaime chewed on his lip for a moment in thought when an idea came to him. “What if I come over and we tell her together when she’s back?” He knew he was a stranger and it made more sense for it to be a private conversation between Brienne and Honor, but she had all day - all fucking day - and she wasn’t able to do it. Was there any point in giving her more time? “I can be the ice breaker that you need,” Jaime added. “She’s going to wonder why I’m there and you can lead right into it from that.” And if you don’t, he thought, I can tell her myself. He hoped it wouldn’t come to that because he didn’t want to upset or anger Brienne, but she had to know she wasn’t being fair - if she needed help he would help her. “If things don’t go well after she knows the truth, or if you need some time alone I can disappear then.” At least that way he would know for sure that the ball was rolling. 

“I guess we could give it a try,” she said hesitantly. “I don’t know - I just have no idea how she’s going to react.”    
  
“I know you’re scared, but you know it’s best to do it this way, for it to come from you - not a lawyer.” He really wasn’t trying to threaten her, but he was well aware it might come off that way. He didn’t care though, because all he wanted was for his daughter to know that he was her father. He wasn’t necessarily mad at Brienne, he really did understand how hard this was for her, but more just completely frustrated with the situation and the delay. 

Brienne let out a sigh of resignation. “Okay. Come over. We can talk and figure out the best way to tell her.” 

“Be right there,” Jaime said, already heading towards the door with his keys. After he hung up he paused and wondered if he should change. He was wearing sweats and a hoodie. He decided it would be better to dress casually and continued out the door. Then he stopped again and wondered if he was too casual and should go back and throw on jeans at least. He shook it off and got in the car deciding that his clothes weren’t going to make or break this first introduction. 

Brienne was already pulling open the door as he walked up. He’d parked by the curb a couple houses down, the closest he could get without parking right in the drive. “You could have just parked here,” she offered as he approached. 

Jaime shrugged and gave her a smile. “Didn’t want your neighbors to start talking,” he said in a flirty tone. He had no idea why it came out that way, but it felt natural. He’d been so guarded with Brienne and it wasn’t like him to be that way at all. 

“What about all the old ladies peeking out the window right now? Watching you walk up to my door while they check out your ass?” It shocked him that she flirted back like that and it also made his heart skip a beat. 

“Well then,” he said, bending over while he pretended to tie his shoe. “Guess we should give the old birds a good show.”    
  
“Get in here,” she laughed, tugging him inside the moment he stood up. It was a good start, he decided. He worried there would be a lot of tension and awkward silence at first. “Can I get you something to drink?” Brienne asked.    
  
“No thanks, I’m good,” Jaime replied. She nodded and led him to her living room which was just to the right. They took a seat on the couch, angled towards each other. 

Brienne spoke right away. “I’m really sorry - I know I should have told her already. You’ve been patient and kind and -”

“It’s fine,” Jaime interrupted. “Let’s just focus on what’s next, okay?” She nodded and he looked at her face for a second. She took his breath away. She looked the same, just like he remembered her. He took a deep breath to regain his focus. “So what are your thoughts? I really think the best thing to do is just get it out there quickly but we need to decide what and how much we’re going to tell her.”    
  
“Yes, I was struggling with that too. She knows how things work obviously and I’ve always been open with her talking about sex and sexuality - but it’s different when it’s your mom. She’s going to feel weird about it and I don’t want to make it awkward with more details than necessary,” Brienne explained. “Maybe someday when she’s older I’ll tell her the truth - but don’t worry -” she added quickly. “I’ll make it absolutely clear that you had no idea and it’s not your fault you weren’t here.” 

“Thank you,” he replied, genuinely thankful that she was clearly considering how he was portrayed in the story, even to her own demise. “Don’t be so nervous,” he added. “I don’t think it’s going to be as bad as all the nightmares you’ve come up with in your mind.”    
  
“I hope you’re right,” she sighed, but she didn’t look at all convinced. “I think - oh -” Her phone buzzed interrupting her. Brienne looked down at it and then up at him with extreme concern all over her face. “She’s asking if she can stay the night,” she said, cringing before he even had the chance to respond.    
  
“On a school night?” he asked. He didn’t mean to sound like a parent, but since that what he was now it was fitting.    
  
“It’s a holiday tomorrow, remember?” she replied. 

“Oh right,” Jaime muttered.    
  
“I can tell her no - “ Brienne said. “But this is her best friend and they haven’t seen each other in a month. Lyanna has been in Haiti with her parents. Her dad, Dr. Momont, is a member of Doctors Without Borders and they went down to help with all the injuries from that massive earthquake.” 

Jaime sighed deeply. “You might as well let her stay. It’s not going to help us if she’s already pissed off because you wouldn’t let her stay over.” 

Brienne sent a quick text. “I told her she has to come home first thing tomorrow morning, that we’re having company for breakfast.” 

Jaime realized that was his invitation. “I’ll be here,” he said with a nod. What’s one more night? He thought, trying to convince himself that this wasn’t that horrible.    
  
“God. Fuck. I’m so sorry,” she moaned suddenly. “I fucked this up so bad. I keep fucking this up,” she growled. He could see her eyes welling with tears. “This isn’t like me at all. I don’t procrastinate. I get shit done. I do things right. What is going on?” 

His heart ached for her and the obvious pain she was feeling. “It’s okay,” he said, sliding closer. 

“It’s not,” she hissed, whipping her phone at the chair across from them. It bounced off and clunked to the ground, but seemed like it would be fine. 

“Hey,” he said calmly, as he set his hand on top of hers so they were both resting on her leg. “Just breathe.”    
  
“I can’t,” she gasped. “It’s not just me I have to worry about. I’m affecting her too. This is going to be so hard. I’m supposed to protect her. I’m supposed to be strong. I need to take care of her. I’m all she’s got now.” 

After she spoke those words she opened her eyes and looked at him, already apologizing again. “You’re not all she’s got anymore,” Jaime replied, trying not to hold it against her given her emotional state. “You’re not alone.” 

When Jaime finally let himself look back at her, really look at her - he knew he was fucking done. His heart started to beat so hard and fast he could hear the pounding in his ears. Those gorgeous blue eyes - deep and so full of emotion. All he’d wanted for so long was to gaze into those sparkling pools just one more time. 

He knew what he wanted, but he still had no idea if she would want that too. The battle in his mind raged again. You can’t kiss her if you don’t forgive her a voice said. Then forgive her - let go. STOP. Don’t stop. STOP. Don’t Stop. Stop - DON’T STOP!!! Jaime ignored the battle of his conscience and tested the waters by lifting a hand to her face. Just touching her cheek made him tingle all over. His heart was aching, ready to burst inside his chest. He grazed her jaw with his thumb and felt her lean into his touch, just slightly. That was all he needed to close the gap between them and press his lips to hers. 

The tingles changed to full, strong, electrical current coursing through his body. Her lips were soft and warm, just like he remembered - just like he knew they would be. This wasn’t how he’d imagined it would happen every time he thought about kissing her. His fantasies had always been much more passionate - throwing her up against a wall, shoving his tongue into her mouth to taste her, his hands roaming and groping everywhere he could reach. This was different though - it was sweet and calm, yet he had no idea where he was getting the ability to resist attacking her like an animal. 

Their lips brushed gently, several times, and it felt like each time was a brand new beginning, that first tender touch over and over again. Jaime could have kissed her that way a million times, or at least he thought so until her hand touched the back of his neck, her fingers moving through his hair. Whatever control he’d somehow mustered up was gone in an instant and the kiss became something completely different. 

The longing, the craving, the intense desire he’d felt for her that night and for so long afterwards all came rushing back, exploding like dynamite. He tried hard to hold some of it back, worried his aggressiveness might be as terrifying for her as it was for him, but he could only manage it for a short time before he had to just let go. She was ready for him though and she met him with that same passion that was exploding inside him. Their tongues brushed and Jaime was lost in her - completely and utterly lost. 

He leaned into her and she shifted below him, leaning back onto the couch, allowing his body to rest between her legs. The new leverage was exciting, as was his new positioning. He kissed her mouth a little longer, before moving to her neck, eliciting a deep moan that made his already stiff dick grow rock hard. That was the first time he’d focussed on anything other than kissing her and now it was all he could think about. 

Jaime pressed his groin against her and Brienne’s eyes flew open. He rubbed himself between her legs and watched her eyes darken with lust as she whimpered. There was a new battle in his mind, but it was very different this time - should he continue to take it slow or just attack her clothing and finally remind himself how good it felt to be inside her. 

As he rubbed against her again she shifted and threw her head back with a gasp. He went to reach for the button on her jeans, but at the very same time she bit her lip and he couldn’t resist diving down to kiss her one more time. She wiggled below him with her hands splayed over his back and Jaime didn’t know how much more he could take. He was about to reach for her button again when a sound caught his attention. 

Jaime froze and his eyes widened in horror. “Mom?” a voice called out. He sat bolt upright, now in full view from the front entrance instead of hidden by the couch. Wrong move. He knew it instantly. 

Brienne was looking back at him with the same shocked expression as she slowly sat up. They both turned and looked at Honor as she froze and gazed back at them. “Oh,” she said sounding dumbfounded, while things started to make sense in her mind. “Hey Mr. Lannister,” she said, looking at him with wide eyes. “Um, yeah - I just had to come pack up a few things to stay over, so - uh - yeah, I’ll just head upstairs,” she muttered, backing away with flushed cheeks. 

“Fuck,” Jaime whispered, rubbing his face with his hands as they untangled from each other. “Things just got real awkward, real fast,” he mumbled. 

Brienne’s cheeks were bright red. “That was the first time she’s seen me with a man,” she whispered. “I mean, she didn’t see anything, but she knew -” Her voice trailed off. Her eyes dropped to his crotch and Jaime quickly adjusted himself, though nothing but time was going to help the situation in his pants. “You should go,” she urged. “Before she comes back down.” 

“Uh yeah, you’re right,” he agreed, getting to his feet. His phone buzzed and Jaime pulled it out to check it. There was a text from Ty.  _ Were you really just making out with Honor’s mom???  _ “Word travels fast these days,” he muttered. “That was Tyler. I’m going to have to tell him soon,” Jaime said softly. 

“I know, I know,” she replied, guiding him towards the door as they talked. “Just - I’ve got to - just let me tell her first - somehow.” She pulled open the front door. “Go - I’ll call later.”    
  
Jaime nodded and the second he stepped outside the door was shut behind him. It felt like he was outside with so much unfinished business on the other side of the door. He couldn’t help but wonder if they had just made things so much worse? Jaime practically ran to his car with his cock bouncing as he jogged. He was regretting not changing into jeans. They would have masked his raging hard on a lot better than the loose joggers. 

When he was inside the car he finally felt less exposed, even though he knew in reality there was only one person other than him who had noticed the situation in his pants. With one last glance at the house he drove away, wondering what was going on inside with him gone. It was going to drive him insane until he found out what Brienne was telling their daughter. 

On the way home Jaime pulled over on the side of the road for a second to calm himself from all the horrible scenarios running through his mind. He reached for his wallet and he took out the letter. There was a monster inside of him that wanted to rip it to shreds every time he looked at it, but he knew he would only have regrets if he did. Lately he’d imagined showing it to her one day - showing her that he still had it. How would she react? He wondered. Could she still remember what she wrote? Would he read it to her? Or just recite it word for word? 

His eyes wandered over the page and then he closed them and spoke each word out loud. 

_ Hey,  _

_ I’m so sorry to leave like this, but if you wake up and I look into your eyes again I don’t know if I’ll be able to walk away - and I need to walk away - I must.  _

_ What we shared was special and I know you felt it too. But don’t try to find me, please don’t you dare. You need to get yourself to California and take that job. You’re going to do great things - all on your own. You’re free, so be free - be amazing.  _

_ If you forget about me in a few days or a few weeks - it’s okay, but I’ll never forget you as long as I live. I wish I had asked your name, but maybe it’s better this way. You’ll always be the lonely boy in the rain that changed my life.  _

_ When I think about you, and I know I will often, I’ll remind myself that things always work out the way they’re supposed to in the end. They will for you and they will for me.  _

_ I already envy the lucky people who will be touched by your light. I know I don’t deserve it though. I don’t deserve you. But someone does , so when you find her - let yourself be loved.  _

_ Thank you for everything you gave me.  _

_ XOXOXO. _

_ B  _


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for being so into this story with me. I can feel the love and support and it’s truly motivating. Love to you all 😘😘

“Morning,” Brienne said as she opened up the door and let him in. “She’s not here yet, but she should be home soon. I was just going to start making pancakes,” she informed him. 

“I’ll help,” he offered, following her to the kitchen. Brienne had called him the night before and apologized profusely, because she’d let Honor go back to her friends and didn’t say anything to her yet. So they’d decided to continue as planned with the breakfast, even though they both knew it could start off a bit awkwardly after the compromising position they’d been caught in the day before. Even though there was part of him that was a little annoyed that, yet again, she’d balked on telling Honor the truth, the bigger part of him was actually happy that he would get to be there for that moment. 

Jaime joined her in the kitchen and they started working on breakfast. She told him what she needed help with and he did it. They moved around each other easily and comfortably, like they’d done it a million times. It was weird and very domestic, but he had to admit to himself that it was really nice. He’d seen the way Tyrion and Shae worked as a team in the kitchen many times and he didn’t even realize until that very moment that he was envious of them. Now that he’d had a little taste of it he already wanted more. He watched Brienne flip a pancake and then scowl because it wasn’t absolutely perfect. Jaime smiled - she was clearly a perfectionist and it was pretty cute in that context. 

The recognition of that trait in her was followed with concern though. It made more sense why this disorder in her life was so challenging. Not that it wouldn’t have been challenging for anyone, but he could tell she would take everything just a little bit harder because it was throwing her controlled life into chaos. On the flipside, Jaime knew she’d been through a great deal of mayhem and turmoil - but she’d survived it all and came out stronger. He had no doubt this would be the same. 

Jaime just finished setting the table and Brienne was bringing over the plate of pancakes, as well as the bacon he’d cooked, when they heard the front door open and Honor arrived in the kitchen. “Oh my God it smells so g - “ She froze and stopped talking when she saw Jaime standing there. She narrowed her eyes and glanced from him to Brienne and back again. “Did you - uh - sleep here?” 

He felt his cheeks burn. “N - no -” he stammered. Why was she throwing him off so badly? It was very rare for him to feel embarrassed about anything. “I just got here about half an hour ago,” he finished, pulling himself together and recovering quickly. 

“Oh, okay,” she nodded. He didn’t miss the strange look she gave her mother which indicated she would ask about it later, he guessed. 

“Come sit,” Brienne said. “We made your favorite.” 

“We?” Honor asked, as she dropped her overnight bag and kicked it aside, then wandered over and sat down. 

“I got here early so I helped a bit,” Jaime offered an explanation. He was worried they would end up eating a silent and ridiculously awkward breakfast, but things turned around quickly. All it took was Brienne asking Honor about Lyanna and her family’s trip. Jaime couldn’t wipe the smile off his face listening to her chatter on and on and on - this beautiful child who looked so damn much like him had already stolen his heart. 

“I can’t wait for Lyanna to meet Tyler,” Honor said cheerfully. She glanced over at Jaime when she spoke about something he finally had a stake in. 

“I’m sure Tyler will love her like you do,” he replied honestly. Tyler was such a kind and loving boy and Jaime already trusted Honor’s taste in friends. He was confident his nephew would get along great with Honon’s fascinating best mate. When he looked over at Brienne there was some concern on her face that he didn’t really understand, but it passed quickly. 

Honor went on about some club at school and Jaime hung on her every word even though he literally had no idea what she was talking about. When they were done eating she immediately got up and helped clear the table and load the dishwasher. Jaime couldn’t believe how well mannered and thoughtful she was to help out without her mother even having to ask. 

“I’m going to go put my things away,” she announced. 

“Oh, um, can you sit for a moment first?” Brienne asked. Jaime heard the shakiness of her voice and gave her a reassuring nod. “There’s something we need to tell you.” 

“Okay?” She said, narrowing her eyes as she walked back to the table and took a seat. “Are you two dating? Is that it?” Honor asked. “I don’t mind. You should move on Mom. It’s been a long time.” 

Jaime was already shaking his head and Brienne looked horrified. He couldn’t help but feel slightly wounded at her reaction, but he understood it was more about the idea of talking about her love life with her daughter, than anything personal against him. “No, that’s not it at all,” Brienne replied. 

“Is it about Tyler?” she guessed again. “Is everything okay?” 

“Tyler is fine,” Jaime assured her. 

“It’s about your father,” Brienne blurted out before Honor had a chance to guess again. 

He could actually feel the mood in the room darken with grief. “What about him?” Honor said softly. “I miss him,” she added, clawing at Jaime’s heart. He wished he could take away her pain and was remiss that he was about to add to it. 

“I know you do Baby,” Brienne said, moving closer. “That’s what makes this even harder.” Her voice was already choked with emotion and Jaime was skeptical that she was going to get through it. But she surprised him by getting right to the point. “Renly, your dad, he will always be your father in your heart and in your memories - but he wasn’t your biological father - Jaime is.” 

Honors eyes widened in shock and she was completely silent, clearly trying to process what she just heard. She was wise for her years and mature for her age, but she was still a child being told that the man she believed was her father wasn’t really her father. “I - I don’t understand,” she whispered, her face as white as a ghost. 

“I know you probably have a lot of questions -” Brienne started. 

“You lied to me?” Honor interrupted. “All these years you lied?” Her voice was getting louder with each sentence. “Did Dad know? Did he lie to me too?” 

Brienne shook her head. “Your dad had no idea. I didn’t tell him anything.” 

He could see Honor’s chest heaving up and down and he was worried she might start to hyperventilate. Suddenly her eyes were on him, flashing with anger and then filled with hurt. “And you - you’re my dad - and - you left me?” 

“No,” Brienne said, before he even had a chance to respond. “He didn’t know either. I swear. It’s all on me.” 

“If I knew I never would have left,” Jaime said, talking through the lump in his throat. It was devastating that even for a second she believed he would leave her. “I would have stayed. I would have been there for you - for you both,” he added, glancing over at Brienne. She already had tears on her cheeks and he saw her eyes well up even more. 

“How? Why? I don’t -” Honor stammered. “I don’t understand.” The anger returned and she slid her chair back with a loud scrape. “I lost the only one who never lied to me, who loved me from the day I was born - and this is what I’m left with?” she yelled. Jaime felt the heat of anxiety creeping up his neck. He had no idea what to do or say - all he knew is that he wanted to take away her pain - not just hers, Brienne’s too. It was killing him seeing them both in such agony. “A stranger,” she eyed him. “And a liar,” she finished, glaring at her mother for a few seconds before spinning and starting to walk away. 

“Wait,” Brienne gasped. “I’m so sorry.” 

“I’m going to my room,” Honor said, without turning back. “I need to be alone.” 

The kitchen was silent, other than the odd sniffle from Brienne. Jaime was frozen in place, unsure of how to respond. He knew this was Brienne’s biggest nightmare coming true and there was nothing he could do to stop it. He took a couple steps and then reached out to touch her arm. “Hey,” he said tenderly. 

She immediately swatted him away. “Don’t,” she snapped, her eyes flashing angrily. 

The hairs on the back of his neck stood up as he prickled. “You can’t possibly be mad at me,” he said, keeping his tone as even as possible. He took offence, he couldn’t help it, but he also knew she was lashing out because she was hurting so badly. 

Brienne walked over to the counter and turned her back to him without a word. He took a few long deep breaths. She needed someone to blame, that’s what this was. He gave her a moment and then approached her again. He put his hand on her shoulder and she quickly jerked away. He waited 5 seconds and tried again. This time she just slumped, but didn’t pull away from him. “If you hadn’t come here,” she muttered. “Everything would be fine.” 

“Well I am here,” he replied. “And this time I’m not going anywhere,” he added, squeezing her shoulder a little more. “I’ll be here for her - and I’ll be here for you,” he whispered, stepping closer so her back was almost touching his chest. It felt good to say those words to her. They were meant to soothe her pain, but they were also like a balm for him too. They allowed him to let go of a little more of his anger and resentment. 

It felt like an eternity, but finally she turned around. His heart wrenched when she looked him right in the eye and spoke, “I’m scared.” Jaime opened his arms and she fell against him with a sob. “I know this isn’t your fault,” she sniffed, her chin resting on his shoulder. “I’m just so terrified that I’m not thinking straight.” He rubbed her back and held her tight, offering the only thing he could right then - comfort and reassurance. 

When she finally settled some he let go of her enough to look her in the eye. “How long do you think she needs? I know you want to go talk to her.” 

“I don’t know,” Brienne shrugged. “She’s never done this before. She was still young when Renly and I split. And when her dad died she never wanted to be alone, she wouldn’t leave my side for the longest time.” 

Jaime took a deep breath. “Go check on her. If she’s still upset you can give her more time, or maybe she’s ready to talk to you a little more.” Brienne nodded a bit. “Do you want me to wait?” 

She nodded again. “Could you? And if I don’t come back down in a few minutes you can go and I’ll call you later?” 

“Of course.” He slid his grip down her arms and took her hands, giving them a squeeze. “Be strong. She might be mad at you, but she still needs you and she will always love you.” Brienne gazed at him, looking a little stunned and then she reached up and touched his hair, staring into his eyes. Jaime didn’t know what was going on in her mind right then, but the way it made him feel was all he needed to know. He placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. “Go,” he whispered. 

He heard her footsteps on the stairs and once they disappeared he busied himself putting a few more things away from breakfast. It wasn’t long before he heard thundering footsteps coming back down the stairs and Brienne appeared in the kitchen again, looking completely panicked. “She’s gone,” she said breathlessly. “The window is open and she’s gone.”


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All your guessing was making me laugh. I had considered all the ideas you guys came up with, and was Actually really leaning towards Loras, but the fact I made him live in another town made it too messy logistically and in the end it doesn’t really matter where she went - it’s the why that’s important - which you’ll find out soon. 
> 
> I love all the comments and appreciate them so much. You guys are amazing and I adore each and every one of you ❤️❤️❤️

“Okay, don’t panic,” Jaime said calmly. He could see in her eyes that Brienne was on the verge of a complete meltdown. “Where would she go? Who do we need to call?” 

Brienne took a couple of deep breaths and then pulled herself together. “Lyanna. Tyler. They’re the most likely. She has lots of other friends from school and snowboarding, but I think we start with those two first.” 

“Perfect. You try Lyanna’s house and I’ll call Ty.” Jaime pulled out his cell phone and dialed Ty’s number. It rang several times and went to voicemail so he tried a second time with the same result. He furrowed his brow. Tyler always answered his phone. Maybe he’s showering or something Jaime thought. He sent a text and then waited to hear if Brienne found out anything. 

“She’s not there,” she announced, hanging up. “They promised to call if she shows up, but Lyanna said she hasn’t heard from her since she left there this morning.” 

“Ty didn’t answer, but I sent him a text too. In the meantime, who else should we call?” He asked. They brainstormed and decided to call the church where Honor often helped out volunteering, the training facility where she did her off season snowboard lessons, and Loras. The only problem was, Jaime couldn’t really help out because they all knew Brienne was Honor’s guardian and obviously wouldn’t give out information to a stranger. 

Brienne called Loras first while Jaime listened. “Hey, have you heard from Honor at all?” she asked. They knew that even if Honor somehow found a ride to get to where Loras lived she hadn’t been gone long enough to actually make it there yet. Jaime heard her sigh and he already knew the answer. “I can’t explain right now, I need to find her. But I’ll call once she’s home and fill you in. Of course, I’ll keep you updated. Okay, bye.” 

She called the training facility next and before she was done on the phone Jaime got a reply from Ty. It said: _Nope she’s not here._ He waved at Brienne and she quickly said goodbye. “She’s with Ty,” he announced. 

“She’s there? Are you sure?” Relief took over her face. 

“Well, he said she’s not there, but he’s lying.” Brienne’s expression changed immediately. “All he said was - ‘Nope she’s not here’,” Jaime explained. “Ty is a worrier. If he didn’t already know where she is he would have asked if she’s okay or asked if he could help find her.” 

“What if he’s just busy and answered you quickly?” she asked, looking skeptical of his deduction. “Then we’re just wasting time going over there for nothing.” 

Jaime shook his head. “She’s there. I can feel it. Or at the very least he knows something.” 

Suddenly she snapped her fingers. “Fuck,” Brienne hissed, pulling out her cell phone. “Why didn’t I think of this earlier? I can see where she is.” She tapped at her screen. “Her phone is showing up on Bruce Street.” 

“See, I told you. Tyrion’s house is on Bruce. Let’s go,” he replied, heading for the front door. They got into his car and he took off. He drove way too fast, but they were in Tyrion’s drive 5 minutes later. 

Jaime hit the door bell as a warning, then punched the code and let them in without waiting for anyone to come to the door. Ty was jogging down the steps as they walked inside. “Where is she?” he spat - angry at Ty for lying to him. 

“Who?” he asked, still playing innocent. 

“You know exactly who I’m talking about - Honor,” he growled. “Where is she? And why did you lie to me?” 

“I don’t know where she is,” Ty replied. “I swear, I have no idea.” 

“Stop with the bullshit,” Jaime snapped. “We tracked her phone, we know she’s here.” 

Tyler pulled a cell out of his pocket and held it up. “Her phone is here, but she’s not. She left like 20 minutes ago. She knew you were going to trace it, so she left it with me.” 

“Fuck,” Jaime grumbled. 

“So now she’s out there somewhere with no phone?” Brienne asked, looking sick. 

“Oh she has a phone, I gave her my phone,” Ty explained. “I don’t have the ‘find my phone’ thing turned on. I had to shut it off when I updated my new phone and dad forgot to turn it back on.” As much as he wanted to strangle his nephew, he had to admit that he was impressed that the two of them had planned things so well. 

“Did she tell you where she was going?” Brienne asked. “Please Ty. We’re worried about her. We need to find her and make sure she’s okay and safe.” Her voice broke at the end and Jaime saw there were tears in her eyes. 

“She wouldn’t tell me,” he said sadly. “What’s going on? Why is she so upset? I begged her to tell me everything but she said I would find out soon enough and she needed to do something right away. She promised she wasn’t going far and she would be fine.” Ty looked at Brienne and Jaime could tell that his nephew’s empathetic soul was hurting for her. “I’m so sorry I didn’t call you right away, but I promised her that I wouldn’t.” 

Jaime walked over and put a hand on Ty’s shoulder. “It’s okay,” he said softly. “I’m sorry I yelled at you, but we’re just worried about Honor.” 

Ty looked up at him. “Why? I mean, I know she’s missing and her mom is worried, but why you? Why are the two of you even together right now? Why are you so worried about some kid you don’t even know?” He was quite shocked that Honor hadn’t told Ty anything at all. 

“I’m just trying to help,” Jaime muttered quickly, glancing at Brienne. “Listen, there are things you don’t know, things you don’t understand,” he continued. “When Honor is home safe I’ll come by and explain everything. But for right now - I need you to promise you’ll call me immediately if you hear from her or find out where she is.” 

“I promise,” Tyler nodded. Jaime gave him a quick hug and the two of them left. 

“Now what?” Brienne sighed. “I can try calling the church, or we can just drive by there since we’re already out. But I don’t think she’s there. I have no idea where else to look.” 

“Do we just wait her out?” he asked, as he backed out of the drive. “It sounds like she just had something she wanted to do, whatever that may be, and she’ll come home.” 

“We should have brought her phone,” Brienne moaned. 

Jaime hit the brakes. “I can go back,” he offered. “But I don’t think Tyrion has house phones, they all just have their cells. So if no one else is home and we take Honor’s phone from Ty he won’t have anything.” He glanced over at her. “I guess I could just leave him mine though,” he added. 

“No, no, it’s fine,” she said, motioning for him to continue. “I just thought maybe she would answer if we call her from her own phone, but we can give it some time I guess. If she’s not home in a couple of hours we can go back and give that a try.” 

“Do you want to drive around a bit and see if we happen to spot her somewhere? Or head home?” he asked gently. He knew the wait would be excruciating for her and he wanted to do whatever was best to make her comfortable. 

“Maybe drive for a bit. Stop at the church. And then head home and wait. I don’t want her to come home and us not be there waiting.” Jaime liked that she said ‘us’ and was already including him in their lives. They both knew it was inevitable anyway, but he wasn’t sure how quickly or easily she would accept that. Eventually there would be visitation and he hoped they could arrange a joint custody situation that worked for everyone. One step at a time, he reminded himself once again. He had a bad habit of getting way ahead of himself and he knew the only thing that he should be thinking about right then was getting Honor home safe. 

“She’s going to be okay,” Jaime said softly as he drove. He was trying to comfort Brienne, but he knew that he needed to hear that too. This was his very first experience of worrying as a parent and he knew it wouldn’t be his last. But it was very different than any type of anxiety he’d ever experienced in his entire life. He knew what it was like to worry for a sibling, or your own parents, or even close friends or someone you loved, but there was really nothing that compared. There was this innate willingness to give anything he could to have her home safe and the built in desire to protect her. And those emotions were deep and strong, even though he’d only just found out she existed. He couldn’t imagine what it would feel like a few months or years down the road - which was why he felt so horrible for what Brienne must have been going through. 

They made a stop at the church and he waited in the car. It didn’t take long for her to return with no news. They arrived back at Brienne’s and headed inside. “Honor?” she called out, though they both were prepared for no response she still took it hard. “Dammit,” she muttered, looking defeated. 

Jaime moved closer and wrapped his arms around her. “She’ll be home soon and everything will be fine,” he assured her. 

“You don’t know that,” Brienne muttered tucked against his chest. 

“I do,” he replied. “She’s smart and independent. She knows what she’s doing and even though the waiting is horrendous, she will come home when she’s ready.” 

Brienne straightened up and looked into his eyes. “Thank you for being here,” she said. 

“I wouldn’t be anywhere else,” he replied with a nod. It felt good that she acknowledged his presence in a positive way, when earlier she’d been bitter about him coming into their lives. His eyes dropped to her lips and then he quickly looked away. This wasn’t the time to be thinking about that - although, what else could they do but sit around and worry? Maybe a distraction was what they both needed. His eyes drifted back to her lips again and he moved slowly towards her mouth, giving her plenty of time to stop him if she didn’t want it. 

When they finally touched he felt the same sparks he always did with her and for just a second everything felt right. She kissed him back, softly at first, but there was an eagerness that soon followed and Jaime knew the distraction was as good for her as it was for him. The nostalgia he felt holding her, kissing her - it was transcendent. 

They were still standing just inside the front door and he slowly backed her up against the wall, just like he’d been imagining in his fantasies for so long. There was something so sexy about pinning her like that, removing her ability to escape - although he would obviously let her go if that’s what she wanted. She didn’t though, not at all. It turned her on even more, just like it did him. 

His tongue sought out hers and he tasted her over and over. She made him so weak, so filled with desire he felt dizzy. It was one of those moments where he simply couldn’t get enough yet couldn’t take anymore at the same time. Fortunately, or unfortunately, he was either saved or hurt, by the ringing of his fucking cell phone. 

He backed away quickly and scrambled to get his phone out of his pocket hoping it was Ty with news. Without even checking to see who it was he answered. “Hello?” 

“Hello son.” The voice on the other end sent chills down his spine. It had been quite some time since he’d heard Tywin Lannister’s voice, in person or on the phone. 

“Father,” Jaime replied coldly. 

Tywin got straight to the point as usual. “Tell me, who is Honor Baratheon and why did she just call me?” 

Fuck. Shit. Oh. My. God. Jaime’s chest tightened as he completely freaked out in his mind. He knew better than to let an ounce of that show through to his father though. He spoke calmly and with authority. “I can’t talk right now, but I’ll call you and explain when I have time.” With that he hung up the phone before his dad could get another word in. 

Brienne was looking at him curiously, with obvious anticipation. “Well we still don’t know where she is, but apparently she just called my father,” Jaime sighed, explaining the phone call, while at the same time wondering if the day could possibly get any worse?


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry this one took a little longer than usual. I meant to finish this yesterday and life got in the way. You guys are so inspiring with your comments and kind words. Thank you so much for making me smile 😊❤️

“Wait, that was your dad? He’s talked to Honor? Why did you hang up? Call him back, see if he knows anything,” Brienne said frantically. 

“He doesn’t know anything,” Jaime replied. 

“How do you know? You didn’t even ask. Jaime, please? Call him back and just ask.” There was panic in her eyes, but also a glimmer of hope that he knew he was about to crush when he dialed back with father with a sigh. 

“Did you call back to apologize?” Tywin answered. 

“Did she say where she was calling from?” Jaime asked, ignoring the question. “Did she give you any idea of where she might be?” 

There was a low throaty laugh. “You lost this child?” 

“Just answer the question,” Jaime snapped. 

“No idea where she might be. Maybe with Tyler since she called from his phone,” Tywin said in his usual patronizing tone. “Who is she Jaime? Why was she asking about you?” 

“I told you, I’ll explain later,” he huffed. His skin was prickling with anger and emotions he’d thought he suppressed for good. Jaime had convinced himself that his father couldn’t affect him any longer, but deep down he know that wasn’t true - and that’s exactly why he hadn’t wanted to call back. 

“Is she yours?” His dad asked. “Did you father some bastard child that’s trying to get herself in line for her cut of the family fortune?” 

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Jaime growled. “She’s just a kid. She doesn’t even know she’s in line for a pot of gold when you kick the bucket.” 

“So she is yours, hmm?” Tywin replied, sounding both angry and amused at the same time. 

“Gotta go,” Jaime said, quickly hanging up again. “He doesn’t know anything, just like I told you,” he snapped at Brienne. Her eyes flashed and he immediately felt bad. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he said quickly. “You were right, I needed to call back and find out for sure if he knew anything. Now we know.” 

“Thank you,” she said, her tone even as if she hadn’t fully forgiven him for snapping at her, yet she was still grateful he’d made the call. She started to pace, like a caged animal and just watching her was increasing his own stress level. 

Jaime walked up behind her and touched her shoulder. She stopped, but didn’t turn around. “I can’t take this for much longer. I just want her home,” she whispered. 

“I know,” he said softly. He lightly started to rub her shoulder with the one hand and felt her relax immediately. He added the other hand and gently worked her neck, shoulder, and back muscles. “She’s going to be fine,” he whispered, leaning in close to her ear. “Everything’s going to be fine.” 

Brienne leaned back against him and he moved his hands from her shoulders to circle her body and hold her. Jaime closed his eyes and held her tight. It was giving him comfort to be able to comfort her and he realized he needed the hug as much as she did. Her hand was stroking his arm and it was so calming. “Do you not have anything to do with your dad at all?” she asked gently. 

He recognized it was coming from a place of concern, but also the need for her to change the subject as well. “Here and there, but not too often really,” he replied. “It might sound stupid but I gave up so much to get out from under his thumb and I always worry that I’ll end up right back there if I engage too much.” 

“You won’t,” she said confidently, still rubbing his arm soothingly. “You’re strong and brave - he can’t control you anymore.” 

“You don’t know what he’s like,” Jaime sighed. 

Brienne turned to face him. “No, I don’t. But I know that you’re a good man.” She lifted a hand to his cheek. “And you did that all on your own - far away from him.” Jaime closed his eyes and enjoyed the warmth of her soft hand on his cheek and the way her words soothed his soul. To have her believe in him, more than he believed in himself, was hard to comprehend, but he knew it made him feel really good. 

“Than -” Jaime didn’t get a full word out when they were interrupted by the ding of a text on Brienne’s phone. 

She let go of him and pulled it out. “It’s from my boss,” she said. “Oh my god,” Brienne whispered after reading it. “She saw Honor at the library.” 

“Should we go?” he asked, already pulling out his keys. 

Brienne shook her head. “No, she said Honor was leaving when she spoke with her.” He watched her tap the screen and then waited. The phone dinged again. “She left the library about 20 minutes ago,” she sighed. “Could be anywhere by now.” 

“Thank God it stays light out longer right now,” he commented. “I don’t want her wandering in the dark.” He immediately regretted speaking that notion out loud by the rise of panic on Brienne’s face. “Don’t worry, she’ll be home before dark. She’s responsible.” 

“I used to believe that,” Brienne muttered. “Never in a million years did I think she would just take off without letting me know where she was going.” 

There was a ring and this time it was Jaime’s turn to answer the phone again. “It’s coming from Ty’s phone,” he said, his hand starting to shake slightly. “Hello?”

“Hi Uncle Jaime,” Ty replied. “I just wanted to let you know Honor was here and got her phone - my dad insisted on driving her home so they should be there any minute.” 

“Oh thank god,” he sighed. “Thank you for letting me know.” He hung up and smiled at Brienne. “My brother is dropping her off, she’ll be home any time now.” 

Brienne’s eyes welled up with tears and she flew into his arms. “Thank you, thank you,” she muttered over and over. 

The next 10 minutes felt like the longest 10 minutes ever. Even though he knew she was safe with Tyrion he wouldn’t stop worrying until she was actually back inside the house and he knew Brienne was feeling the same. When they heard the car in the drive they both ran to the front door and saw Honor walking up towards the house. “I’ll call you,” Jaime yelled to Tyrion with a wave. “Thank you for bringing her home.” 

Tyrion understood and waved back before reversing out of the drive to head home. “Where have you been?” Brienne snapped, before Honor even got fully inside the house. “Don’t you ever do that again,” she added, her voice breaking with emotion as she pulled Honor into a hug. 

Jaime was thankful that Honor let her mom hug her for a moment, before pulling away. “I went to Ty’s and then I went to the library and then back to Ty’s. It’s no big deal, I’m fine,” she said, rolling her eyes in that almost teenager sort of way that made Jaime cringe. 

“It is a big deal - we were worried sick,” Brienne replied, her tone back to the stern mom voice again. 

Jaime knew it really wasn’t his place, not yet anyway, but he couldn’t help but try to rescue Honor. “Why did you go to Ty’s and what were you doing at the library? You called my dad?” 

Honor sighed, a bit dramatically. “I wanted to know more about you,” she admitted to him. 

“Then why didn’t you just come downstairs and ask me?” Jaime replied. “I’ll answer any questions you have - I swear.” 

“I wasn’t ready to face you - or her,” she said, nodding coldly towards Brienne. “I was going to just ask Ty, but I realized on the way over that I would just have to explain everything to him and I wasn’t ready for that either. So we swapped phones so you couldn’t track me and I went to the library to do some research,” she shrugged. “Just like my dad taught me.” Jaime didn’t know exactly what that meant, but given that he knew Renly was a cop he deducted that it must have been something special the two of them shared. 

“Did you learn anything interesting?” Jaime asked, glancing over at Brienne with a shrug of his own. He wasn’t really sure how much she would have been able to find. Perhaps she had just found Tywin in the contacts on Ty’s phone, or maybe she looked up his family. 

Honor gave him a little smile. “Well, I know your dad is a millionaire,” she started. Jaime didn’t bother to correct her that it was likely much closer to billionaire these days. “And he’s a crusty old fart.” He couldn’t help but laugh at the honesty and accuracy of that statement. “I also know that your brother is pretty amazing and your sister is beautiful, but a total bitch.” 

“Honor,” Brienne gasped. “Language,” she hissed. “I’m so sorry,” she apologized, turning to Jaime. 

“It’s fine,” he said, still smiling. “I’m curious how you know all that about my sister though.” 

“I found a picture of her online, and Tyrion told me the rest,” she replied with a grin. “I believe he said she was colder than a well digger’s ass.” 

“Honor,” Brienne snapped again. 

“What? It was a direct quote this time,” she argued. 

“I have heard Tyrion say that before,” Jaime agreed, earning him a glare from Brienne. “And to be honest, it’s an accurate statement.” Him and Honor shared a look and smile that warmed him to the core. It was their first real connection, one of those inside joke type moments that he hoped there would be a lifetime of in future. “Anything else?” He asked. 

“I know you’re an architect and you have your own company and that Ty’s dad - oh wait, I guess - should I call him Uncle Tyrion now? He works for you,” she added. 

“We’ll have to figure all that out soon,” Brienne said softly. 

“Well anyway,” she continued. “He told me that you have a huge heart and more courage than anyone he’s ever met.” Honor paused for a moment. “And he said that you care a lot about my mom and have for a very long time.” 

Jaime looked over at Brienne again and he could tell how deeply those words impacted her. That would have to be a conversation for another time though. “That’s true,” he said softly, looking back to Honor. He had one more thing he was curious about. “Why was it so important to you to find out about me right away like that? Couldn’t it have waited?” 

Honor shook her head. “Nope.” She clenched her jaw. “I’m not staying here with the liar,” she said, not even glancing in her mom’s direction. Even that jab couldn’t have prepared him for the rest of what was coming. “And I didn’t want you to be a stranger when I come stay at your place tonight.”


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for the love and kind words. I’m so sorry it took a while to update, but this chapter is a bit longer to make up for it. I really hope you enjoy it and find yourself looking forward to the next 😘😉

Jaime’s gaze immediately flicked to Brienne to see her reaction. The hurt in her eyes was instant and obvious, but within seconds he saw her hide it. It was incredible the strength this woman had, to be able to compose herself after such a hurtful comment and shocking request from her daughter. The more time he spent with her, the more respect he developed - which was quite ironic given what she’d done to him. There was just something special about the woman that he couldn’t deny. She was a force. 

“Honor,” he said softly. “I don’t know, uh, I don’t think that’s a good -“

Before he could finish Brienne interrupted him. “Go to your room and pack a bag,” she said, her voice devoid of emotion. Jaime’s eyes widened in shock and panic, and he was too dumbfounded to speak. He watched Honor walk away in a stunned silence. “You’ll have to bring her here for 8am to catch the bus. Then you need to pick her up after school and take her for her snowboarding lessons. I’ll text you the address.” 

She was rambling on and on, but Jaime stopped listening because it was clear this was just a defence mechanism or way to distract herself from feeling the pain. “Brienne, Brienne,” he interrupted. “Hey,” Jaime moved closer. “Are you okay? We don’t have to do this. I never planned to take her this soon. I know you’re not ready.”

“I’ll never be ready,” she said softly. “And no, I don’t like it. I don’t like the way she just told me what she was doing and I gave in. I don’t like the fact that I’m allowing my baby to go with a man I barely know, no offence,” she added, giving him an apologetic look. It was fair and he understood. “And I don’t like the way I’m feeling like I’m just getting what I deserve,” she finished, her voice finally breaking at the end.

The immediate knee jerk response in his mind that said ‘maybe you are’ was a reminder that he hadn’t fully forgiven her. Jaime knew that sting might never go away completely and would likely resurface for years to come. It would pop up in those moments when they disagreed and the petty monster inside wanted an easy way to punish her. It would come out in the heat of the moment when he couldn’t fully control what was spewing from his mouth. But right then, with this vulnerable woman who was trying to be so strong, whose world was falling apart, he couldn’t allow himself to hurt her any more. 

What he could do though, was try to help make her feel better. “It’s not about getting what you deserve,” he said gently. “It’s about an 11 year old girl who just had her life turned upside down. She’s lashing out and you’re an easy target. But you know she loves you and nothing will change that. She just needs some time.” By the time he was finished talking there were tears running down her cheeks. “Hey,” he whispered softly. “Come here.” She resisted slightly, still trying to be strong, but finally she gave in and let Jaime hold her. “She will be safe with me. I swear,” he said, lightly stroking her silky blonde hair. “And tomorrow we’ll sit down and talk. We’ll figure this out.” He felt her nod and hugged her a little tighter. Jaime felt a bit guilty for enjoying the hug so much when Brienne was in so much pain, but he couldn’t deny how good it felt to hold her body against his and to be the one comforting her. 

“When we decided not to involve lawyers, this isn’t how I imagined it would go,” she said, with a sniffle. “This isn’t her. She’s not acting like herself at all. She’s never rude or disrespectful. I know she’ll come around,” Brienne sighed. “But right now it just feels like she’s being ripped away from me and I have no choice in the matter.” 

Jaime drew back. “You do have a choice,” he said, looking into her eyes. “She doesn’t have to come with me. Just say the word and we’ll tell her she’s staying here.” In the few short moments it had been since he found out Honor was coming to spend the night at his place he was already getting used to the idea and his nerves were turning to excitement. He felt relieved when Brienne shook her head and then guilty for feeling that way. 

“One way or another I have to get used to her spending time with you,” she said. “A week, a month down the road, it’s still going to hurt and I’m still going to be lonely when she’s gone.” 

“If we wait longer I won’t be a stranger,” he said, offering her another option, even if he didn’t like it. “We could start slow if you want.” 

Her eyes searched his for a long time and finally she spoke again. “Is it bad that I already feel like I can trust you? Does that make me a bad mom? I mean, I know where you live, you’ve been kind, understanding and supportive, you have family in town -“ Her voice trailed off as she listed the reasons she was willing to trust him with her child. Their child. “And she is your daughter,” Brienne finished. He had a feeling that the last one was the one that tipped the scales. 

“You’re not a bad mother,” he said. “I know this isn’t easy and you’re anguished over the decision - a bad mom wouldn’t care like you do.” He touched her cheek with the back of his fingers. “If there’s anything I can do to make this easier for you, say the word.” 

“Can you call me after she goes to bed?” Brienne asked, her voice soft, almost timid, as if she was scared he might say no. 

“Of course,” he nodded, still stroking her cheek. 

Before they could say anymore Honor reappeared. “I’m ready. Let’s get out of here.” Jaime quickly pulled his hand away and put some distance between him and Brienne. He gave her one more look, asking again if she was sure. Brienne gave him a little nod. 

Jaime looked over at Honor and nodded towards her mom. “Bye,” she mumbled, looking at Brienne quickly and then away again. He got the sense that this stubbornness wasn’t coming easy for her and was quite painful. He hoped Brienne noticed and it gave her a little comfort. 

“Bye Sweetheart. I love you,” Brienne replied. 

Jaime saw Honor clench her jaw and look at him. He didn’t move until she replied with a begrudged, “love you too.” 

“Bye,” he whispered, giving Brienne a little wave as he followed Honor out the door. He didn’t even want to think about what was going to happen the second he pulled out of that drive. He could only hope that Brienne had some work or something else going on to distract herself. 

“Are you hungry?” Jaime asked as he backed out of the drive. “We could grab supper on the way home.” 

“I’m starving. I haven’t eaten a thing since breakfast.” By that point it was almost supper time anyway and Jaime’s own stomach grumbled. 

“What do you feel like?” He asked. 

She thought for a moment then spoke, “Could we get Wendy’s?” 

“Only if you dip your fries in your frosty,” Jaime replied. 

“You do that too?” He could tell from the sound of her voice that she was excited. “My mom thinks it’s gross.” 

“Of course, it’s the only reason I go to Wendy’s,” he chuckled. 

“Sometimes I dip my chicken nuggets too,” Honor said with a giggle. 

“Okay that might be going a little too far,” he teased. When he glanced over she was smiling at him and Jaime smiled back. Fuck, she looks so much like me, he thought. Part of him was still considering a paternity test, just to be sure, but looking at that face told him everything he needed to know. They had the same eyes, the same smile - but her nose was more like her mother’s thankfully. There was really no doubt this child was his. 

In the next few hours he fell head over heels in love with his baby girl. She was so damn smart, witty and she could actually out-talk him, maybe even Tyrion, he couldn’t wait to find out if she could actually beat her Uncle with her gift for gab. 

Jaime loved that there was no awkwardness between them at all. He’d always been more than capable of talking to anyone, kids or adults, and she was exactly the same. He avoided bringing up anything that might upset her for most of the afternoon, but he knew they had to have a conversation at some point. 

“Hey, what’s that?” She asked, wandering over to where he’d set up his laptop with the designs for his new house that he’d printed off sitting beside it. 

Jaime walked over and picked up the blueprint and eyed it for a moment. “It’s the new house I’m building,” he said quietly. “It’s - our house,” he added, waiting for her reaction. 

“Our house,” she repeated. “I guess I’ll be living there with you sometimes,” she said with a smile. Jaime was relieved at the slip she made. Her tantrum earlier was clearly intended to seem like she was never going back home with Brienne.

“I’m going to walk you through what I’ve got so far,” Jaime said suddenly. “It’s going to be your home too so I want to make sure you like it. If there’s anything you hate or anything you want to add we still have a chance to do that before construction starts.” 

“Really?” Her eyes widened. Jaime nodded and pulled up a program that turned the designs into a 3D model of the home they could virtually tour. They spent the next hour going over every detail and Jaime made notes of any modifications she wanted including her own en suite bathroom, a bigger closet, a bay window where she could sit and read - and an inground pool off the back deck. He’d been considering a pool anyway so it didn’t take much to convince him. 

Jaime yawned and looked at his watch. “Hey, what time do you normally go to bed?” He asked. 

She gave him a sheepish grin. “About half an hour ago.”

He laughed. “Listen, before you do we need to have a chat about your mom.” He sat on the couch and patted the spot beside him. With a bit of a dramatic sigh she took a seat. “You know how much she loves you right?” He started. Honor gave a little shrug. “She would do anything for you, I bet she has your whole life huh?” Another little shrug. It was the quietest she had been the whole time. “I know you’re hurt and you’re mad, but she’s still your mom and you can’t treat her the way you did tonight.” 

Honor scowled. “How can you say that? You of all people? She hurt you too didn't she? She kept us apart.” 

He took a long deep breath. “It’s more complicated than that. But yes, I was mad at first too, really mad.” 

“And you’re not now?” She asked, looking wounded, as if him not being mad at Brienne was a slight towards her.

“Part of me will always be upset for all the time I lost with you. But the rest of me is going to be very thankful for every second we have together from now on.” He tilted his head to the side and smiled at her. “I don’t want to waste a second of that time with anger and resentment towards your mother because no matter what, we’re all part of each other’s lives now. Does that make sense?” 

“I guess,” she shrugged again. He could tell she wasn’t ready to give in yet, but he hoped he’d given her something to think about. 

“Good enough for now. So I guess it’s bedtime huh?” Jaime stood up. 

“Uh Jaime? Once I get my pyjamas on will you, uh, like, come say goodnight or whatever?” It was the first time he’d really seen her shy about anything and it was very reminiscent of what he’d seen from Brienne earlier. 

“Yep, just give me a shout when you’re ready,” he replied. He suspected Brienne must have still went to her room every night to tuck her in and Honor must have been a little bashful about it, yet still needed her usual routine. 

A few minutes later she called out and he walked down the hall to her doorway. He wasn’t really sure what to do so he just leaned in the door frame casually. “If you need anything you know where my room is,” he said. 

“Thank you,” she nodded. “For everything,” Honor added. 

Jaime gave her a nod of understanding. “Night,” he said softly. 

“Night,” she echoed. He watched her get comfortable and then backed out of the room, shutting the door as he did. 

Jaime went to his own room and shut the door, then grabbed the phone to call Brienne. They chatted for a few minutes and he assured her that everything was fine. She actually seemed better than he was expecting, but he could tell from the random warbles in her voice that she was struggling to keep it together. “I’ll have her there in the morning for 8 and we’ll figure this out okay?” He could tell from her soft muttered response that she wasn’t buying it, but Jaime was determined to work out an arrangement that would be best for everyone. 

After Jaime hung up he did a quick workout in his room. Normally he would have gone for an evening jog, but he didn’t want to leave with Honor there. He had a quick shower to rinse off the sweat and then went to get in bed naked. He rolled his eyes at his stupidity and slipped on a pair of boxers and a t-shirt. Having a kid around would mean a lot of changes, but she was absolutely worth it. 

He read a few emails on his phone and by 11pm he set it down and went to sleep. He woke to a knock on the door. Jaime rolled over and glanced at the clock - 1:12 AM. “Come in,” he called out, sitting up. 

Honor appeared. “Please don’t be mad,” she sniffed. 

“Mad? Why would I be mad?” He asked, swinging his legs over the side of the bed. 

“I want to go home,” she mumbled. “I can’t sleep here - it’s uh, the trains I think.” 

There was only one train, around 11:30. He always woke every time he heard the whistle blow so he knew it was more than just the trains. He suspected she probably missed her mom, a lot, and wasn’t willing to admit it. He didn’t push. “I’ll call your mom and we’ll get you back to your room. It’s okay, I understand.” 

“You’re not mad?” She asked. He could see her eyes shining with tears. 

“Not at all. Go pack your things and we’ll leave as soon as you’re ready,” he said gently. 

As much as he loved having her there he knew this would be really good for Brienne so he was okay with it. He slipped on pants and a hoodie and then dialed Brienne’s number. “What’s wrong?” She answered, sounding panicked.

“It’s fine. She’s fine,” Jaime said calmly. “But she can’t sleep and wants to come home.” 

“Oh,” Brienne said in surprise. “You don’t have to drive her home, I can come get her.” 

“I don’t mind at all. We’ll be there in a few minutes,” he replied, fighting off a yawn. 

When they got to the house Brienne was waiting at the door and let them inside. Honor came over to him and gave him an unexpected hug. “Thank you,” she mumbled sleepily against his chest. 

He hugged her back and without looking he already knew there was envy in Brienne’s eyes. Honor released him and started to walk away. He could almost hear Brienne’s heart breaking. But at the last second she stopped and leaned towards her mom. “Night mom,” she muttered, letting Brienne give her a hug and kiss on the top of the head before she continued on up the stairs to her room. 

“I’m so sorry,” Brienne said, turning to him once Honor was gone. 

“You don’t -“ He had to stop talking to yawn before he could finish. “Need to apologize.” He finished with another yawn. 

“You’re exhausted,” Brienne stated. “You shouldn’t be driving like that.” 

“It’s not far,” he got out, before a third yawn hit him.

“Just stay here,” she offered. “We have a spare room.”

“But, won’t it be weird if she wakes up and I’m here?” He asked. Honor had already accused him of staying the night and he wasn’t sure how she’d felt about that before she knew the truth. 

“I’m always up early. I’ll come and wake you and you can be gone before she’s even awake,” Brienne suggested. “So? Will you stay?”


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one took so long! I really hope it’s worth the wait ❤️❤️

Jaime agreed to stay and Brienne quickly made up the spare room for him. “I’ll wake you first thing,” she promised with a soft whisper, as she stood in the doorway. “Night.” 

He nodded and watched her disappear, shutting the door behind her. He had so many thoughts in his head, but he was actually quite exhausted and fell asleep in minutes. “Jaime, Jaime,” he heard, what felt like 10 minutes later. He opened his eyes and rolled over. “I slept in,” Brienne hissed. “She’s already up. I thought for sure she would sleep late and I would drive her to school on my way to work, but she’s getting ready right now.” 

“Uhhh,” he muttered, feeling the same panic Brienne was feeling. He really did not want Honor to find him there, but there was no way he could sneak out at that point. 

“Wait, are you - ?” She eyed his bare chest and blushed. 

Jaime flipped back the blankets to reveal his boxers, then gave her a sexy grin. “Sorry to disappoint,” he teased. They both needed the moment of lightness to calm down for a second and figure out a plan. 

“Fuck - your car is in the drive,” Brienne groaned. “Where are your keys? I’ll go move it into the garage and you hide out here until she’s on the bus - we might just survive this if I’m quick.” 

Jaime leaned over the side of the bed and reached for his pants on the floor, then quickly dug the keys out of the pocket. He tossed them to her. “Good luck,” he said with a yawn. 

When she left he thought about getting up and putting his clothes on, but the bed was so warm and comfortable that he found himself drifting off to sleep once again and didn’t fight it. He woke up a few minutes later and got up to use the en suite bathroom, making a mental note to include an en suite with every bedroom in his new house - it was a brilliant idea. He went pee and then used some mouthwash from the bottle he saw on the counter - it was better than nothing. He splashed some water on his face and washed up, then headed back out to the room. He eyed the clothes, but stepped over them and dove back into the warm bed. Next thing he knew he had drifted off again. A knock on the door woke him. “Come in,” he called out. 

The door opened and Brienne appeared. “Oh,” she said in surprise. “I thought you would be ready to go. I just moved your car back into the driveway.” She set his keys on the nightstand. 

Jaime shrugged. “I fell asleep. This bed is ridiculously comfortable.” 

She cocked her head to the side. “Is it? I don’t think I’ve ever tried it.” For the first time he actually noticed what she was wearing and his groin stirred. The top was spaghetti straps and the bottom was shorts, short shorts, that showed off her long legs. He wondered if she was wearing anything at all underneath? When she took a couple steps forward he knew for sure she wasn’t wearing anything under the top at least. He could see the outline of her nipples and her boobs jiggled when she walked. Jaime forced himself to look away so he didn’t end up making her feel uncomfortable with his ogling. “We should probably talk some before I leave anyway,” Jaime said. “Come sit.” 

She wandered over and perched on the side of the bed. Her eyes widened. “Oh wow, this mattress is comfortable,” she said in surprise. “It was one of those ones that come in a box. The delivery guy set it up and I’ve never actually laid down on it before.” 

“Well you can lay down while we talk,” he suggested, moving over a bit to make more room for her. She gave him a look, but fluffed the pillow behind her and laid down on her back beside him. “Well?” 

“I might ditch my mattress and order one of these for my room,” she said with a sigh, resting her hands on her stomach. 

“So?” Jaime asked. “Did we get away with it? Did she seem like she suspected anything?” 

“I wouldn’t know, she barely said two words to me,” Brienne replied bitterly. “It didn’t seem like she noticed anything though,” she added. “What are we going to do?” she whispered, her voice teeming with sadness. 

“I actually had a thought of something we could try for a few days until she comes around,” he replied. “I’m confident the cold shoulder she’s giving you is just temporary and she’ll be back to herself in no time.” Jaime turned on his side and studied her profile. “It’s clear she can’t spend the night at my place, not right now anyway. She’s just not ready and that’s okay. But she also doesn’t want to be here.” A tear slipped from the corner of her eye and he wanted to brush it away, but he couldn’t bring himself to touch her. It was too hard to stop himself once he made physical contact with her and they had things to talk about. “Anyway,” he said softly. “I thought maybe she could come to my place after school, have dinner and do her homework and then I can bring her here when it’s time for bed.” Brienne’s head snapped in his direction and it was clear she wasn’t a fan of the idea. “Hear me out,” he said quickly. “I will make it part of the deal that when I bring her home in the evening we all sit down at the table for a few minutes and have a civil conversation. She can tell you about her day and answer any questions you have. It might be a good way to break the ice and get her talking to you more naturally again.” 

Her face changed and she gave a little nod. “That actually doesn’t sound too bad. Half the time she’s too busy with her friends to tell me about her day anyway, so this might be good in more ways than one.” She nodded again. “Let’s do it. It’s worth a try I guess.” She was quiet for a minute and Jaime could feel her mood changing from a moment of hope, back to sadness and despair. “I miss her so much,” she whispered. “She’s all I’ve got.” He wanted to reassure her again that it wasn’t true, but he knew he really wasn’t in any position to do that, not in the way she needed right then. “How did you do it?” she asked suddenly. “I mean, you were so mad at me and now you seem - okay. Or maybe you’re just really good at hiding it?” 

“I just want what’s best for Honor,” he said truthfully. “And having parents who fight or don’t really like each other - it’s not good for a child. I don’t want her to grow up in a toxic environment like that, so if forgiving you is what it takes to make that happen, I’m willing to try.” 

“Try,” she repeated. “Does that mean it’s not working? Have you - forgiven me?” There was an innocence and insecurity in her voice that threw him every time he heard it. 

“I don’t know,” he said honestly. “I want to, and I’m certainly to the point that I can control it, but there’s always going to be that part of me that wonders what it would have been like to see Honor grow up, no matter how deep I try to bury it and focus on the future.” It was oddly easy for him to be completely honest with her in ways that he most often saved only for Tyrion. 

“I know it doesn’t matter how many times I say I’m sorry, it’s not going to change anything - but still, I’m sorry for what I did to you - but I’m not sorry that we were - together,” she added. “You gave me so much that night.” Jaime wanted her to explain more. Was she just talking about Honor or was it something else? “But you didn’t deserve the rest and I’ll never be able to make that up to you.” 

He was lost in thought, trying to come up with the right question to get the details he wanted, but he realized the best course of action was to just ask directly. “I can tell it’s not always easy for you to share your feelings,” he began. “But would you be willing to try?” He watched as her hands slipped from her stomach and came to rest on the bed at her sides. Jaime wasn’t sure if his question was to the point, but before he could elaborate she spoke. 

“Something happens when you touch me,” she whispered. She was still lying on her back, looking straight up, avoiding eye contact. “It happened back then and it still happens now. It’s like everything else disappears and for a moment I’m just - happy.” 

Her cheeks flushed with embarrassment. He didn’t want her to feel shy or bashful with him so he slid his hand slowly across the mattress until their fingers touched. “I understand,” he whispered back. He did understand because the very same thing happened to him. She made the world go away and took him right back to the last time he felt nothing but bliss. Jaime stroked her pinky finger as his heart started to beat faster. 

When she finally turned her head and looked at him he could barely breathe, but somehow he was able to speak. “Do you want to forget everything else for a moment?” He asked. She didn’t have to answer, her eyes told him everything he needed to know, silently begging for it. 

Jaime moved slowly, giving her plenty of time to stop him or change her mind if she wanted to. She trembled when his hand cupped her face, and again when he slid his thumb delicately over her bottom lip. Just like that, there was not a single thing left in his mind except her. How much he wanted to please her, the feel of her warm skin, her beautiful blue eyes that were just as lost in him. 

He shifted again and moved his lips to hers. When they touched a tiny whimper escaped her and the sound made his body start to hum. He kissed her gently, so tenderly, yet he could barely hold himself together. He found the restraint to hold back, taking things deeper one step at a time. When their tongues brushed she moaned, a heavy moan from somewhere deep inside. Everything felt so perfect, so right. He still knew her body like the back of his hand, every inch of her. He would never forget what made her sigh, what made her bite her lip and moan, and the things that caused her to dig her nails into his skin and bite back a scream. 

He moved his hand from her face to her hip and then shifted again and placed his palm against her flat belly, his fingertips brushing the waistband of her shorts. As he slowly inched his hand inside he moved his mouth to her neck and throat. He wanted to hear the sounds she made when he touched her and see if it was the same as he remembered. 

As he suspected there were no panties underneath to deal with, giving him lots of room to reach the treasure he was searching for. His middle finger touched her slit first and she sighed with the very first graze. He probed a little deeper and as soon as he opened her up he could feel her slick, warm lubrication all over his finger. When he added a second finger and pushed into her they both moaned at the same time. 

His dick was growing, aching and throbbing as it quickly doubled in size. He licked and sucked the soft skin above her collarbones, while he played with her pussy. He wanted to hear her whimper again and he knew exactly how to make it happen. He moved his dripping wet fingers to her clit and just barely grazed it. It was already hard and swollen and the light touch gave him exactly what he wanted, that sweet little whimper escaped from the back of her throat and made his already hard cock strain even more against his boxers. 

He could make her come. He knew he could. It would be so easy with how turned on she was, but he worried if he pushed her over the edge too fast he might draw out that shy side of her and it would all be over. So instead, he drew his hand out of her pants and moved his body between her legs. Jaime pushed up her shirt and dove for one of her perfect pink nipples, just as she dropped her knees and let him settle in between. While he sucked her one nipple and gently toyed with the other he slowly rubbed his erection right between her legs. “Oh god,” she gasped. 

Her hands were suddenly on his back and she started to writhe below him, moving with him as they grinded their bodies against one another. She gasped and threw her head back, offering up that slender neck. He took the bait and released her nipple, moving back to drag his tongue over her throat. 

“Jaime,” she said suddenly. He stopped and looked down at her. “What are we doing?” 

He knew the question wasn’t literal but he couldn’t help the little grin that appeared on his face. “I don’t know,” he finally answered. “But it feels really good.” 

She sighed and nodded in agreement. Then something caught her eye and her body went stiff. “Fuck shit, oh my God,” she gasped, pushing at him while she twisted out from under him. “I have a showing in 20 minutes.” 

Brienne scrambled off the bed and then stopped and looked back at him. “Catelyn will kill me if I mess this up,” she said apologetically. “I told her I was fine, I told her I didn’t need any time off.” 

“It’s okay. Go sell that house,” he said, flipping onto his back. He didn’t miss her eyes going directly to the massive bulge in his underwear. “I’ll see myself out and I’ll see you tonight when I bring Honor home.” 

“Thank you,” she replied, already running out of the room. Jaime laid his head on the pillow and groaned. He could still smell her scent and it certainly wasn’t helping his dick to go back down. 

With a sigh he jumped out of bed and started to pull on his clothes. He thought about what she’d asked earlier and wondered the same thing himself. What are we doing? There was already so much going on with Honor and he knew it was really not the time to start anything between the two of them. But how could something that felt so damn good be wrong? He rubbed his face and groaned one last time. So. Much. To. Think. About.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a bit long, with a bit of filler. I hope you guys still like it. I try really hard not to write total filler chapters so hopefully there are some moments you’ll enjoy. 
> 
> I plan to switch back to Brienne’s POV next chapter. With maybe a little hint of jealousy 😉

Jaime went home for a shower and then got dressed and headed to the office for only the second time since he’d arrived. He was getting used to just wearing jeans or joggers and t-shirt, so the tie and dress shirt was driving him nuts before he even got to the building. “Fuck it,” he said after parking in his designated spot - one of the best perks of being the boss. He pulled the tie off, undid his top button and let out a much more relaxed breath. He didn’t have any meetings planned, which meant he really didn’t need the tie or blazer so he left them both in the car. 

He strode into the building, acknowledged all the polite hellos and ass kissing from his faithful employees that had moved across the country to the new division, and headed right for Tyrion’s office. Jaime rapped on the door and let himself in before he was invited. “Oh,” Tyrion said in surprise. “I thought it was my Starbucks order arriving.” 

“Sorry to disappoint,” Jaime replied, walking to the nearest chair. He dropped into it with an overly dramatic sigh. 

“I’ll add something to the order for you? Sounds like you could use some caffeine,” Tyrion offered. Jaime nodded and waited while Tyrion added to the coffee order. 

“You know we do have coffee machines in the building,” Jaime said. 

Tyrion shrugged and but otherwise ignored his comment. “So, what’s going on?” He leaned forward looking eager. “Your life is way more interesting than mine these days.” 

“Well as you already know, we told Honor the truth and now she’s mad at her mother and wants to stay with me - only problem is, she can’t sleep at my place, likely because she misses the same mom she’s so mad at,” Jaime said. He continued with a little more detail about how the night before had gone. “So I drove her home in the middle of the night and slept in the guest room.” 

“Wait, wait, wait - what? You stayed at Brienne’s?” There was a very intrigued sparkle in Tyrion’s eye. 

“It’s not like that,” Jaime tried. “Well, maybe -” He muttered, thinking back to earlier that morning when Brienne had been in bed with him. “But we’re not talking about that right now,” he added. “I have to figure out how to be a dad and quickly - I’m picking her up after school and taking her to her snowboard lessons.” He told Tyrion the plan for the rest of the day and night. 

“I think you’ve come up with a really good plan of attack, as long as Honor gets on board with it. From my brief conversation with her -”

“The one where you called Cersei a bitch?” Jaime interrupted. 

“Am I wrong?” he laughed. Jaime smiled - he loved his sister, but it was an accurate statement. “Anyway, she seems very smart and level headed. She might be exacting some revenge, trying to hurt her mom because her mom hurt her - but I really think she’ll come around quickly - especially if you just talk to her and be honest about everything.” 

Jaime sighed again. Before he could speak there was a knock and their coffee arrived. Once Tyrion’s assistant left and the door was closed he spoke. “I don’t want Brienne to suffer too badly,” he said softly. 

“Didn’t take you long to forgive her,” Tyrion commented, his brows raised. There was a smug sound to his voice too. 

“I didn’t say I’ve forgiven her completely, I just - well - I guess I was taking some great advice I was given recently.” Jaime took a drink of the coffee and had to admit Starbucks was a damn good idea. 

“You need to relax,” Tyrion said, leaning back in his chair. “You’re doing everything right. You’re going to be an amazing father and Honor is going to love you. A few weeks down the road and you’ll think back and wonder what you were so worried about.” 

“I hope you’re right,” he said exhaling slowly as he started to feel a little more calm. Tyrion wasn’t just great with advice, he was also really good at making people feel better about the situation and themselves. 

“Of course I’m right, now - tell me about your sleepover. What’s going on with you two?” Tyrion had leaned forward again, eagerly awaiting his reply. 

“I don’t know,” Jaime shrugged. “It’s complicated.” 

“Don’t give me any of that ‘it’s complicated’ bullshit,” Tyrion drawled. “Of course it’s complicated, but have you boned her yet or what?” Jaime hesitated and noticed Tyrion was grinning. “You have, haven’t you?” 

“No, no,” Jaime shook his head. “I mean, we’ve kissed and fooled around a bit, but that’s all.” Tyrion groaned in frustration. “It’s just not a good time to start something,” he added. 

“Sounds like you’ve already started something,” Tyrion said, giving him an accusatory look. 

“Well kind of, but it needs to stop until we get things figured out with Honor. I don’t know how she would feel about her mother and I -” As he was talking about Brienne he had a flashback to the night Honor was conceived and lost track of what he was saying. “Yeah, uh, anyway -” 

“How did it feel?” Tyrion asked, ignoring all of his protests. 

“How did what feel?” Jaime asked. 

“You know exactly what I’m asking. Kissing her, touching her - how did it make you feel?” he asked. 

“Other than ridiculously horny?” Jaime laughed. “I don’t know - it felt really good. It was like - “ He thought for a moment. “Have you ever woken up from a really incredible dream and it was really disappointing, but then you fall back asleep and the dream continues?” Tyrion nodded. “It was like that.” He paused again. “But afterwards, I always feel a little guilty.” 

“Why? What’s there to be guilty about?” Tyrion asked. 

“Like I said before, not knowing how Honor would feel about us, and the fact that I haven’t completely forgiven Brienne -” His voice trailed off. 

“I think you have,” Tyrion piped up. “I think you’re just holding on to the idea that you haven’t forgiven her because you feel like it’s too soon or it makes you weak or maybe because Honor is mad at her you think you should be too.” It was quite ridiculous when Tyrion hit the nail on the head like that. 

“You should have been a shrink,” Jaime muttered. 

“I could be your shrink and you could pay me more,” he teased. 

Jaime rolled his eyes. “I pay you enough to be my shrink, run this company, and be my chauffeur too.” 

“Yeah, well I moved from sunny California to the side of a mountain for you, I deserve it,” Tyrion scoffed. 

They both chuckled for a moment and then Jaime got more serious. “Honestly though, we should wait, right?” 

“You’re asking the wrong man for advice about putting off sex,” Tyrion laughed. “I say go find her right now.” 

“I have work to do and she’s busy.” Jaime couldn’t help replying as if the idea had actually been a serious consideration. “You’re supposed to tell me to keep it in my pants and focus on being a dad.” 

“Well I’m never going to tell you to keep it in your pants, you know me better than that - but I’ll tell you to focus on being a dad because you’re going to love it. It’s amazing and you got a good one. Her mother did a great job raising her.” Jaime was already nodding along before Tyrion finished speaking. 

“Thanks for listening,” Jaime said, standing up, coffee in his hand. “I should head to my office and get something accomplished.” 

“You know I’ve got this right?” Tyrion said seriously. “You don’t need to be here. That’s why you hired me. You’ve got a lot on your plate right now and if you want a few days off, a couple weeks - it’s fine. We’ll survive and I’ll make sure everything is done on time and done better than it needs to be done.” 

“I know you do,” Jaime nodded. “I just need a distraction so the day doesn’t drag on.” Tyrion bobbed his head in response and Jaime left with a wave. He headed to his office, closed the door and sat down to work. He didn’t even get through 3 emails before his mind wandered to earlier that morning and his groin stirred in response. Everything had felt so good and he couldn’t help but wonder how far they would have gone if Brienne didn’t have to rush off to work? As much as his brain was telling him to slow down he didn’t have a lot of confidence that he could control himself if she was willing. He understood exactly what Brienne had meant when she said everything else goes away when they touch - it was just like that for him the first time they were together and no other woman had made him feel that way since. He kept waiting for it to happen again, but it never did. 

To prevent ending up with an awkward boner Jaime picked up the phone and called his intern into the room for a distraction. Podrick Payne was a bit on the shy and quiet side, but he was eager to learn and Jaime had a feeling the kid had a bright future. “Hi Pod, I’ve made a list of a few changes for the North Lodge design. Can you take a look and give it a try?” Jaime handed over a piece of paper. 

“You want me to actually make the changes, on the blue prints - the real ones?” He stammered, looking shocked. It was a fair response. Jaime was typically quite anal and perfectionistic and rarely let Pod touch the designs. 

“Yep, I’m sorry I haven’t been a great teacher so far, but you need the chance to try and the opportunity to make mistakes. That’s how we learn and grow,” Jaime replied. “So go ahead and make that list of modifications and then e-mail the update to me to look over. If there are any issues we’ll have a chat and you can try again.” 

Podrick grinned happily. “Thank you so much. I’ll get on it right away Sir.” 

“Pod, please stop calling me Sir - it makes me feel so old,” Jaime requested. 

“Yes Sir, I mean yes Mr. Lannister,” he stammered awkwardly. There was something very endearing about the kid’s social uneasiness. 

“Jaime is fine,” he said with an easy smile. He really wasn’t one for formalities. 

“Jaime,” Podrick nodded, backing out of the room with a nod and one of his awkward waves. 

Somehow Jaime made it through the day and kept his mind on work until it was time to go get Honor. Brienne had explained where to go to pick her up so he pulled up with the line of cars at the front of the school and got out to wander over where the other parents were waiting. He stopped to the left of a pretty woman with red curly hair and tried to ignore all the looks he was getting. 

The woman’s eyes were on him and finally she came over. “Hi, I’m Rosalyn Baelish, you can call me Ros,” she said, extending a hand. 

“Jaime,” he said politely, taking her hand to shake it. 

“I’m guessing you’re new in town?” She said, giving him a bright smile. 

“Yeah,” he nodded. “I’m just here to pick up Honor - Baratheon - uh, I’m -” Jaime paused and tried to come up with something quickly. He wasn’t sure if Honor was ready to tell people that he was her dad yet. “I’m an old friend of Honor’s mom,” he finished. “She’s at work, so I’m just helping out,” he lied. 

“Oh Honor is such a lovely girl,” Roz cooed. Jaime wasn’t sure what to make of this woman. She seemed genuine, but there was something that rubbed him the wrong way. He decided he was being silly and that she was just being friendly and kind. “So are you just here for a visit or sticking around?” 

“I’m building a house actually,” he replied, feeling flutters of excitement about the home he was building with some input from his daughter. 

“Oh that’s exciting,” she drawled, laying a hand on his arm. “Listen, I’m not sure if you and your wife have a designer, but -” SHe fished a card out of her purse. “I’m an interior decorator and I would love to help out if you need someone.” 

“I’m not married,” Jaime said quickly. He took the card. “Thanks,” he said, looking it over. “Maybe I’ll take you up on that,” he added, smiling back at her. 

“I’ll give you a good deal,” Roz said, giving him a wink. The bell rang and a few kids started coming out the front doors. “It was a pleasure to meet you Jaime,” she said. He could feel her eyes wandering his body and he reciprocated out of curiosity. She had a great body and by the tight, low cut clothing it was clear she enjoyed showing it off. “If you ever want to go for a drink - you have my number.” She turned and gave him a smile over her shoulder as she walked towards a girl that looked to be about Honor’s age. 

“It’s none of my business,” a voice said from behind him. “But - just be careful with that one.” 

Jaime turned around and saw a familiar woman behind him. It took him a moment, but he finally figured out who she was. “Catelyn Stark,” he said, snapping his fingers. He had met her very briefly at the office when he stopped by to find a rental. He’d also seen her face on more than a few property signs. 

She smiled. “You picking up Honor?” she asked, moving on quickly from her warning. 

Jaime nodded and glance over towards the front doors where he saw Honor coming out. He waved and his heart fluttered when she smiled and waved back. “Yeah,” he replied. He couldn’t lie and tell her Brienne was working because she would know better. “Uh - “ he stammered. 

“It’s okay, I know what’s going on,” she said with a friendly smile. “Enjoy your time together, she’s a pretty special kid.” Before Jaime could thank her she called out to a couple kids headed towards the busses. “Bran, Rickon -” Then turned back to Jaime. “It was nice to see you. Take care.” He said goodbye and she wandered off towards the boys while Honor jogged over to him. 

“Hey,” he said as she approached. “How was your day?” 

“Amazing,” she replied. What followed was a tornado of words that came out of her mouth so fast that he could barely keep up. “Oh and I got a text earlier - snowboarding is cancelled. My instructor has the flu.” 

“Oh that sucks,” Jaime replied as they got in the car and buckled up. “I was looking forward to watching you. You mom says you’re really good.” 

Honor sniffed and did a half eye roll at the mention of her mother, but quickly moved on. “So I was wondering if Ty and Lyanna could come over tonight? We have so much homework and I promised I would help them with Math - and Ty is going to edit my history paper.” 

Jaime made sure to hide his disappointment. He’d been looking forward to another afternoon with just the two of them to get to know each other better, but he also understood that she really needed to be surrounded by her friends and some normalcy with all the craziness in her life. “Of course,” he replied. “I can order pizza for dinner if they want to stay,” he offered. “I mean, I could cook something if you prefer, I know how to cook. I’m actually a pretty good cook.” 

She lightly tapped his knee in a gesture of comfort. “Pizza is great, thank you.” Suddenly she tapped his knee again, several times in succession. “Oh, oh, oh, look - there’s Ty right there, can we just pick him up now?” 

“Sure,” Jaime said, pulling over with a wave to his nephew. “Hey Bud,” he said, when Ty got in the car. “Make sure your dad knows you’re with me, okay? I’ll drop you off tonight.” The rest of the ride he listened to the two of them talk about things he didn’t understand, but it was still nice to just listen to two pretty amazing kids that he adored getting along so well. 

When they got to the house Jaime wondered when and how he was going to get a chance to talk to Honor about the plan. “Hey Ty, can you head in? I just need to talk to Honor for a second first.” He handed his nephew the key and Ty jumped out. 

“What’s wrong now?” she asked, looking nervous. 

“Nothing is wrong,” he said quickly. “Your mom and I talked this morning and I came up with a plan that she agreed to, but we also need you to agree as well,” he started. “I know you don’t want to be around her right now and I also know you don’t want to sleep here -” 

“I want to,” she interrupted. “I just - I can’t,” she said sadly. “I’m so sorry.” 

“It’s fine, you know that,” Jaime said softly. “So the idea I had was that you can come here after school and on weekends too if you want, but I’ll drive you home at bed time so you can sleep at your house, does that sound okay?” 

“That would be amazing,” she replied, sounding relieved and looking very grateful. 

“There’s just one condition,” Jaime warned. “When we get to your place we’re all going to sit down and talk - you, me, and your mom.” The frown on her face was immediate. “It doesn’t have to be long, 10 or 15 minutes to start. It’s not fair to shut her out completely and I think this will be good for both of you - for all of us. What do you think?” 

“Do I have a choice?” Honor sniffed. 

“No,” Jaime replied honestly. “You really don’t.” 

“Then fine, whatever,” she said, crossing her arms. 

Jaime lightly touched her shoulder. “She loves you so much.” 

Honor glanced over at him and then away and then back at him again. “Can I tell you something? But you have to promise you won’t tell her okay?” Jaime nodded in agreement. “I’m so mad at her, but I miss her so bad and that makes me even more mad because it’s all her fault. This is hard and it sucks and I just want my mom, but I don’t know what to do when the one who always makes it better is the one who caused my pain.” 

“You have to find a way to trust her again,” Jaime said softly. His heart was aching and he’d never experience such deep empathy for another person before. 

“But she lied, how can I ever trust her again?” Honor asked, her eyes welling with tears. 

Jaime reached for her hand and she let him hold it. “The two of you will figure it out if you’re willing to try. It won’t be easy and it’s going to take time, but you’ll get there - I promise.” 

A tear rolled down her cheek. “My mom always says ‘don’t make a promise you can’t keep,’” she said with a sniffle. 

Jaime brushed the tear away and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. It was surprising how natural it felt to make intimate gestures of caring and concern, as if it was just an innate thing that came with being a parent. “Well, that’s one thing you need to know about me,” he said gently. “I never make promises I can’t keep.” 

Honor smiled back at him and they shared a moment of quiet understanding. She reached for the door handle and then paused. “I need you to make me a promise right now,” she said. 

“Anything,” Jaime replied, expecting something completely different than what she requested. 

“Promise you’ll stay away from Mrs. Baelish,” she asked, looking completely disgusted. 

He hadn’t even realized Honor had seen him talking to Ros earlier. “I promise,” he laughed. As they got out of the car he thought about Catelyn’s warning and now Honor’s request. It made a small part of him want to know more about Rosalyn Baelish and her - reputation, so he made a mental note to ask Brienne about her that night after Honor went to bed.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can’t thank you enough for the comments and kudos and general enthusiasm. It really inspires me and I get so excited each time I update to see what you guys think. I hope you enjoy 😘😘😘

“Hey, can I have a word?” Brienne looked up to see her boss poking her head into her office. 

Her stomach rolled nervously. She knew she hadn’t been on her game lately but she was really trying hard to focus while she was at work and Brienne thought she’d been covering well. “Yes of course, come in,” she replied. Brienne glanced at the clock. It was past the bell so Jaime should have already picked up Honor and Catelyn would have already picked up her boys. She resisted the urge to ask if Cat had seen him there. 

As it turned out, she didn’t even have to ask. Catelyn shut the door behind her. “So I saw Jaime at the school picking up Honor,” she started. There was some hesitation in her voice that made Brienne anxious about what was to come next. “He was talking to Ros Baelish,” she finished. 

“Of course he was,” Brienne muttered. “Fresh meat for her,” she drawled. “How did they seem?” She asked casually, as if it meant nothing. 

“Well, she was heavily flirting with him, but I get the sense he was oblivious and was just being polite,” Cat replied. Brienne could tell she was trying to soften the blow and was annoyed that she hadn’t been able to hide her true motives for asking, even for a second. 

“Are you sure?” Brienne asked, way too eagerly. “I mean, she’s not the kind of woman I want around if Honor is going to be spending time with Jaime.” Deep down she was seething with jealousy, but she fought it because she didn’t have any right to be jealous. It wasn’t like her and Jaime were a couple like Ned and Catelyn were when Ros tried to pick him up. She claimed later that she was drunk and apologized profusely to Cat for the whole incident, but there was so much past drama between them that her apologies fell on deaf ears. 

Ros was married to Petyr Baelish who had been in love with Catelyn since they were kids. Everyone assumed he’d moved on but somehow Ros found out the truth and came after Catelyn who had no idea how Petyr felt. Eventually Ros divorced him and since then she’d developed a reputation for hitting on men, presumably sleeping with them too, with no regards to their relationship status. Obviously it was a two way street and the men were as much to blame if they went through with it, but she’d already broken up two couples over the past few years and earned the nickname Homewrecker Ros (HR). 

There was a time Brienne had felt sorry for the woman, when she first moved to town and didn’t really know anyone well, but once she saw it for her own eyes, she just couldn’t condone that type of behavior. Ros was hated by some, feared by others, but was always the butt of the jokes at any party. Yet she continued on, holding her head up high as if she was as wholesome as anyone. Brienne couldn’t help but envy that type of confidence, though she would never admit it to anyone. 

“I can’t say I blame you and I understand the predicament,” Cat said with a sigh. “Seems like I’m going to have to deal with HR more than I would like if things keep progressing.” 

“What do you mean?” Brienne asked in confusion. 

“You remember the boy Ros and Petyr adopted?” She asked. 

Brienne smiled. “Yeah, Gendry right?” Cat nodded. “I’m pretty sure Honor had a huge crush on him, maybe still does.” He was a very handsome boy, but not only that, he was kind and polite. If Ros and Petyr had done anything right in their lives it was raising Gendry. He really was a good kid. 

“Well, he’s been hanging around my house a lot the past few weeks. Before Sansa and Theon started dating I was sure the two of them were going to end up together, but it turns out Sansa isn’t the daughter he has his eye on,” Cat explained. 

“Arya?” Brienne gasped. “How do you feel about that?” She knew there was a bit of an age difference between the teens. 

“I don’t know,” she sighed. “I hate that my daughter is dating Ros’ son, but he’s a really nice boy, so respectful and genuine. But he’s also a senior and Arya is a freshman, so there’s that. If he goes away to school next year I really don’t know if I want my sophomore daughter dating a college boy. But who knows if they will last that long anyway.” 

“What a mess,” Brienne commented. It may have been a horrible and selfish thought, but it was actually a bit of a relief to know that other families had serious drama to deal with as well. Perhaps nowhere near the same level of insanity she was currently engulfed in, but to know the Starks of all people, had their own challenges made her feel better about her own. 

“Anyway,” Catelyn said, standing up. “I just wanted to let you know about Jaime. I may have given him a little warning,” she added with a smile. 

“Thank you,” Brienne replied. She was grateful for many reasons that Cat had made a point of intervening, but she pretended it was all about Honor. “I just really wouldn’t like the idea of her being around Honor at such an impressionable age.” Cat gave her a little smirk and Brienne knew she was wise and perceptive, but she didn’t call her out. 

“Honor is smart and strong willed, she would be fine - but I understand your concern,” Cat said gently, a knowing smile on her lips. “I hope everything works out and if you need anything - don’t hesitate.” 

Brienne thanked her and Cat left. She knew it was the truth - if she needed help at all Cat would be there for her. That’s just the type of people the Starks were - loyal to the core, and she was thankful they were a part of her life. She finished up her paperwork and started to pack up for the day - slowly. There was nothing to rush home to. It would be hours before Jaime brought Honor back. 

She wondered what they were doing right then? Judging from the time Honor should have been at her snowboard lessons. Could Jaime see how talented she was? Brienne wondered if he had any concept of the level of their daughter’s skill or if he would just be incredibly proud of her because that was his baby girl? Did he feel that way yet? Did he feel the attachment and bond of being a parent? Her stomach twisted at the realization that she had taken that from him, which made her desperately hope it was innate and instant for Jaime. 

Brienne forced herself to wait until she was alone in her car driving home before she let her mind wander to that morning. She’d avoided thinking about it all day because once she went down that path she knew her body was going to react to the memory of his touch and she certainly didn’t want to show a house or sit around the office all horned up. 

Sure enough, she felt her groin stir the second she thought about him kissing her, touching her breasts and of course slipping his hand inside her shorts. She’d panicked. Completely panicked. It wasn’t a lie that she needed to get to work, but she’d felt instantly relieved when she ran out of the room. The relief didn’t last long though, because by the time she was dressed all she wanted was to run back into that room hoping he was still there so they could finish what they started. 

What did it all mean though? Was it just nostalgia? Did being around her bring back memories of the past and the urge in him to relive that night one more time? Is that what it would be? One more time? Or was it something more? Brienne couldn’t deny that she was attracted to him, but she couldn’t untangle her thoughts enough to decide if she was attracted to the man in front of her or the Jaime from the past that haunted her dreams so many nights. 

Then there was the fact that they had a bigger situation to deal with than their love life, because they had a child who needed them both - even if she wanted little to do with her mother right then. Was it right, or fair, to start anything with Jaime when one wrong turn could end up in disaster that would impact the rest of their lives? 

Brienne pulled in the driveway, surprised she was home already when she could hardly remember getting there. If only the rest of the afternoon was pass this quickly, she thought. It didn’t. It dragged on, second by second, minute by minute, and hour by hour - until finally around 9pm she heard them come in the front door. She jumped up from the kitchen table and then calmed herself for a minute - she didn’t want to appear too eager and embarrass herself, but at the same time she needed Honor to know that this wasn’t easy for her at all. 

“Hi,” she said brightly as they came into the kitchen. Jaime replied but had to give Honor a nudge before she gave a begrudged ‘hello.’ “Does anyone want a drink before we sit down to talk?” she asked. 

Jaime shook his head but Honor spoke up. “I would actually just like to get this over with if we could, please?” 

“Sure, of course,” Brienne replied. She’d never felt so nervous around her own child and it was the worst feeling ever, especially when she could see the calm and easy way that Honor acted with Jaime in such a short amount of time. It was a good thing, she knew that, but she was envious and that hurt. 

They all sat down at the kitchen table and Honor pulled out her phone. “Hey Siri, set timer for 15 minutes,” she said and the phone responded, setting a timer. 

“Well, okay,” Brienne muttered, thrown off by Honor’s obvious desire to not spend a second more with her than she had to. “So how was school?” she asked. 

“Fine.” One word. One single word from a child who would normally keep talking to the point Brienne would sometimes have to tune her out for a moment of peace.

“Uh, what about snowboard lessons? Did you show off for Jaime?” she teased. 

“Ygritte has the flu so she had to cancel tonight,” Honor replied. Well, it’s better than one word, she thought. 

“Oh that’s too bad, hopefully she feels better soon,” Brienne replied. Ygritte was an Olympic medalist snowboarder and she’d taken Honor under her wing about a year ago. She did private lessons at the indoor training facility and she’d even invited Honor to come watch one of her big events the winter before and get a real inside look at what it’s like to be a world class snowboarder. “So did the two of you do something fun?” She asked. 

Jaime gave Honor a minute to reply but when she didn’t he spoke up. “Actually Honor had some friends over to do homework and we had pizza for dinner. My nephew,” he clarified. “And I got the pleasure of meeting the enigmatic Lyanna Mormont. And she scares me,” he admitted with a laugh. 

Honor actually cracked a smile and it looked like she was going to add something but quickly clammed up. “She’s quite the character,” Brienne said. “So, uh, what homework were you working on? Is there anything you need me to check over?” 

“Jaime already did,” Honor said, staring at something on the wall across the room. 

“It was math,” he offered. “It looked correct to me, but if you want to check it out -“ 

“It’s fine,” Honor interrupted. “We don’t have to hand it in or anything anyway.” 

For the last 8 and a half minutes Brienne tried everything she could to get more than a few words, but by the time the timer went off and put her out of her misery she was actually grateful. She would have to figure out a better plan of attack for the next day. 

Honor stood up. “Night Jaime.” She went to turn and he cleared his throat and gave her a look. “Goodnight mom,” she added. He jerked his head and Honor came over and gave Brienne a hug. She lingered slightly and Brienne took it as a win. It felt good to hold her, even just for a few seconds. But that slight hesitation gave her a lot of hope. 

“That went well,” Brienne drawled sarcastically once Honor was gone. 

“I know it didn’t feel like it to you, but I think that actually went well for the first time,” he said optimistically. “She didn’t full out refuse and even though she didn’t say much at least she answered.” 

“What did you bribe her with?” Brienne asked, raising her eyebrows. 

He looked for a moment like he was going to pretend he hadn’t but quickly realized he was busted. “You’re good,” Jaime said with an apologetic smile. “I promised her a frosty, the biggest size she wants.” 

“Ice cream? Really? That’s all it took?” She shook her head as he nodded. “Well, thank you for trying to make it better in any way you could think of.” Brienne got up and walked to the fridge and then returned with two beers. She offered him one and he took it. “Cheers,” she said, twisting off the lid. They clinked bottles and she sat back down. 

“So, what’s the deal with this Ros lady?” He asked suddenly. It sounded like he was dying to know. “She came up and talked to me at the school. Seemed nice enough, but both your boss and Honor gave me warnings about her.” 

Brienne was surprised that Honor had said something. She swelled a little with pride. “Hmm how should I put this?” She started. “Have you heard the expression - she’s like the town bicycle?” 

Jaime laughed. “Everyone’s had a ride?” 

She nodded. “I’m not the gossipy type and I don’t like trashing other women, but I saw with my own eyes what she’s like.” He looked curious. “There was a young couple in the booth behind me at the pub and the woman went to the bathroom. The second she was gone Ros came right over and propositioned him. She wasn’t subtle about what she wanted and she was very persistent too. Worked on him until she saw the girlfriend coming back, but lingered just long enough to end up causing a fight between the couple too.” Brienne paused. “I also know she went after Catelyn’s husband Ned too.” 

“Wow,” he commented. “So you wouldn’t recommend her as an interior decorator then?” He joked. 

“I’m sure she knows how to decorate the bedroom. She’s seen enough of them.” It was an awful thing to say, but it made Jaime laugh and his laugh made her feel really good. 

They quietly had a few sips of beer and Jaime changed the subject again. “So about this morning -“ His voice trailed off. She immediately felt that stirring inside, low in her belly. “If I was too forward or went too far -“ 

Brienne shook her head. “No, not at all. If I don’t want something I’ll make it very clear.” 

“Oh, okay, good.” There was an awkward silence. “So, uh, what does it mean?” He asked. 

“I don’t know,” she replied truthfully. “I mean, we shouldn’t, right? Not right now with everything going on.” There was a clear understanding between them, even with few words. 

“Yeah, I was thinking the same thing.” His words were disappointing and cut like a knife, even though he was merely agreeing with what she already put out there. She watched him drink the last sip of his beer. “Well, thank you for the drink. I, uh, guess I should be on my way.” 

Brienne stood and walked him to the front door. She opened it for him and he stopped right in front of her. His presence in her personal space made it hard to breathe, but it also made her body start to tingle. She closed her eyes, afraid to look at him for so many reasons, scared of both what she might and what she might not see. 

She felt him move even closer until their foreheads were touching. Her ability to breathe decreased even further. “I want to kiss you so bad,” he whispered. 

Brienne squeezed her eyes even tighter, fighting back the tears that were threatening. “I want that too,” she whispered back. “But we can’t,” she added, laying a hand on his chest right over his heart. It was pounding, just like hers. 

“What if we could? What if we did?” He asked. “Hypothetically - we just couldn’t tell her about it right? It would have to be a secret for now.” 

“Hypothetically - I would agree with you on that,” Brienne said softly. Her body and mind were battling over whether her heart should be breaking because he was leaving or she should be excited about the possibility of his hypotheticals. “Night Jaime,” she added, putting a little pressure on his chest, pushing herself away. 

He covered her hand with his and then held it. She opened her eyes as he started backing away, still holding her hand. “See you tomorrow night,” he said, keeping hold of her hand as long as he could until it was just their fingertips touching and then finally nothing. 

“Tomorrow night,” she echoed, watching him leave with her hand still outstretched and the feel of his touch lingering on the tips of her fingers.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all enjoy this one. I think everyone could use a little levity, no matter what you have going on in your life right now. 😘

For the next three nights the routine was very similar. Jaime would bring Honor home at bedtime, they would chat in the kitchen for 15 minutes and then Honor would go to bed and Jaime would leave. He always left quickly before either of them got any ideas and Brienne said goodbye from her seat at the kitchen table. Following him to the door was just too hard. 

The only bit of solace was that her chats with Honor seemed to be improving quite a bit. She was getting full sentence answers as opposed to single words, and the night before Honor had even shared a story about something funny that happened at school. Things certainly weren’t the same, but there was improvement and that was all she was hoping for. 

Brienne was just getting ready for work Friday morning when her phone rang. She picked it up with a smile. “Hey Loras, how are you?” She knew that her relationship with the man her husband had been sleeping with while they were still married was a strange one. Obviously it hadn’t always been as positive as it was currently, but when she came to the realization that her divorce from Renly was about his sexuality, not his relationship with Loras things began to change. 

Loras treated Honor very well and was an amazing stepdad to her. Brienne knew it had been extremely devastating for him when Renly died, not only losing his partner but also the little girl he’d grown to love. She also knew that Honor missed him too, which was why she allowed them to spend time together every few weeks. It had been close to a month since they’d been out for their usual dinner and movie night so it was no surprise to find out the reason he was calling. 

“Hey, I’m doing great. Just got home from New York yesterday.” Loras travelled a lot for work. He’d taken a new position after Renly died and it had helped him to keep busy and get away from the memories. “I was wondering about taking Honor out tonight, but you never called me back to let me know what was going on last week.” 

“Shit, I’m so sorry,” she groaned. The truth was, she’d been really nervous about telling Loras the truth about her past after the way she’d treated him early on and some of the things she’d said in anger. “I’m actually really embarrassed to tell you everything,” Brienne admitted. There was no sense in hiding it. 

“I’m the last person who’s going to judge you,” he said softly. “If you’re not comfortable telling me though, I understand.” 

“No,” she sighed. “You’ll find out eventually. In fact, I’m sure Honor will just tell you everything if I don’t.” She somehow managed to get through everything without shedding a tear which made her feel a bit guilty, but thankful since she did have clients to see in less than an hour. “Go ahead,” she finished. “I’m ready.” She had already prepared herself for an onslaught once he knew the truth. 

“Wow,” Loras muttered. There was a moment of silence as he gathered his thoughts. “Listen, I know you pretty well and I’m almost positive that there is not a single thing I could say that would make you feel worse than the punishment you’re already putting on yourself - the guilt must have weighed you down for years and you had to bear that alone. The only thing I’ll say is that I’m glad this all came out after Renly’s death. It would have destroyed him to know that Honor wasn’t his.” 

“I know,” she whispered. “I can’t imagine - I’m so sorry,” she muttered. 

“So what’s this Jaime guy like? Is he hot?” Loras asked, lightening the mood. 

Brienne laughed, thankful for the quick switch. “Hot and straight - very straight.” 

“Single?” He prodded. 

“Yes but -” Brienne replied quickly. “He’s not - I mean we’re not -” 

“But you want to don’t you?” He interrupted. “This man shows up from your past, he’s Honor’s biological father, he’s single - what’s the problem?” 

“I don’t know how Honor would feel about that and things are still so tense -” She tried. 

“Stop,” he said gently. “Honor is the child and you’re the parent, you and Jaime. It’s not her decision - it’s yours. Is she safe? Is she healthy? Are you doing the best you can to be an amazing mother?” 

“Of course, you know I am,” she sighed. 

“Then you should allow yourself to be happy,” Loras finished. “It might work out, it might not, but you’ll all get through it together - either way.” She had to admit it felt good to have someone else give her permission to just be happy. “Take some time, think about it, wait a little longer if you think that’s best - but don’t make excuses or throw away your chance to fall in love because you’re scared.” 

“I’m not scared,” Brienne shot back, but at the same time the denial was coming out of her mouth she was realizing that it was accurate - she was scared to be with Jaime. But it wasn’t just Jaime - she was scared to be with anyone. She was terrified to get her heart broken again. How had it taken a conversation with Loras of all people to make her see that? The realization had knocked the wind out of her and she could barely breathe. 

“Whether you are willing to admit it or not - you are,” Loras continued. “I understand - I’ve been there myself. I know it’s not the same, but if you ever want to talk about it I’m here.” 

Brienne hadn’t imagined this particular conversation going this way at all and she was in a state of shock. “Thank you,” she got out. 

“Of course,” he replied. “So I’ll pick Honor up from school as usual and have her home around 9, 930. Is that okay?” 

“Yes, for sure.” The shift in conversation allowed her to find her voice again. “I’ll call the school and let them know you’re picking her up and I’ll text Honor so she knows to expect you instead of Jaime.” 

“Is he going to be okay with the change?” Loras asked. 

“He’s pretty easy going and I’m sure he’ll be happy to have an evening to himself,” she replied. Jaime hadn’t complained one bit, but she couldn’t imagine going from a bachelor life to having a child in your space every single afternoon was an easy change. 

She said goodbye to Loras and immediately called the school. Then she texted Honor and Jaime. She probably should have called him, but she was going to be late for work if she didn’t get moving and she didn’t know if he would be busy at the office. She ignored the voice in her head that was telling her she was just too chicken to call him after her little life altering discovery. 

Honor’s reply was a simple ‘Yay’ but at least she responded. It took a while longer for Jaime to reply, which she decided meant that he’d been busy so it was good she didn’t call. She read the text - It’s going to be strange having a quiet house, but I know she’ll be excited. She told me all about the amazing Loras the other day. Thanks for letting me know. 

“That went well,” she muttered out loud as she headed to her car. Surprising her trend of things going well continued through the day. She closed the huge sale she’d almost blown a few days earlier and also sold another smaller property. Cat was extremely pleased and it always felt good to earn a little more respect from the boss. The sizeable commission didn’t hurt either. She wasn’t struggling for money by any means, but it was a pretty big job perk to add such a large bonus to her paycheck. 

She decided to celebrate by treating herself to a pricey bottle of wine and a nice steak for dinner. It was a bit disappointing to have no one to share it with, but she didn’t wallow for too long. Instead she enjoyed the BBQ’d steak and a glass of wine, then poured herself another and went to the living room to distract herself with something good on television. Halfway into her third episode of Sex and the City the doorbell rang. 

She got up and wandered to the door wondering who it could be. Her heart fluttered as she got closer and could see through the side window that it was Jaime. She opened the door. “Hi,” she said, giving him a curious look. She had momentarily forgotten about her conversation with Loras earlier, but it was all flooding back while she stood there staring at the sexiest man in the world as far as she was concerned. Was it really just an excuse they way she believed she was putting Honor first? Was it really putting Honor first to fight the way they felt about each other? It was so hard to get inside her daughter’s head and try to figure out how she would feel. She’d always been so good at reading her daughter, but lately, whether it was her own guilt and insecurity or Honor getting older, there were days she couldn’t figure her out at all. 

“Hi. Sorry to bother you,” he said, holding something out. “Honor left this and I thought I should bring it by in case she needed it.” 

Brienne reached out and took the hoodie from him. “Oh, you didn’t have to do that - she has tons of others.” 

Jaime stuck his hands in his pocket and gave her a boyish shrug, followed by a sheepish smile. “Okay, the truth is - it’s way too quiet at my place and I’m not used to it already. I don’t know how you’ve managed -” His voice trailed off and he gave her an apologetic look. “Anyway, Tyrion and Shae are having a date night and I don’t really know anyone else yet - “ 

Brienne licked her lips nervously. “Did you want to come in?” She asked. It was dangerous territory - very dangerous. Her body was on high alert in so many ways. The house was empty - it would be the first time in a long time that they would be totally alone. 

“Sure,” he replied, looking much more relaxed all of a sudden. She couldn’t figure out how the same thing that was easing his nerves was making her anxiety go through the roof. Don’t be scared, a voice whispered inside her head. It sounded so easy - just don’t be scared - nothing to it. If only she could figure out how to do that? 

It wasn’t until she lifted her gaze and met his eye that she figured it out. The calming effect of looking into his eyes was instant and powerful. In that moment she knew that the only way to get over her fear was to trust him. She’d hurt him, very badly, but she knew in her gut that Jaime would never do the same to her - if for no other reason than he knew how it felt, although she believed it was more about the kind of man he was at his core. 

“Come in,” she whispered, giving him a soft smile. She opened the door wider to let him inside, but before she could step aside he was already moving past her so their bodies grazed. Brienne gasped and closed her eyes as a jolt of electricity coursed through her body and goosebumps raised up on her skin. 

She blindly closed the door behind her, keeping her eyes shut. Before she opened them she could already feel his presence. He smelled so good and she inhaled his scent deeply. The nerves returned now that she was no longer receiving the comfort of his gaze and she took a step backwards, bumping into the door. There was nowhere to go and she was fighting an eternal battle as to whether she was happy or scared about that. 

“Brienne?” The sound of his voice made her head spin, but she still couldn’t decide if she was reeling with elation or terror. “Look at me,” he whispered, as his fingertips grazed her arm. She slowly opened her eyes and her heart rate sped up. His calm aura washed over her and the fear disappeared once again. Jaime didn’t speak again, but he asked permission with his eyes and she understood. The sexual tension was thick and heavy - there was only one way to get rid of it. Slowly she nodded and Jaime raised his hand from her arm to her cheek. He touched her bottom lip with his thumb as his eyes dropped to follow the path. “Are you sure?” he breathed, inching closer. 

“Mmm hmm,” she muttered. 

Jaime stopped barely an inch from her lips. “Positive?” 

“Mmm hmm,” she mumbled again, as the craving for him grew stronger. 

“Absolutely, positively, sure?” If he wasn’t so damn adorable she would have strangled him. 

“Kiss me Lannister,” she breathed. Nothing had felt this right in a long, long time. He brushed her lips lightly and then drew back and looked into her eyes. It was exactly what she needed to let go completely. When he moved in again she finally allowed herself to kiss a man with no fear in her heart and it was magical.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don’t hate me, pleaseeeeee (I’m batting my eyelashes sweetly) but I decided instead of one really long smutty chapter I would make it into two, maybe even three, normal length chapters so I can give this moment all the attention and details it deserves. So don’t freak out at the end of this one, it will be fine, he won’t get cockblocked I promise. 
> 
> A few expressed that they would prefer Jaime’s POV which was where I was leaning anyway, so I went with it. I’ll likely do the next from his POV as well and then maybe give Brienne a turn 😂 
> 
> Hope you guys enjoy. I really wanted to capture the intensity of his feelings for her so I hope I was able to do that for you 😘

When he made the conscious decision to drive to her house and press that doorbell he’d also told himself that he wasn’t there for anything but her company. It was crazy how lonely it was after spending a week of afternoons and evenings with Honor. She was special and her personality filled the house, so it was obvious and very empty when her presence was lacking. He had so much empathy for what Brienne was going through and he knew he had to figure out a way to give her back the warmth and comfort of the perfect little human they had created. Jaime knew he couldn’t force it, but now that he had a taste of what she was going through he was determined to expedite the process, even if it was a self sacrificing act that would lead to more lonely nights for him. 

He’d brought the hoodie as an excuse, even though he knew it was obvious and she would see through it right away. It just felt like a good ice breaker, even if he ended up looking foolish. It was clear Brienne recognized what he was doing the second he handed over the shirt, but she never made him feel like an idiot. There was a hint of something in her eyes that he chose to interpret as her thinking it was actually sweet that he’d found some excuse to come and see her. 

There was something different in the way she was looking at him, but he wasn’t quite sure what to make of it at first. It took him some time, but he finally figured it out once he was inside and she was backed up against the front door. Looking at him was giving her something she needed, whether it was confidence or courage, or some other type of inspiration, he wasn’t sure. The only thing he knew was that every time she looked away her defences rose up, but when she met his eyes her face filled with comfort and the excitement of so much possibility. 

As he’d walked into her home he reminded himself he was only there to talk, but their bodies touched and the instant warmth he felt was impossible to ignore. The second he turned around he knew she was feeling it too. It shouldn’t have been a surprise, Jaime was well aware they were both fighting some pretty intense desires. Her eyes were closed and he could see the struggle on her face. He took a step closer to her and watched her take a deep breath, followed by a step backwards, bumping against the door. 

Jaime closed the gap again, his eyes never leaving her face. He could actually feel the panic radiating from her body and he almost took a step back but instead he spoke her name. “Brienne?” Then reached out his hand to touch her arm. His knees felt weak as he lightly grazed her skin and he wondered how this woman could have such an impact on him. “Look at me,” he added softly. 

When her eyes fluttered open his heart soared with happiness and he felt a calmness wash over him. The panic he’d seen on her face wasn’t there, not at all. I want to kiss you, he thought, as he stared into her eyes begging her to understand without him having to say the words. When Brienne nodded her head he actually wondered for a brief moment if he had spoken outloud, but soon realized that they were just that connected and in tune with each other’s thoughts and desires. 

Jaime lifted his hand from her arm to her cheek - her soft, beautiful cheek. He cupped it and felt that heat inside his body start to build as if he’d just put fresh kindling on a smouldering fire. He moved his thumb to her bottom lip and his eyes shifted to her mouth. He moved a little closer and his body started to hum. Before he made it to her lips he stopped. He had to ask. “Are you sure?” She confirmed she was with a mumble and his heart responded with a thud of excitement. He moved even closer to the point he could feel her warm breath on his lips. “Positive?” he asked. She mumbled another confirmation. That was all he needed, but he could tell she was getting a little frustrated and desperate so he couldn’t resist teasing her once more. “Absolutely, positively, sure?” 

Her response was breathy, but confident and demanding. “Kiss me Lannister.” There was something so sexy about her using his last name like that and his groin really liked the whole erotic vibe she was giving off. He closed the gap and kissed her lightly, leaving a tingly sensation on his own lips. Jaime drew back and looked into her eyes once again. The second their gaze locked he could feel the air between them change. It was still filled with unresolved sexual tension, but there was also a calm that had washed over her that in some strange way actually heightened the edginess and the need to break it. 

When he kissed her again everything exploded. There was such satisfaction in finally getting what you’ve wanted for so long, but there was also something about the anticipation that was quite incredible. Jaime certainly had the feeling that for the first time there was nothing in their way. The desire was mutual, she seemed to have let go of the idea that they needed to hold back, and they were all alone. His mind and body was buzzing with the possibility that for the first time in over a decade he would finally make love to the woman that had been lurking in the back of his mind since the moment he realized she was gone. 

Jaime attacked her mouth eagerly - maybe a bit too desperately, but he felt like he just couldn’t get enough of her. Thankfully her response was everything he could have hoped for and more. She was ready and willing to let him in and Jaime could taste the sweet wine she’d been drinking as soon as their tongues touched. There were flutters inside his body in places he’d never experienced that feeling before, even with her. This was new territory. This was the ghost that had haunted him and it was also the mother of his child. 

There was still a hint of anger and a tinge of pain, but it only made him want her more. Being intimate with her, sharing their hearts, souls and bodies - maybe that was exactly what he needed to finally just let it all go. As much as he wanted to only look forward, it was hard not to look back because of what they had shared. All he wanted was to be able to look in all directions with nothing but happiness. 

Jaime presses his body into her, pinning her against the door, but it wasn’t enough. He wanted to hold her in his arms and pull her against him. He wanted to feel her holding him too, tightly, desperately, like she never wanted to let go. He pulled her away from the door and into his arms, then dipped his head and moved his mouth to her neck. Her skin tasted sweet on his tongue and it made him think of another place he would love to taste. 

She moaned and clung to him, just the way he’d hoped she would. There was a rawness to her embrace that was begging him not to stop. She didn’t even seem to care that he was very likely leaving marks on her delicate neck in the spots he eagerly sucked. 

His hands found her ass and for the first time he actually took stock of what she was wearing. Yoga crops and a baggy sweater. The sweater needed to go. He wanted to feel her tits rubbing against his chest and there was too much material in the way. He stopped kissing her neck and reached for the zipper on her sweater. He pulled it down and shoved it off to reveal a plain white, spaghetti strap camesole underneath. It was thin and tight, allowing him to see the outline of her nipples. The groan that came out of him was feral and he reached out to pinch a nipple through the camisole, groaning again as it puckered and stiffened between his fingers. He was so turned on by that point that he had to adjust himself to get some relief from the strain. 

Before he could move back in to hold her again and finally feel those tits rubbing all over his chest, she reached out and shoved the light jacket he was wearing off. She also tugged at his t-shirt until the two of them managed to get it over his head and off as well. Jaime smiled. That thin cotton cami would be the only thing between her nipples and his skin and he couldn’t wait. Obviously, the goal was to eventually have nothing between them, but the seethrough undershirt was really sexy and he wasn’t ready to take it off her quite yet. 

He ducked down and found that same nipple he’d been playing with earlier and sucked on it through the material. She gasped and arched into him, touching his head, urging him on. Jaime reached around and grabbed her ass again, pulling their groins together. His dick was rock hard, bulging and pulsing, wanting badly to escape the confines of his pants. 

He released her nipple, leaving a wet circle on the shirt that made it even easier to see everything that was under it. Something overtook him suddenly and he couldn’t resist the urge to grind himself against her. He backed her up against the door once again, then lifted one of her legs over his hip. Holding the backs of her thighs he lined his massive erection perfectly between her legs and started to simulate fucking her, thrusting hard and fast, hoping he was rubbing against her clit. 

A little whimper came out of her, a sexy, sweet sound that made his groin ache even more. She clung to him once again, leaning their foreheads together and then started to move with him. Jaime honestly couldn’t remember a time before that dry humping had turned him on like this. He knew if he wasn’t careful he might risk pushing himself over the edge without ever getting his cock out of his pants. 

The only thing that kept him going was the way she was panting. The puffs of her warm breath against his face, the moans and whimpers - he knew what they meant. He knew every sound she made and the way those sounds changed as she was getting close to an orgasm - it was something he would never forget and had thought about so many times, often with his dick in his hand. 

Jaime knew he had to stop before he jizzed in his underwear, but he wanted to get her off, so he let go of her leg and spun her around. He slid a hand down the front of her pants, right into the warm, sticky heat he knew he would find. His middle finger found her clit easily and he gently rubbed the swollen nub. Her body jolted against him and he gave her a moment to recover before touching it again, a little lighter. When he found the right pressure he massaged in slow circles to start, but it only took seconds before she was begging for more. Her hands were pressed flat against the door, bracing herself, while he continued to play with her. “It’s okay,” he said softly into her ear when he felt her entire body start to tense. “Just let go.” 

Her release was explosive and he was honestly a bit disappointed that his cock wasn’t inside her to reap the benefits, but he loved pleasing her more. He loved being in control of her body and creating such intense pleasure. His own time would come eventually, but right then he was lost in the way she leaned back against him, trusting him to support her, thanking him for what he’d done, and perhaps even begging for more already. 

“I need to fuck you,” he finally whispered. Yes, of course it was a want, but it was also truly a need, a longing and craving so intense he wondered if it actually bordered on addiction. 

“My room,” she replied, twisting away from him to lead the way. He was already undoing his pants on the way but it only took a few steps before something came to mind and sparked an intense debate between his inner angel and demon. Just shut up. You have to say something. Don’t you dare. Do the right thing - what will she think if you don’t? 

The first time they had been together he’d had this same dialogue in his mind and he allowed the devil to win, even though he knew it was reckless and stupid. But if he had said something back then, they probably wouldn’t be where they were right then. They may not have even made love a single time. 

This time was different though. They were connected, deeply attracted to one another and he believed they actually had a chance at a future. He couldn’t allow her to think he was irresponsible or risk creating another obstacle for them to overcome. 

When they were in her room with the door shut, she turned to him with a smile. Jaime couldn’t smile back as much as he wanted to, not yet anyway. He looked down his bare chest at his jeans hanging open and the tip of his penis covered only by his cotton underwear. Finally he looked up and took a deep breath. “I’m so sorry,” he said gently. “I, um, I didn’t bring a condom.”


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINALLY!! I hope it’s worth the wait! Thank you guys for being so patient and enjoying the build 😘

Brienne’s face flushed immediately and he wasn’t sure what it meant at first. “Well, I do have something,” she muttered. Jaime watched her walk to the bathroom and return with a box. She handed it over and gave him a sheepish look. “Sorry.” 

“Oh fun,” he drawled as he looked at the box she handed him. “Codometrics - they have a built in measuring tape for fact checking and full disclosure.” 

“I’m so sorry, that’s all I have,” Brienne apologized. “We did gag gifts last year at work for Christmas and that was mine. I thought it was better than the Bieber album or the light up thong that played - I saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus.” 

Jaime laughed and looked at the box in his hand once again. “Oh hey look - it’s in centimeters not inches. If we don’t do the conversion I can keep my fragile male ego intact.” He opened the box and took one out, then set them on the table beside the bed. 

When he returned she gave him a shy smile. “I don’t think you have anything to worry about,” she said softly. There was something so sweet and demure in her voice and it made her even sexier. He could resist grabbing her for a long, sensual kiss to get them both right back in the mood after the short break in action. 

While they were still kissing he slipped his hands down the back of her pants and grabbed her ass. It felt so good to touch her bare skin and feel the weight of her full, supple ass. It made him want more though, he wanted to touch every inch of her smooth, creamy skin and trace those curves he would never forget. Jaime shoved her pants and underwear to the floor and while she was stepping out of them he went right for her shirt, so in a matter of seconds she was standing before him, completely nude, her eyes wide with surprise at how it had happened so quickly. She wasn’t at all bashful though, which he loved. She stood with her shoulders back and her arms at her side, making no move to cover any part of herself. 

Jaime took a step back so he could really look her over. She was truly breathtaking. Carrying a child had made her hips a little wider and her breasts a little bigger than he remembered, but not much else had changed. She still had the most incredible, long, lean, sexy body. He loved her creamy white skin and the way it made her pink nipples stand out in contrast. His eyes moved lower and lingered on the patch of blonde curls that he’d felt earlier. He was intrigued, as she’d been much more trimmed the last time. “I, uh, wasn’t expecting this or I would have -” Her voice trailed off. 

He reached out and touched her, lovingly caressing the curls. “I don’t mind at all,” he whispered. Towards the middle the hair became damp and his cock throbbed, reminding him where it really wanted to be. Jaime ignored his raging hard on and focussed on her. He wanted her to know just how deeply attracted to her he was. He wanted to make her feel every bit as special and beautiful as she was to him. 

He reached for her hand and led her to the bed. He pulled back the blankets and she laid down. Brienne looked up at him and he could tell she was nervous, something else he’d never noticed the last time they were together. “Are you okay?” he asked, wanting to be sure before he went any further. 

“A little nervous,” she admitted with a little smile. “I haven’t done this for quite some time.” 

“But you trust me right?” he asked. She nodded and the smile grew bigger. “If at any point you want me to stop you just have to say the word.” Brienne nodded a second time and then reached for him, letting him know she was ready. Jaime let her pull him down and kiss him deeply. He could tell that she wasn’t used to releasing control very often in her life, and this was her way of taking just a little of it back, doing something she was comfortable with. 

When she released him Jaime took over again, moving to her neck first and then slowly down her entire body. He touched her and kissed her everywhere except the one place he’d already had his hands earlier, leaving that for last. He lingered on her belly for a moment, thinking about the fact that there had been a baby in there, their baby. Thanks to this incredible woman they had a beautiful daughter. The tinge of resentment for all he’d missed came, like it always did, but it faded quickly. He touched the raised skin on the sides of her belly, stretch marks from the pregnancy. He felt her tense and knew he’d caused a moment of self consciousness, so he bent his head and kissed them gently, every single one, then lifted his gaze and whispered, “thank you.” It wasn’t enough, but her eyes changed and he knew she understood. 

Jaime turned his attention back to her body. He slowly and gently eased her legs apart, exposing her sweet pussy. He licked his lips and his mouth started to water at the thought of tasting her. He ducked down and grazed the tip of his nose along her slit and then kissed her softly. Brienne moaned and her body arched, pushing her groin into his face. He caught her legs and held her there, ass off the bed, pussy fully exposed for him - and then he dove in and attacked her like a hungry, wild animal. He lost control. And it was incredible to just let his instincts take over and enjoy something he’d been craving for so long. 

It wasn’t until he felt Brienne tugging at him, begging him to fuck her that he finally snapped out of his blissful trance. “Please Jaime, please,” she pleaded. This was new as well and he loved it. She’d never asked for anything before, not with such desperation at least, she’d been mostly content to just let him do what he wanted and enjoy it. 

He slipped out of bed and quickly stripped off the rest of his clothes. His entire body breathed a sigh of relief when he finally released his cock from the confines of his pants and underwear. It felt so incredible to be free for a moment. He reached for the condom and opened the package. He gave Brienne a little grin as he rolled it down his shaft and watched the ruler appear. “Huh, not bad,” he muttered. 

She laughed and rolled her eyes. “Get over here,” she demanded. He moved back between her legs and lined up, but suddenly he was struck by something he wasn’t expecting and hadn’t experienced probably since he was a teenager. He was fucking nervous. A sense of panic hit him and he actually gasped out loud. “Jaime?” It was clear she’d picked up on his vibe, but didn’t understand it. He wasn’t sure he even understood it himself. There was this sense of pressure, like everything hinged on this moment and her perception of his abilities. He knew he was a good lover. He knew he was well endowed. He knew he had all the skill to please her in every way - hell, he’d done it before - several times in one night. So why now? Why this terror he was feeling? 

“I - I - uh, I don’t - want to mess this up,” he muttered, admitting part of the truth. But what he was quickly coming to realize was that it was far more than just this one isolated time - his real concern was their future. He knew right then in that moment that he absolutely, for sure, wanted a future with her. Not just as two people raising their daughter from separate homes - he wanted her forever and he wanted everything that came with being a real family. That was a hell of a lot of pressure to heap on himself and his performance in the bedroom. 

“You won’t,” she assured him, reaching up to touch his face. But she didn’t know the full details of why he was on the verge of completely freaking out. Somehow though, without fully understanding, she was still able to talk him off the ledge. “Let’s take this one day at a time okay? One moment at a time even. We’re both nervous and that’s okay. It would be weird if we weren’t a little scared, right?” Jaime nodded slowly. “It’s different this time. We’re different people. But I know you well enough to know that it’s going to be amazing and we’re going to be okay.” 

Jaime looked into her eyes, so deep and blue, and he could see they were filled with hope. If she believed in him this much he had to have faith in himself because he trusted her completely. As he stared into her eyes he slowly started to push, penetrating her, then easing into her inch by inch. She kept her eyes open as long as she could but as soon as he was fully inside she moaned in pleasure and closed them. 

Being one with her, buried deep into her core, it was the most amazing feeling in the world. It wasn’t just the physical union, which was nothing short of incredible, but the emotional connection he felt as they made love. He didn’t often care about that part, but with her it was even more important and more enjoyable than the sex itself. But it also made the sex even better, heightening all his senses and bringing a new level of pleasure and arousal that he didn’t even know was possible. 

It was one of those rare times that he was actually thankful that the condom was restricting sensation a bit because he wasn’t sure how long he would have lasted otherwise. He wasn’t even confident he could last a respectable amount of time with the damn thing on. Each stroke made him feel like he was soaring to new heights and all he wanted was to see how high he could fly before it was time to come back down. 

When he got the sense he was getting close Jaime stopped moving. He gathered her in his arms and pulled her up, moving into a sitting position himself, maintaining their union the whole time. With his cock still deep inside her he found her mouth and kissed her gently. Her body shuddered slightly with pleasure and even that tiny movement made his dick ache happily. 

He tangled his fingers in her hair and kissed her more deeply, pushing his tongue into her mouth, tasting her, enjoying the warmth and the feel of her tongue brushing his. Jaime hugged her against his chest, feeling her tits pressing into him. He lightly ran a fingertip up her spine and she shuddered again. Every part of him was screaming for release, but he didn’t want it to end. He wanted these feelings to last forever. 

He held back as long as he could, but finally he couldn’t take it anymore. He leaned back to give himself room to move and started to fuck her slowly from below. Her hands were on his shoulders, but Brienne leaned her head back giving him even more room to move. It didn’t take long before her nails were digging into his skin and she had that look on her face that he knew so well. He dug deep and pushed into her over and over, enjoying the stinging pain of her grip because he knew what it meant. 

Jaime was getting close. He wanted so badly to push her over the edge first, but his orgasm hit him before she was there. He gathered up every bit of strength he had left and continued to fuck her as he released into the condom. Suddenly she gasped. The shudder that followed was nothing like the tiny tremors from earlier, it was a full on earthquake that rocked them both. She leaned forward and clung to him, pressing his face into her neck. He held her too, he needed it every bit as much as she did. His body was tingling all over, his muscles were tired, he felt so hot - but he was happy, ridiculously happy. 

When he felt the first throbbing pulse of her pussy on his cock he moaned. There really was nothing like actually feeling a woman’s orgasm in that way. She took a shaky, racking breath and he realized there were tears in her eyes. “Shh, it’s okay,” he whispered, watching for that first tear to fall so he could brush it away. 

“I’m sorry,” she sniffed. “This has never happened to me before. I’m happy. That was amazing - I - I don’t know what’s going on.” At that moment a single tear slipped over the brink and his hand darted out to catch it. 

He flicked it away and kissed the wet spot it left on her cheek. Her body trembled and shook with another sob and she growled in frustration. Jaime laughed and smiled at her. “It’s fine,” he whispered. “As long as they’re good tears.” 

“They are, I promise,” she sniffled. “God this is embarrassing.” 

“I think it’s beautiful,” he said, catching another tear with his thumb. 

“What if it happens every time? It won’t be so beautiful the 4th time or the 5th time now will it?” She grumbled. She didn’t realize what she’d said but he did. This wasn’t going to be a one time thing. She wanted more of him, as much as he wanted more of her. “Why are you smiling like that?” 

“4th time, 5th time,” he repeated. 

“Oh,” she gasped, her eyes widening and her cheeks flushing a beautiful shade of pink. “I didn’t, I mean -“ she stammered. 

“I’m not sure I can go that many times tonight,” he teased. Her cheeks flushed even more. “I’m not as young and energetic as I was the last time.” 

“We could, uh, spread them out a bit,” she said, her normal color coming back. 

Jaime bit his lip and then spoke. “Well, I mean, I’m not saying that another round is out of the question.” 

She glanced over at the clock. “We do have about an hour to kill before Honor comes home.” Brienne looked back at him and smiled. “What could we possibly do to pass the time?” 

He reached out and flicked her nipple lightly until it went hard. “I have ideas,” he said, before bending his head to latch on. The loud moan that came out of her was so sexy he was sure he would be ready to burn another of those ridiculous condoms in no time.


	22. Chapter 22

As Jaime kissed his way down her body Brienne was still feeling embarrassed about crying. He didn’t seem to care and had likely forgotten about it already, but she hadn’t. It had really thrown her for a loop because she’d never experienced that before. She had absolutely no control or ability to stop it from happening. It was as if it was part of her orgasm and it was frustrating because she wanted to enjoy the feelings of pleasure without sniveling like an idiot. 

Jaime’s head was between her legs and he softly kissed her pussy several times. Brienne moaned and she knew it wouldn’t be long before she would find out if this new crying while orgasming thing was going to keep happening or not. She gasped and shuddered as his tongue parted her and delved deeper. 

It was shocking what a good lover he was. All these years she’d wondered if she was embellishing her memories? She thought about the night they were together and wondered if it was really as good as she remembered? Brienne now knew that she hadn’t exaggerated his abilities in her fantasies. He really did have the soft, gentle touch she remembered. He also had the dominant, confident presence that made it easier for her to let go and give him free reign to do whatever he wanted to do to her body. He was so intuitive and easily read each and every cue she gave him. When she moaned to let him know she was enjoying what he was doing he would continue a while longer, if she was quiet he would move on and try something new. She suspected he enjoyed the challenge of eliciting a moan or sigh because he definitely worked for it. His focus was all on her in such a wonderfully selfless way that was incredibly admirable. 

The build and tempo of his oral exploring was absolutely perfect. He started off slow and methodical, finding out what she liked best and what didn’t seem to turn her on as much. He gathered information and then started to really focus on the things she enjoyed most. When all his nibbling and licking had her squirming with pleasure, begging for more, she felt him start to explore her pussy with his fingers as well. “Fuck,” she hissed as he penetrated her, pushing two fingers deep inside. 

His tongue flicked over her clit as he curved his fingers up inside her, hitting that sweet spot, rubbing somewhere deep in her pussy that was driving her wild. How did he know how to pleasure her like this? How did he know where to touch her? Why was he so incredible? 

Brienne touched his hair and closed her eyes. She had to resist the urge to thread her fingers into his locks and pull. She didn’t want to hurt him and she didn’t want him to stop, but there was this intense desire to just tug and pull and rip at something. Those urges didn’t go away, they only got stronger as her orgasm built. Thankfully her worries about crying were long forgotten as the feelings of pleasure dominated her consciousness. 

The closer she got, the faster his fingers started to move and the harder he sucked. She knew she had the cause and effect backwards, but at that point nothing made sense in her mind anyway. Her sole focus was reaching her peak and how badly she wanted to come all over his sexy face. Brienne cried out and her body jolted. She lifted her hips off the bed pushing her pussy against his mouth, while pulling his head in at the same time. As her body jerked and shuddered she held him right where she wanted him. It was perhaps the first time she’d really been that forward and it felt incredible. 

When she finally let him go and flopped her body back onto the bed Brienne sighed happily. It took a few seconds to realize that she hadn’t cried this time and relief washed over her. She opened her eyes and watched Jaime pop up from between her legs. He gave her a little grin and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. She felt her cheeks flush, but it wasn’t embarrassment this time - it was erotic to know that her scent was all over his face and in his mouth, and even more arousing to know how much he seemed to be enjoying it. 

Jaime reached over to the night stand and grabbed another condom. He held it up and raised his eyebrows - he was asking for her permission. Brienne gave him a look and grabbed the packet from his hand. She opened it and held the latex circle between her thumb and forefinger. He knelt on the bed in front of her and she stared down at his erection, her body starting to hum and fill with heat. She hesitated for a moment because she’d actually never put a condom on a man before. It wasn’t that she didn’t get the concept or know how to do it, but it was a strange realization that this would be another first for her. 

Just do it, she told herself. She didn’t want him to know that she was feeling a bit awkward about her inexperience so Brienne confidently reached out and rolled it on perfectly. She had become pretty good at faking things well enough for people to believe she knew what she was doing, giving her enough time to actually learn before they knew any different. It was one of her best skills and it was what made her successful at most everything she tried. 

She was enjoying the moment of confidence and control so she decided to take it one step further and changed position, letting him know what she wanted. Brienne moved onto her knees in front of him and Jaime took her before she even had a chance to fully brace herself. He caught her though, and held her while he slowly pumped deep into her several times. Then he let her go and get herself situated before he started to move faster. He was pounding her so hard and fast it was taking all her strength to keep from collapsing onto the bed. She couldn’t fall because he would have to stop and that was the last thing she wanted. The way he was wildly pounding her pussy felt too amazing. 

Everything felt so good and so right. Brienne knew she would need to draw on the memory of how she was feeling right then in the future when she started to second guess everything like she always did. When Jaime came she was regretting the position she chose because she really wanted to see his face again. She pictured it the way she remembered and smiled. 

When she finally collapsed onto her stomach and Jaime flopped down across the bed on his back Brienne glanced over at him. A possessive thought was creeping into her mind - she wanted to be the only woman who got to see him like that. She wanted to be the only one that he kissed and touched. She wanted to be the only one who got to kiss and touch him. Stop. She forced the ideas out of her brain. They were nowhere near that and they may never get there for all she knew. Did he even want that? Why did she feel so unsure, even with the things he’d said to her, the way he looked at her and his loving touch. 

“I don’t want this to end,” he said softly, opening his eyes to look at her. Another thing to add to her mental gathering of evidence, even though she knew she could create a mile high pile and still have doubts. 

“Me neither,” she replied. “But they’ll be home soon - “ Her voice trailed off. “And if you plan on staying to meet Loras you’ll need to shower.” 

His eyes sparkled in amusement. “You don’t want to introduce me with pussy juice all over my face?” Jaime licked his lips and she shivered. 

“Well to be fair, it might be a reminder to Mr. Tyrell that you are indeed heterosexual,” she joked. “Go shower,” she added, giving him a little nudge with her foot. 

“Only if you join me,” he countered. 

“We’re just showering,” she warned. He gave an innocent nod, but they both knew better. 

They didn’t have sex in there, but his hands we on every inch of her. He kissed her and touched her with hot water washing over them and soap slipping over her skin. Somehow in between steamy make out sessions they managed to wash themselves but the shower took way longer than it should have. 

She glanced at the clock as they were towelling off and a sense of panic struck her. There was no way she would have time to dry her hair. “We’re going to get busted,” she moaned. 

“Honor won’t notice,” Jaime replied with an easy shrug. 

“Loras will,” she replied, her cheeks flushing hot pink. Suddenly an idea came to her. “Get dressed,” she told him. 

She raced naked into her room and dug through the bottom drawer until she found what she was looking for. She tugged on a one piece swimsuit, grabbed her cover up and then went back into the bathroom, turned on the shower and wet her body. 

“What are you doing?” Jaime asked, looking extremely amused at her efforts. 

“We spent the last hour in the hot tub,” she announced as she dried off some and then put the cover up on. 

“Oh is that what the kids are calling it these days,” he teased. 

“Put your shirt on and get downstairs,” she hissed. She knew he found the whole thing hilarious and would have happily been busted by a random stranger he didn’t know. But the thought of Loras knowing they’d spend the last couple hours humping like rabbits was mortifying. 

They barely made it to the bottom of the stairs when the front door opened and Honor and Loras walked in. “Oh hey,” Loras said with a smile - a smile that widened when he laid eyes on Jaime and was then followed by a curious look as he took in the situation. 

“Jaime came over because he wanted to meet you,” Brienne blurted out. “We decided to soak in the hot tub for a bit while we waited for you guys to come home.” 

Jaime stepped forward and extended a hand. “Jaime,” he said. “It’s a pleasure to meet you. I’ve heard nothing but great things.” 

“Likewise,” Loras replied, shaking Jaime’s hand. Brienne could see he was checking out Jaime from head to toe. Not that she could blame him for it, Jaime Lannister was very easy on the eyes. 

“So, how was the movie?” Brienne asked, lightly fluffing her hair with a towel. 

“It was so good,” Honor replied excitedly. Thankfully that led right into a flurry of chatter where she pretty much retold the entire story. 

“Spoiler alert,” Jaime interrupted, when Honor gave away the ending. 

“Sorry,” she giggled. Brienne looked at the brilliant smile on her daughter’s face and it made her heart swell. It was so good to hear her laugh again and see the sparkle in her eye. It was certainly better than the glares and eye rolling she’d been getting lately. 

“I should get going,” Loras announced after a few more minutes of chatting. 

“Thank you,” Honor said, giving him a hug. 

“Anytime kiddo,” he replied. 

Honor started to walk away and then stopped. “Oh before I go to my room - Jaime, can you come over first thing in the morning?” 

“Uh, sure -“ He said, glancing over at Brienne. She shrugged. 

“I’ve made a decision about a couple of things and we all should talk. Night.” With that she was gone. 

Brienne’s stomach twisted with anxiety. What could she have made a decision about? “Did you two talk? What’s that about?” She asked Loras. 

“We chatted about how she was feeling and she told me a lot about Jaime, but I honestly have no idea about any decisions she’s made. Sorry,” he apologized. 

“It’s fine,” she sighed. But she knew she would be up half the night wondering what was going to be said the next morning. 

Loras started to wander towards the door, then stopped and turned around with a grin. “Hot tub huh?” 

She glanced over at Jaime who was grinning just as wide as Loras - absolutely no help at all. “Fuck you both,” she muttered. The men laughed and she rolled her eyes. 

She followed Loras to the door to say goodbye. He leaned in and gave her a hug. “I’m happy for you,” he whispered. “That man is fiiiiiine,” he added. 

Brienne gave him a little shove and smiled. “Get out of here. Drive safe.” They waved goodbye and she shut the door. 

“So,” Jaime said, moving closer. “I guess I’ll see you in the morning.” 

“What do you think she’s going to say?” Brienne asked nervously. 

He stepped into her space and gently tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. “I have no idea. But try not to think the worst. She seemed pretty normal around you tonight don’t you think?” 

“I guess,” Brienne muttered. “Damn, why can’t she just tell us now. Should I go get her? Have her come down and talk?” 

Jaime shook his head. “Let her have this. Let her do it her way.” Brienne slowly nodded. She knew he was right. 

“I’m not going to sleep at all,” she said with a little pout. “I’m going to lay there thinking about all the awful things she might say.” 

He settled his hands on her hips. “Maybe I can give you something else to think about instead.” His voice was husky and his eyes were on her lips.

“Honor might - “ She started to say, but before she could finish his mouth was on hers. “Mmm,” she moaned. Their tongues brushed and he pulled her closer. It felt so good that she forgot about her fears for a moment and just melted into him. When he finally pulled back she leaned her forehead against his for a moment. “Thank you,” she whispered. 

“Get some sleep,” he said gently. Jaime stroked her cheek again and then looked into her eyes. “Tonight was incredible.” Brienne felt her heart flutter. She knew she should say something in response but the best she could manage was a nod. “Night Brienne.” He hesitated a while before he finally stepped around her to leave. 

“Night,” she replied, standing at the door to watch him stroll to his car. When she finally shut the door again she walked slowly up to her room wondering whether she would spend the night worrying about Honor or fantasizing about Jaime?


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was the best of times, it was the worst of times 😂😂 Hope you all enjoy this ride!

Brienne slept better than she expected, as soon as she let thoughts and memories of Jaime take over her brain and pushed the anxiety over Honor into the back of her mind. She still woke up quite early though, so she showered, dressed, brushed her teeth and headed down to start working on breakfast. 

She puttered around in the kitchen, trying to distract herself, but the more minutes that ticked by the more the anxiety started to creep back in. She found herself banging cupboard doors and being much louder, hoping she would wake up Honor so they could just get this over with. Jaime showed up at 8am and she let him in and then headed right back to the kitchen with him trailing behind. “Honor still sleeping?” he asked. 

“Yes,” Brienne moaned. “She should be down soon though, she doesn’t usually sleep in too late.” 

“Uh, is that fresh squeezed orange juice?” Jaime said, eying her suspiciously. “What’s going on?” 

“I needed a distraction. I’m still so worried about what she’s going to say,” Brienne admitted. 

Jaime walked over and slipped his arms around her waist. “I can provide a distraction,” he offered. Before she could reply his lips were on hers and her body tingled in response. She kissed him back, unable to think for a few moments because it just felt too good. Even when she came to her senses she still let him put his tongue in her mouth because the man was a ridiculously incredible kisser and she was really enjoying the way he made her feel. 

Finally, with great reluctance, she pushed him away. “Honor could walk in any second,” she hissed. “We have to be more careful.” Jaime looked amused. “I’m serious,” Brienne snapped. He needed to know that she didn’t think it was funny. The smile dropped off his face and she felt bad. “I’m sorry,” she sighed. “But I’m just not ready for her to know. Especially with whatever she wants to talk to us about hanging over my head.” He didn’t look happy about it, but he nodded. “Thank you,” she added, giving him a smile. Her stomach swirled with anxiety yet again, now adding to the mix the fact that Jaime seemed annoyed with her. 

The oven timer went off and Brienne went to take out the bacon. She started the scrambled eggs and put down some toast. With her impeccable timing as always, Honor arrived just as everything was finished. “Morning,” she said cheerfully. “Breakfast smells amazing.” Brienne froze and eyed her daughter suspiciously, wondering if she was being extra nice because what she was about to say was so awful she felt the need to soften the blow. “Come on, let’s eat.” 

They all sat down and dug in. Jaime and Honor chatted easily, as usual, while devouring everything on their plate. Brienne on the other hand shoved her eggs around, managed to get down one piece of bacon and a couple bites of toast. “Mom? You’re not eating,” Honor commented, as she shoved her empty plate to the side. 

“I’m not really hungry,” she replied with a smile. “I snuck some bacon while I was cooking,” she added. It was a total lie, but she wasn’t about to admit that she was so nervous she couldn’t even eat the delicious breakfast she’d just made. Jaime knew she was lying and she could feel his eyes on her. She glanced over and gave him a little glare that said ‘don’t judge me.’ 

“Well I guess we can get to it then,” Honor said, folding her hands on the table. Brienne felt dizzy as her stomach knots twisted and pulled tighter. She was also getting really annoyed with herself for reacting the way she was. “So I decided two things, one involves you,” she looked at Jaime. “And the other is about mom,” she finished, her eyes on Brienne. 

“Me first,” Brienne blurted out. She didn’t mean to sound so eager, but she didn’t think she could wait any longer. 

Honor nodded. “Okay.” Just say it, Brienne’s mind screamed as Honor paused for a moment to collect her thoughts. “I decided that I can’t stay mad at you any longer.” 

“Wait, what?” Brienne was sure she’d heard it wrong. 

“I don’t like the way it makes me feel when I’m mad at you,” Honor continued. “And it makes me really sad because I miss you.” Brienne stared back at her blankly, in complete shock. “Mom?” Honor waved a hand in front of her face. “I thought you’d be more excited.” 

“I am,” she whispered, just as relief flooded her body and the tears hit her hard. “I just wasn’t expecting that,” she sniffed. Brienne stood up. “Come here baby,” she said, opening her arms. Honor jumped up and flew into her arms and they both cried together. “I love you so much,” she whispered, as she stroked Honor’s silky hair. 

“I love you too and I’m sorry I was such a jerk the past few days,” she replied, hugging Brienne tightly. 

“It’s okay, I understand.” Brienne drew back and looked at her. She didn’t want to spoil the moment, but she was curious. “Can I ask what changed your mind?” 

“Ice Cream,” Honor replied with a giggle. 

Brienne glanced over at Jaime and he shrugged. “Ice cream?” 

“Loras bought me ice cream last night and instead of picking my favorite, I ordered your favorite - without even thinking,” Honor explained. “When it came to the table and I looked at it - I don’t know, it just hit me how much I missed you and all of a sudden I didn’t care anymore about being mad. I don’t know if I’ll ever understand why you did what you did, but if you hadn’t - well, maybe I never would have known my dad all those years. He was amazing and I would have missed out on something special.” Brienne felt another tear trickle down her cheek. “And now I have Jaime,” she added, looking over at him fondly. 

“So what did you want to tell him?” Brienne asked, prompting her to relieve Jaime’s curiosity now that everything was better for her. 

Honor sat back down at the table across from Jaime. “I guess it’s more of a question, kind of - “ she said, looking at him nervously. Brienne watched with peaked curiosity as to what Honor could possibly be nervous about. “I would like to start calling you dad - if you’re okay with that?” 

Brienne gasped in shock and saw Jaime’s eyes widen. Wow, she’s just full of surprises today, Brienne thought. She watched Jaime, wondering what he was thinking. “I - uh - I - “ he stammered. “Yes,” he finally said, smiling brightly. “I would love it if you called me dad.” Brienne could see his eyes were shining, and while he didn’t cry full tears like she had, she could tell he was pretty close. 

Honor got up and went over to hug him. Brienne watched the encounter with her heart swelling in her chest. Jaime hugged her tightly with his eyes closed and that same smile still on his face. He looked blissfully happy and she knew exactly how he felt. What she’d expected to be a horrible morning had turned into one of the happiest days of her life. She had her daughter back and they could finally move forward and be happy. 

“So, uh, mom,” Honor said, after letting go of Jaime. “I was wondering if maybe we could go to the mall? Do some shopping and then stop at the ice cream place?” 

“You just ate breakfast and you’re already thinking about ice cream?” Brienne teased. 

“I’m always thinking about ice cream,” she replied, giggling again. Brienne had forgotten how much she loved that beautiful sound. 

She nodded. “Yeah, I think we can do that. I have an open house at 4pm, but that gives us lots of time.” 

“Great, I’ll go shower and get ready,” Honor said excitedly. “You can come too if you want, Dad.” 

Hearing Honor actually call him dad was another thing altogether. Brienne could see that it threw him for a moment, but in a good way. It was something she would have to get used to, not because she didn’t love it, but because she was so used to Honor referring to Renly as dad. “I think you two could use a girl’s day,” he replied, his voice a bit hoarse with emotion. “I have a meeting today to finalize some things with the house anyway. They’ll be starting on it very soon.” 

Honor’s eyes lit up. “I can’t wait.” She went to walk away and then turned back. “I think I’ll be okay to sleep over now,” she said. “So I guess you two should talk and figure out a schedule. I’m good with whatever you decide.” 

Brienne watched her walk away and disappear up the steps. “What the hell just happened? Was that real?” she asked, turning around to face Jaime. 

“She called me dad,” he whispered, with a whimsical grin on his face. “Wait, are you okay with that? I know it was sudden. And I swear I had nothing to do with it.” The grin faded and a look of concern replaced it. 

“That is between you and her - it’s none of my business. But - “ She gave him a bright smile. “I’m really, really happy for you. I know how I feel everytime she calls me mom and I realize that this amazing young woman is my baby girl.”

Jaime nodded. “It does make it feel - well - even more real I guess,” he said. He looked at his watch and stood up. “Shit, I have a meeting in half an hour. I have to run.” 

“It’s okay. I need to mentally prepare myself and my credit card to hit the mall with an enthusiastic middle schooler who thinks money grows on trees,” she said with a chuckle. 

“Oh, did you want uh - should I give you some money for her to spend?” he asked, reaching for his wallet. 

“Oh my God, no - I didn’t mean it like that,” Brienne replied quickly. “We have money, really - we’re doing more than okay.” 

“No, I know, but she’s my daughter too and I should be paying for things -” His voice trailed off and Brienne could tell that he wanted to feel like he was contributing in every way, including financially. 

Brienne moved closer and took his hand. “How about we talk about it later and figure something out, okay?” she said softly. She didn’t want to be dismissive because she knew it was important to him. She also knew he was rich and she wanted to make sure that didn’t negatively impact Honor in any way. She’d talked to her many times about how you have to work for things and earn them. She didn’t want Honor to end up spoiled, but at the same time she wanted to give her everything - it was a catch 22 really, but something her and Jaime could figure out together. 

His finger lightly stroked the center of her palm and she felt tingles again. “Call me when you’re done with your open house and maybe we can get together,” he suggested. 

“Sounds good,” she replied, looking into his eyes. She wanted to kiss him and she knew he wanted it too. She could feel the tension building between them and she knew if she let the flames get too high she wouldn’t be able to stop herself. She went to back away, but he still had her hand and he tugged her back to him and then slipped an arm around her waist. “Jaime -” she warned. But he didn’t listen, he started to move towards her mouth. “We can’t -” She gasped, resisting his advances. 

She really thought he would try once more - and if he had of, her restraint was gone. She would have let him kiss her for as long as he wanted. But instead of trying again he abruptly let her go. “Have a good day,” he said curtly, turning on his heel and walking quickly towards the front door. 

“Jaime wait - “ She called after him. 

“I’m going to be late for my meeting,” he called back over his shoulder. “I’ll talk to you later.” Brienne watched him disappear out the door and flinched when it banged shut behind him. He hadn’t slammed it, but the finality of the door closing made her anxious because she knew she’d upset him. 

She sighed and went to clean up the kitchen. They had a lot to talk about later that was for sure. By the time she was done cleaning her mood had brightened again. Her and Jaime would work things out, she was sure of it, and she was really looking forward to spending the day with Honor because it had been way too long. 

When they finally returned home around 3pm with too many bags to bring inside in one trip, still laughing about the cheetah print tights Brienne had tried on at Old Navy, it felt like old times again. “I had so much fun today,” Brienne said, giving Honor a sloppy kiss on the cheek. 

“Enough fun to let me have a sleepover at Ty’s?” She asked with a little sheepish shrug. 

“Aunt Shae said I could sleep in the spare room any time I want,” Honor said, reminding Brienne that Honor and Ty weren’t just good friends, but cousins too. 

“Aunt Shae, huh?” She raised her eyebrows. 

“Uncle Tyrion said I could call them that as soon as I felt comfortable,” she shrugged again. “I think I’m ready to start thinking of them as family.” 

“Yes, they are your family after all,” Brienne nodded. She gave Honor another hug. “Okay, go get your things packed and I’ll drop you off on my way to the open house.” 

“Thank you,” Honor squealed, hugging her tightly. Brienne closed her eyes and enjoyed the hug. She swore she would treasure each and every one after missing them for what seemed like an eternity. 

She dropped Honor off and then went to the property for the open house. The two hour event went extremely well. The home was packed with perspective buyers and she was busy the whole time answering questions and leading tours through the gorgeous, upscale house. Once everyone was gone and she tidied up and locked up, it was well past 6pm. She usually felt emotionally exhausted after a busy afternoon showing like that, but thoughts of Jaime refreshed her quickly. 

Honor was gone for the night, so she had no reason to hurry home. Instead of calling Jaime she decided to just swing by his place and surprise him. She had some nervous flutters in her stomach after the way they left things earlier, but she also had some mutually beneficial ideas of how she could make it up to him that were making her cheeks flush. 

As Brienne turned the corner onto his street she could see his drive approaching and she realized there was already another car parked there. She pulled in anyway and as soon as she saw the license plate she knew exactly whose vehicle it was. Anger was bubbling up inside her and she felt a sense of rage that she’d never experienced before. “Fucking bitch,” she hissed under her breath. 

Her first instinct was to put the car in reverse and peel out of there, then go find a bottle of whiskey to kill the rage with a good buzz. But she didn’t change gears, she left the car in park, then turned it off. Before she could change her mind Brienne stomped up to the front door and hammered her fist against it several times instead of pressing the doorbell. 

She desperately wanted to be wrong, but she knew what she would find when that door opened. “Brienne? You didn’t call,” Jaime said as he pulled open the door. He looked amazing, as always, with a white button down, the top couple buttons open, a pair of jeans and bare feet. He had a glass of wine in his hand too. 

She looked past him, into the house and her eyes locked on the woman she could see just down the hall. “What the fuck are you doing here?” She snapped, moving right past Jaime to confront the red head. “I told you. I warned you. And here she is,” she added, glaring back at Jaime. 

“Hi Brienne,” Ros Baelish said softly, as she moved closer with a bottle in her hand. “Did you want to join us for a glass of wine?”


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promised I would update soon so here you go! Lots of feels in this one 😘

“Are you for real right now?” Brienne snapped, as anger - and yes, jealousy, rushed through her body. “You come here to - to - try to seduce my - uh -” Brienne hesitated briefly, trying to think of what exactly she wanted to call Jaime. “My daughter’s father and then you want to sit down and have a glass of wine like we’re old friends?” 

“Brienne,” Jaime interrupted, reaching for her arm. 

“Don’t,” she hissed, shaking him off. She was pissed off at him too, but she would deal with him later. She turned back to Ros. “You’re nothing but a - a -” Brienne stopped herself before she used a term she never wanted to use towards another woman, even if she believed it suited her. 

Ros nodded. “Go ahead. I’ve heard it all. What were you going to say? Jezebel? Slut? Whore? Or were you going to call me Homewrecker Ros?” Brienne was surprised she knew the town’s nickname for her, although she shouldn’t have been. Surely someone had used it to her face before. She set down the wine. “It’s okay,” she smiled. “I deserved it almost every time. I’m not proud of the way I’ve behaved the past few years but that’s not what this is about.” 

“Yeah right,” Brienne sneered. “You’ve been all over him from the first time you laid your eyes on him.” 

Ros nodded again. “Also a fair statement. But can you blame me? Look at him,” she added, giving Jaime a look that made Brienne’s blood boil even more. “I’m going to leave and let you two sort things out,” she said sweetly. Brienne watched her walk over and give Jaime a kiss on the cheek and had to resist grabbing her stupid fake red hair and yanking her backwards. “Thanks again, for everything.” 

“Don’t let the door hit you in the a -” She felt Jaime’s hand cover her mouth before she could finish. “Mmmmghhmm,” she muttered, before biting him so he would let go. 

“Ouch,” he hissed, pulling away. “Oh my God, would you just stop,” he grumbled in frustration. 

By that point Ros was gone and the door was closed behind her. “Stop? You want me to stop? You’re mad at me for 5 seconds and the next thing I know you’re here - with her - after I specifically warned you.” 

Jaime eyed her without reacting, which only infuriated her more. “Would you like to know why Ros was here?” He asked. 

Brienne crossed her arms and scowled. “I don’t know if I can bear to hear you say it,” she muttered. “Thanks again, for everything,” she said, mocking Ros’ last words. 

“I bet you’re dying to know what she was thanking me for,” he said, looking amused. 

“Why are you smiling?” She growled. “How is any of this funny?” 

“It’s not funny - it’s just -” He sighed. “Brienne Ros was here to thank me for bringing my friend Bronn out to work in my new office. They’ve been out to dinner twice now and they really hit it off. She said she’d never felt this way about anyone before and she was just very grateful that my business moving here brought Bronn into her life.” 

Brienne’s heart sunk with shame and guilt. “She - uh - she wasn’t here hitting on you?” 

Jaime shook his head. “Not even close. She brought the wine as a thank you and I asked if she wanted to have a celebratory drink. That’s all. She’s meeting Bronn for a movie at 7 so it was just a quick one.” 

“Well why the fuck did you let me make a complete idiot of myself?” Brienne snapped, glaring at him. 

“Hey, I tried to stop you, but you were on a roll darling,” he chuckled. “Was that, uh, jealousy?” He teased. 

“No, of course not,” she lied. “It was - um - it’s been a long day.” 

“Uh huh, sure,” he nodded, not buying it. 

Brienne moaned and sunk down onto the couch. “I’m going to have to go by her place and apologize tomorrow aren’t I?” 

“You should probably bake something delicious. People like apologies better when you throw in homemade cookies or a nice pie. In fact, I haven’t had a nice pan of brownies fresh out of the oven in a long time,” he added, blinking innocently at her. 

“Why am I baking brownies for you?” she huffed. 

“Well, I’m pretty sure you owe me an apology as well,” he said, sitting down on the couch beside her. “Did you actually believe I would go sleep with some random woman because I was mad at you? Which isn’t even true by the way.” 

“I don’t know,” she muttered, her cheeks flushing. 

Jaime reached for her hand. “What’s going on? Talk to me.” 

She swallowed at the lump in her throat, fighting back tears so she could talk. “Well - the only real relationship I had ended with me finding out my husband was gay and had a lover on the side. And the only other man I’ve ever cared about - “ She looked him in the eye. “Well I screwed that up the first time and it looks like I’m screwing it up again.” 

“What do I have to do to prove to you that I’m here and I’m not going anywhere?” he asked, searching her eyes. 

“I don’t know,” she muttered again. It was the truth, she honestly didn’t know what she needed him to do or say. It was all so new and confusing and scary. 

“Brienne - I’m in love with you,” he said, touching her face. The tears she’d been holding back sprung up and started to leak down her cheeks. “I’ve been in love with you from the second I climbed into your car that night and I’ve never stopped loving you. I tried to pretend. I tried to move on. But it was always you. And it always will be.” 

He brushed away the tears that were hitting his thumb. “Jaime - I - “ 

“Don’t,” he interrupted. “You don’t need to say it back, not tonight. I know it’s a lot and you need time to process it, so just wait. When it’s time, when you’re sure - then you can say it back.” 

“Thank you,” she whispered, turning her head to kiss his palm. She knew she loved him too, but she also knew he was right and she did need time to process everything before she said it back. It wasn’t because she wasn’t sure, it was just because she needed to fully convince herself she wasn’t going to hurt him. She’d already done it once, earlier that day, when she wouldn’t kiss him in case Honor happened to walk in. She needed him to understand why she did that. “Jaime? Can I explain how I acted earlier today?” 

He shook his head. “You don’t need to. I’m sorry I reacted badly. I really wasn’t mad at you - I was just frustrated because I want everyone to know we’re together. I want to be able to kiss you whenever I feel like it.” 

“We’d be kissing all the time,” she teased. 

“You’re probably right,” he chuckled. 

“I still want to explain though, okay?” He nodded, so she took a minute to collect her thoughts. “Up until you came back to town I was a single parent. I’ve been a single parent since the day I left Renly. That’s not to say that he didn’t support and love Honor until the day he died, that’s not what I mean - am I even making sense? I’m not great at explaining myself.” 

“I’m following so far,” Jaime confirmed. 

“Okay good. So anyway, as a single parent I’ve always had a rule about the men I’ve dated. There haven’t been many of course, but I’ve never been with one long enough, or cared about one enough, to introduce them to Honor,” she explained. “I know it’s completely different with you because you’re actually her father and you’re not going anywhere, but I have an innate need to protect her. If things don’t work out between us - If I mess up again like I did before -” Her voice trailed off. “I just don’t want to get her hopes up and then have her get hurt - and end up mad at me again when I fuck it up. I can’t bear to go through that again.” 

“You need to believe in yourself as much as I believe in you,” he replied. “As much as our daughter believes in you. You’ve always put her first and you’ll do whatever it takes to protect her - which I fully support because I’m going to do exactly the same thing.” He rested his forehead on hers. “So we’ll take it one step at a time. We’ll get to know each other and make sure its going to work before we say anything to her.” 

Brienne drew back. “You’re sure you don’t mind?” 

Jaime shrugged. “I have no doubt that this thing between us is going to last for a very long time, but you need concrete proof and I can respect that. Brienne I would do anything for you - you have to know that by now.” 

“Anything?” she asked. 

“Anything,” he confirmed. 

Brienne eyed him and then smiled slyly. “So if I wanted to go out for dinner - in another town where no one will know us - you’d be willing to do that?” 

“Are you asking me out on a date?” Jaime grinned. 

“I guess I am,” she confirmed. 

He ran his hands through his hair and pulled at the shirt he was wearing. “Well I’m going to need some time to primp and manscape.” 

She gave him an amused nod. “Well I need to go home and shower and change - so how about you pick me up at 8?” 

“Sure, sounds good,” Jaime agreed. “Wait, where’s Honor?” 

Brienne smiled. “She’s at Uncle Tyrion and Aunt Shae’s for a sleepover with Ty.” 

She could tell Jaime liked the sound of that, and she had to admit it was growing on her as well. “Ah man, it’s Saturday - lucky kid.” Brienne gave him a curious look. “They always have fajitas on Saturday night - Shae is an amazing cook and my brother isn’t half bad either.” 

“I can make fajitas. Delicious fajitas,” she replied, without even thinking about the fact that she was letting her jealous side show through again. Jaime looked thoroughly entertained though. “Oh my god, just get over here,” she sighed, pulling him in for a kiss. 

It wasn’t just any kiss. It was sweet and sexy, but it was also filled with hope and trust. The way he kissed her back made her feel like anything was possible. She just needed to believe in herself and believe in them. When her body started to react, as it always did, Brienne had to force herself to gently pull back. She leaned back in and pressed her lips to his one more time. “I’ll see you soon,” she added, standing up. Jaime grabbed her and pulled her back for yet another kiss. “Mmm, I’ve got to go,” she mumbled against his lips. 

“Okay, fine,” he groaned, releasing her. “I’ll be there - 8 sharp.” 

“I’ll be ready,” Brienne replied with a smile. She gave him a little wave and then headed for the door, already feeling the excitement bubble up inside her thinking about their upcoming date.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little nostalgia here. Hope you guys enjoy. Sorry it took so long to update. I appreciate your patience 😘😘

When Brienne opened the door she took his breath away. “You look beautiful,” Jaime said softly, giving her a tender smile. She wasn’t dressed formally, just casually but more feminine than he was used to seeing her. He had flashes of the night they had first met but this was different. The long, pretty dress she was wearing wasn’t meant to attract the attention of anyone but him. The soft curls she’d put in her short hair would be subtle to most people, but he appreciated the little extra effort she’d put in for their first real date. As usual she wasn’t wearing much makeup, but he could see the light pink shine on her lips and a little sparkle of eyeshadow. She was always beautiful to him, but there was a little extra glow that made his heart beat a bit faster. 

Jaime held up his cell phone. On the screen there was a photo of a huge bouquet of roses. “What’s that?” she asked with the hint of a smile on her lips. 

“Those are the flowers that I would have bought you if we weren’t worried about your nosey neighbors seeing us, or trying to explain the bouquet of roses to Honor,” he replied. 

“They’re gorgeous, thank you,” she replied, surprising him by leaning in to softly kiss his cheek. It could have been viewed as a friendly peck to anyone watching, but the fact they were dressed nicely and now walking to his car might have led them to draw other more accurate conclusions if anyone had indeed seen them. 

Once they were in the car he turned to her. “So where are we going?” When Brienne said the name of the town he stared at her for a moment. “Really?” He asked. 

“Unless you’re not comfortable with that,” she said quickly, her cheeks flushing. “I just thought maybe it would be nice to start over again where it all began - so I can do it right this time,” she added. 

It actually did make sense so he nodded. It had been a long time since he’d been there, but he was confident he still knew every inch of the town because he’d looked everywhere for her for several days before he finally moved on. He’d left the town and continued on his way, but he didn’t leave the memories behind, he carried those with him everywhere, every day. “Sounds good,” he got out, forcing a smile, even though he felt a bit nervous about the idea. He really did understand where she was coming from. She wanted the chance to right a wrong, but at the same time he wondered if starting fresh might be a better idea? He shrugged off his concerns, time would tell. 

Brienne told him the name of the restaurant she wanted to go to. It wasn’t familiar, so he decided it must be newer. As they drove and chatted he felt conflicting emotions. The two of them had never had trouble talking to each other. There were no lulls in the conversation and it was easy, not forced. But the closer they got to the town the more nostalgic he was starting to feel and he couldn’t shake the darkness that came with it. Jaime knew he should have just been honest with her, but he really did want to give her plan a chance because he knew it was what she needed and he wanted to support that. 

As they approached the exact spot she had pulled over to pick him up that night in the rain Jaime felt a tightening in his chest, but it wasn’t a bad feeling like he’d been expecting - he actually felt thankful and a little buzz of excitement, just like he’d felt that night when he climbed into her car. Maybe this wasn’t such a bad idea after all, he thought. “So many cars passed me that night,” Jaime said. “From when the rain started to when you pulled over all those other people drove right by. I watched every single set of tail lights fade into the distance.” By the time she showed up he’d actually pretty much given up on even sticking his thumb out. He hadn’t bothered for the previous 3 cars, but something made him turn and try as she approached. “Where would we be right now if you hadn’t stopped?” He wondered out loud. “If you’d drove right by like dozens other people.” 

He could feel Brienne’s eyes on him. “I’m glad we don’t have to find out,” she said tentatively. It was like she was looking for reassurance that he felt the same. Her insecurities popped up at random times, but Jaime believed it was because once in a while she actually let her guard down with him. As frustrating as it could be, because he honestly didn’t know what he had to do to make her accept how he felt about her, he decided to take it as a compliment instead. 

“Me too,” he replied, reaching for her hand. Jaime twisted his fingers through hers and they held hands all the way to the restaurant while he steered with the other. 

The restaurant was excellent. They sat side by side in a cozy booth and had a glass of wine with three courses of incredible food. He liked the way it felt to have her sitting so close in public, even if he knew no one there would recognize them. It would be obvious to the server and anyone else who walked by that they were a couple and that made him very happy. 

As Brienne put her last bite of dessert in her mouth he leaned over and nuzzled her jaw with his nose. Without looking he knew she was smiling while she chewed. He touched her leg and let his hand rest on her thigh. It wasn’t high enough to be indecent, but it was certainly enough to cause waves of desire to ripple through him. It continued to shock him just how deeply he craved her. He figured he would get used to it eventually, but his need for her seemed to get a little stronger every single time they were together - so there was no ‘getting used’ to it in sight. 

When she was finished chewing she wiped her mouth and then turned her head slightly to whisper in his ear. “I don’t want tonight to end.” 

Jaime touched his lips to her temple, prepared for the tingling all over that he knew would follow. “We can have nights like this whenever we want.” 

She laughed softly. “You’re still new to being a parent,” she teased. “Date nights are few and far between.” Brienne put her hand over his. “But it’s worth it, and makes the time we do get even more special.” He nodded and lifted her hand to his lips. He felt almost giddy with delight that they just couldn’t seem to stop touching each other. “Let’s get out of here,” she breathed, already sliding out of the booth. 

He quickly got out some cash and put it with the bill that the server had dropped off earlier, then followed her towards the exit. Jaime assumed they were heading home, but when he put on his right blinker she stopped him. “Go left,” she said. There was a shakiness to her voice and it only took a moment to understand it as the motel they’d stayed at came into view. He looked over at her and she nodded. 

All these years and the place looked just like he remembered it. There may have been a few upgrades to the signage and general maintenance, but the layout was identical. Jaime wasn’t sure of her intentions so he stopped in the middle of the mostly vacant lot and waited for direction. Brienne motioned for him to pull up to the lobby so Jaime moved forward and stopped by the doors. She didn’t look at him when she got out of the car and went inside - it was exactly the same as the first time. Except this time she was really nervous. He could sense her anxiety. Jaime could feel his heart pounding as he watched through the window. 

When she returned with a key he looked at the number. “Holy fuck,” he breathed. She’d even got them the exact same room. He met her eye and confirmed just how nervous she was. He hadn’t seen that look in her eye the last time they were there, even if she’d felt it. She hadn’t let him in back then like she was right now. “Brienne - we don’t have to do this,” he said gently. 

“I need to make it right,” she said firmly. Jaime nodded and drove towards their room, determined to give her what she needed so she could move forward and let go of the guilt of her past. He parked and they got out of the car. He went straight to the door and unlocked it. He could feel her presence behind him but he didn’t turn until they were both inside. She seemed to want this to be just like it was the first time - with a different ending, so he did his best to give that to her. Before he turned towards her he scanned the room and was slammed with memories - sexy, erotic memories that made his groin stir. All the ways he’d fucked her that night, all the ways he’d made her come, the look on her face, the way her body moved with his - Jaime closed his eyes to try to stop the flood of images and then took a slow deep breath. 

Once his eyes were closed the other side of the coin hit him - finding that letter and realizing she was gone - knowing he would likely never see her again. The pain, the anger, the helplessness - it still cut him to the bone. It’s all in the past, he told himself. One more deep breath and he turned towards her, ready to give her what she needed. 

When Brienne met his eye it took his breath away. Her gaze was everything he remembered, confident, lusty, curious - still so full of mystery, even though he knew her so much better this time. There was the same thick and heavy feeling in the air - the promise of what was to come mixed with the raging hormones they were both feeling. He watched as she absentmindedly smoothed her dress, exactly like she’d done before even though the dress itself was very different. He couldn’t see those mile long legs this time, but he knew very well what they looked like so he used his imagination. 

Jaime smiled at her, trying to focus on anything but the ache he was feeling in his groin or the way his heart was fluttering. Brienne smiled back at him and he very slowly crept closer. When he stopped he was standing right in front of her, somewhere he’d been many times in the past few weeks - somewhere he loved being. He was looking up at her, as usual and once again she slipped out of her heels. The words he’d spoken to her echoed in his mind and he spoke them out loud. “You’re still taller,” he said. 

Jaime touched her face and then lifted his heels off the floor to touch his lips to hers. There was something about reliving that moment that had him right on the edge of losing control completely. He tried to hold back and kiss her soft and gentle, but the heat rolling through him and the way he craved her pushed him forward much faster than before. When their tongues met he could still taste a hint of chocolate from her dessert and it made him crave her even more. 

It wasn’t exactly the same, it wasn’t perfect, but it felt incredible and Jaime decided he was fully on board with her plan at that point - even though he wasn’t sure exactly what was next. Did she want him to pretend he was soaking wet, freezing and needed a shower? He was lost in thought while they continued to kiss, but a wet feeling on his face brought him back. “Brienne?” He said, breaking the kiss quickly. One look at her face and his heart felt like it was going to break in two. She was in complete anguish, broken, falling apart right in front of him. “Hey, hey, shhh,” he said, pulling her against his chest. He held her and let her cry. He couldn’t even pretend to understand what was wrong or what she was going through, but he could support her - right then, and always. “I’m here,” he whispered. “I’m not going anywhere.” He hadn’t intended to make things worse, but she seemed to cry a little harder after he spoke and he realized quickly what a poor choice of words it was. Jaime stayed quiet and just held her while gently stroking her back. 

“I thought this was what I needed,” she finally said with a sniff, still clinging to him. “I thought if we came here, made love all night and then woke up together - like I should have done last time - that I could finally let go of the guilt - but I just wasn’t prepared for - “ She sniffed again. “For how hard it would be to be in this room again. The memories - they’re so beautiful, but everything is tainted because all I can feel is that ache and emptiness I felt when I left you behind.” 

She finally pulled back and looked at him. Jaime brushed the tears off her cheeks with the back of his hand. “This isn’t us anymore,” he said gently. “We’re not those people anymore. We can’t change what happened, but we can put it behind us - and we don’t need to relive that night to do it.” He looked her straight in the eye and spoke slowly. “I forgive you Brienne. You can let go of your guilt because I forgive you. Just let it go,” he whispered. Jaime leaned in and kissed her forehead. 

He expected her to protest and he was ready to counter her again when she did, but her response surprised him. “Thank you,” she said genuinely. There was a brightness in her eyes that had been missing all night. He hadn’t even noticed the lack of her usual sparkle until it returned and he saw what he’d been missing. “So now what?” she said with a slightly nervous laugh, as she looked around the room. 

Jaime had been thinking about how the night would end earlier, before they’d come to the hotel, when he assumed they were heading home. “Now we drive back to your place, I walk you to the door, step inside for privacy and kiss you goodnight. Then I go home with the biggest smile I’ve ever had on my face after a first date.” 

“You’re not going to stay over?” she asked in surprise. 

“What kind of man do you think I am?” He gasped, acting like a pearl clutching old woman. “I don’t sleep with women on the first date.” Brienne rolled her eyes, but she was smiling at him. 

“Well it better be a really good kiss then,” she teased. “Come on, let’s go home.” Jaime started to follow her towards the door, then stopped. “What’s wrong?” she asked. 

“There’s one more thing I need to do,” he said, reaching for his wallet. He dug around and pulled out her letter. Brienne gasped in shock, clearly unable to believe that he still had it. He walked over and set it down exactly where he’d found it that morning. If they were starting over he didn’t need any reminders of the past and it just seemed fitting to leave the letter right where she’d put it, as if he could rewind time and never have picked it up to begin with. “There, now we can go,” he said, reaching for her hand as they walked out of the room and closed the door on their past for the final time. He’d always believed he would keep that letter forever, but the freedom he felt finally letting go of it was incredible. No more looking back - only forward.


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This might be one of my favorite chapters yet for this story. I hope you all enjoy 😘

On the drive back to Brienne’s they discussed Honor and the best visitation schedule. They came up with a plan to start, but both agreed to be flexible, particularly with both of their work schedules being a bit unpredictable. Brienne often had open houses or showings late in the day and Jaime said once they actually started construction on the ski resort he would have a lot more meetings and work much longer days. 

When they got to the house Jaime shut off the car and got out. He came around to open her door. “People are going to think we were on a date,” she joked, as she took his hand and let him help her out. 

“Deny, deny, deny,” he replied, smiling at her. His grasp on her hand lingered for a moment, but finally he let go and then followed her to the door. 

Brienne unlocked it, trying to hide the fact that her hand was shaking slightly. It was ridiculous that she was even the tiniest bit nervous, because he’d already made it clear he wasn’t staying for anything more than a kiss. Part of her wanted to entice him - see how hard she would have to work to change his mind, but she was pretty confident she could seduce him if she tried and she did think it was sweet that he wanted to do things a little slower, maybe a little more normal than anything they’d done thus far. 

When they got inside she heard the door click behind her, which wasn’t surprising. Obviously he wasn’t going to kiss her goodnight where anyone could see them. Brienne took off her jacket, hung it up and slowly turned, meeting his eye as Jaime stepped closer. “You sure you don’t want to stay?” She asked, unable to stop herself from giving it a try. 

“It’s not that I don’t want to,” he said, moving even closer. His fingers trailed lightly up her arm. “Don’t you ever think I don’t want to,” he whispered, leaning in so his breath tickled her ear. “You’re all I want, all the time.” She felt her heart skip a beat and then start to pound wildly. “Can we try something?” he added. She managed a nod. Jaime grazed her cheek with his and Brienne sighed. She loved the feel of his stubble on her skin. “I want to pretend this is our very first kiss, that tonight was really our first date.” Technically it was, she thought, but she knew what he meant. 

His voice was so sexy as he huskily whispered, his lips still close to her ear. One of his hands had moved to her hip and pulled her closer, while the other grazed her neck, throat and collarbone, sending tingles absolutely everywhere. “Close your eyes,” he said. Brienne closed them and it immediately heightened her senses. She could feel his presence and it was making it really hard to breathe, but in a good way - a very good way. “I want you to anticipate it,” he said. She felt his finger touch her bottom lip and her entire body trembled. “Feel those butterflies in your tummy - be nervous, a little scared even.” 

“Are you scared?” She asked, feeling a bit dizzy from holding her breath, then speaking. 

“Terrified,” Jaime replied. She felt his lips brush her neck and she sighed again. “I want it to be perfect. I want it to be a kiss you’ll never forget. I want you to think about me tonight - and tomorrow - and the next day - “ In between each statement he kissed his way softly down her jaw. “When I ask you to go out again - I want you to say yes - eagerly. I want you to want me,” he finished. She could feel the tip of his nose touching hers and now both hands were on her neck. How could he possibly worry that she wouldn’t do and feel all of those things? Then she remembered that they were pretending it was their first date - their first kiss - and he was giving her a glimpse inside his mind, sharing some of his insecurities. Even if they seemed ridiculous to her - he felt them, and it was really sweet that he was admitting those feelings. 

Brienne could feel the heat from his body and she could smell the fresh, masculine scent of his soap. She wanted to open her eyes and look at his handsome face and the pretty color of his eyes, but it was actually really nice to feel everything first, and it was also very exciting to lose most of her ability to predict what would happen next. It wasn’t safe, which actually was quite scary for her, but she trusted him completely. 

After a peaceful moment of simply sharing the same air, breathing together, she nuzzled him back and spoke softly. “I had a really good time tonight. I hope we can do it again soon.” It sounded silly - of course they would do it again soon, but she was playing along with his plan and she could tell he appreciated it. 

“Me too,” he whispered. His thumb grazed her throat, up and down. Her pulse was beating rapidly under his hand - he had to be able to feel it. Even with her eyes closed she could actually feel his lips moving closer. She had no idea she would be able to anticipate the kiss, but she could sense it was coming and she held her breath once again - waiting, resisting the urge to grab his shirt and pull him to her mouth. 

His lips touched hers with the lightest feather of a kiss, that made her tremble once again. “It’s so sexy when you do that,” Jaime whispered, leaning in so their foreheads were touching. 

“You just make me feel so good,” she breathed, wanting him to know that it’s all because of him. 

“I can do even better,” he said, moving to her mouth again. The first kiss started as another light graze, but each time after pulling back he came in with a little more pressure until they were kissing wildly, frantically, panting and gasping for air, but neither wanting to part and end the moment. 

Their tongues brushed, over and over. Brienne felt like she was free falling, spiraling out of control and shockingly - she loved it. She was a control freak, yet allowing herself to just fall with him was exhilarating. 

Brienne reached around his waist, pulling him closer, desperate to feel his body pressing into hers. As their groins pressed together she could feel how hard he was and it made her face flush with heat. She once again considered making a move, but she stopped herself because the tenderness of ending the night with just a kiss was so damn romantic. I also would leave her excited for more in a very special way, even though they had been together before. 

She didn’t want it to end, ever, but when it did she didn’t feel the level of disappointment she’d expected because he ended the kiss just as tenderly as he began it. It made the whole thing come full circle and it just felt so right. 

“Night,” he said softly, while tracing the shape of her face with the tips of his fingers. Brienne let her eyes flutter open and when she saw the way he was looking at her waves of euphoria rolled through her entire body. It wasn’t the sexy, lusty desire she was used to between them. He was looking at her like she was something he cherished, like she was special and beautiful. 

“Night,” she whispered back. When he didn’t move she bushed a wisp of hair off of his forehead. It was obvious he didn’t want to go by the way he continued to linger. Or maybe he didn’t want to stop touching her. His fingers continued to explore her face, lips, jaw, neck - leaving tingles in their wake. 

“For real this time,” Jaime said with a smile. “Night.” He leaned in and kissed her one more time, a soft, but lingering kiss - then he finally turned and left, with one more smile over his shoulder. 

When the door clicked shut behind him Brienne went over and locked it. She surprisingly didn’t feel alone or even lonely in the empty house. She felt giddy and light, like she was floating, and quite satisfied. 

When she woke the next morning she climbed out of bed with a smile on her face. It was early, much earlier than she needed to be up on her day off, but she was used to being up at the crack of dawn. Brienne threw on a robe and then headed down to the kitchen. There was something she needed to do. 

She set to work baking right away. She opted to make a cheesecake instead of a pie or tradition cake. Everyone loves cheesecake, right? She thought. It was also one of her best recipes and anytime she took it to a dinner party people raved about it. 

While the cake was baking she fixed herself some breakfast and then she went to get dressed and shower while it was cooling. Once it was cool enough she added the caramel and toffee crumble topping and it was ready. 

Brienne was feeling a bit nervous on the drive, but she knew she owed an apology to Ros for the way she’d behaved and no matter how anxious she felt it had to be done. Brienne pulled into the drive and walked up to the front door with the cake in hand. She took a deep breath and knocked. 

A few minutes later the door swung open and Ros was standing there in jeans and a hoodie. She wasn’t used to seeing her dressed so casually, but it actually relaxed her a little. “Hi,” Brienne started.

“Morning,” Ros replied with a smile and a curious look. 

“I owe you a huge apology for the way I acted last night and the things I said. I was way off base - Jaime filled me in after you left and I feel like a complete and total ass.” Brienne held out the cheesecake. “I’m so sorry Ros. I baked this cheesecake this morning to show how deeply regretful I am.” 

Her face softened and her smile grew as she took the peace offering. “You didn’t have to do that, but I really appreciate it. I’m having Bronn over for dinner tonight and I can cook, but desserts aren’t my strong suit, so this is actually perfect.” Brienne could tell that Ros was truly grateful and it dawned on her that she likely wasn’t used to anyone making an effort to apologize to her. 

“It was the least I could do,” Brienne replied with a nod. 

“Hey, uh, would you like to come in? I can make a pot of coffee,” she offered. 

Her gut instinct was to say yes, but her heart stopped her. Brienne shook her head and explained. “I know we don’t know each other well, but those who do know me understand that loyalty is my strongest trait.” She could see the understanding already in Ros’ face. “Catelyn Stark is like family to me,” she continued. “So if you someday find a way to make things right between the two of you, I would be more than happy to come over for a coffee.” She wanted to at least let Ros know it wasn’t anything between the two of them, and only her fierce loyalty to Cat. 

“I’m not sure that would ever be possible, but it’s my own fault,” Ros nodded, taking full ownership for her mistake which Brienne appreciated. “But our kids are dating and it seems pretty serious so you never know,” she added with a shrug and a little smile. 

“Your boy, he’s wonderful. You did a great job raising him,” Brienne offered. It was the truth. Gendry was a really good kid. 

“He is. Thank you,” she replied. “I could say the same for you - Honor is really special. You and Jaime must be so proud.” 

It threw Brienne off guard a little because she wasn’t aware that Ros knew the truth. Perhaps Jaime had told her the night before or maybe word was spreading quickly like it often does in a small town. Then Brienne suddenly realized that she was an idiot and it had been her that told Ros the night before. It didn’t really matter though, that part wasn’t a secret. “We are very proud, thank you.” 

“Well, I hope everything works out for you and Jaime,” she added. 

“What do you mean?” Brienne said hesitantly. 

Ros looked surprised by the question. “Oh, I assumed the two of you are dating.” 

“Did he tell you that?” She asked. 

“No he didn’t,” Ros shook her head. “I just assume by the way you reacted last night and of course the way he looks at you -“ Her voice trailed off. “Look, it’s none of my business - but if the two of you aren’t together - he wants to be with you. I have some experience in recognizing when a man is interested.” Brienne tried desperately to hide the smile but she failed. “Ohhhh so you are,” Ros said with a little squeal. 

It was so strange to be sharing this moment with her of all people, but Brienne hadn’t been in love with anyone but Renly and it was nice to experience that giddiness that came with sharing the news. “We’re trying to keep it quiet for now because Honor doesn’t know. We want to, you know, make sure it’s all going to - work out, I guess, before we say anything.” 

“I understand,” Ros replied. “I have a pretty good feeling that you’ll be telling her sooner rather than later.” She reached out and touched Brienne’s arm. “Thank you for this. I don’t get moments like this very often.” 

“Like I said, it’s the least I could do and again, I’m truly sorry for the way I acted,” Brienne apologized again. “Enjoy your dinner with Bronn tonight - I hope you both enjoy the dessert.” 

They said goodbye and Brienne went back to the car feeling much better about everything, though there was a tinge of guilt for not having coffee with Ros but she knew the guilt would be far worse if she had of. She backed out of the drive and started towards home. Brienne glanced at the clock. She didn’t have to pick Honor up for another couple of hours. 

She tapped the wheel in thought. Jaime had mentioned that the crew was breaking ground on his new home and he was going to head over to the property to “watch” for a bit - which she figured meant that he would be barking orders and trying to control the whole process. Brienne made a u-turn and headed for the property, trying to convince herself that she was doing it to save the poor crew from Jaime’s wrath and had nothing to do with the fact that she just really wanted an excuse to see him - because it hadn’t even been 12 hours since they parted and that would have been ridiculous - right? Still, she couldn’t ignore the butterflies in her tummy as she got closer and the way her heart longed to see his face. I could get used to this feeling, she thought happily. 

She let her mind wander to the kiss the night before and how absolutely perfect it was. He’d said he wanted her to remember the kiss and to think about him - mission accomplished. Brienne was too lost in thought to see the buck mule deer on the side of the road. If she had been paying attention she might have been able to stop in time. She knew the area was bad for deer running across the road. But her mind was on other things, good things, amazing things - so when the deer ran in front of her car all she could do was jerk the wheel, slam on the breaks and listen to the sound of squealing tires and shattering glass.


	27. Chapter 27

When Jaime pulled up to the scene and saw the damage to Brienne’s car he felt sick to his stomach. The huge deer she had hit was lying dead on the side of the road and her car was very likely a write off. His anxiety eased some when he saw, and heard, Brienne arguing with the paramedics. 

“Please ma’am, just let us take you to the hospital for a quick check up,” the young man said to her, looking quite concerned. 

“I’m fine,” Brienne insisted. “You patched up the cut on my head, nothing is broken - the air bags did their job. I need to get home and deal with insurance and call my work and find a rental car -“ 

“Brienne,” Jaime interrupted, as he approached. “I think he’s right. You should go get checked.” 

“Not you too,” she groaned. She looked over at him and instead of getting mad she pleaded with her eyes and words. “Please, I just want to go home. Will you take me home?” He could see how desperate and frustrated she was. “Please Jaime?” She added in a soft, timid voice that pulled at his heart strings. 

“Okay,” he agreed. He didn’t miss the look of disapproval on the medic’s face. “But if you show any signs of dizziness or a headache or start to get sore anywhere we’re going to the hospital, deal?” 

She nodded. “Deal.” 

“Keep a close eye on her,” the paramedic said. “She really shouldn’t be alone for a while.” Jaime promised he would and led Brienne to his car, as they watched her destroyed car being loaded onto a flatbed. 

“Are you really okay?” Jaime asked, when they were alone. 

“Yes, I’m fine. Just angry and annoyed. I loved that car,” she sighed. “Oh shit, what time is it? We have to pick Honor up on the way home.”

“Tyrion is bringing her home. They’ll meet us there,” Jaime explained. “I didn’t know if you were going to be going to the hospital so he was just going to stay at your place until I could come get her or you came home.” 

“Oh that’s so kind of him,” Brienne said, looking a bit unfocused. Jaime hoped it was just the stress and shock of the situation but he made a mental note to keep an eye on it. 

“Well he is her favorite uncle,” Jaime joked. 

Brienne smiled. “Were you bossing everyone around at the worksite?” She asked. “I was on my way to see you.” 

Jaime groaned. “I don’t know how they get a thing done without me there.” 

She rolled her eyes as he started to drive away. “You’re such a control freak.”

“And you’re not?” He countered. 

“We’re not talking about me,” she replied. He could see the smirk on her face out of the corner of his eye and it eased his nerves. They made light and easy conversation they whole way home and she certainly seemed like herself. 

“Mom,” Honor came running out of the house yelling as soon as they pulled in the drive. Jaime could see the terror on her face and it broke his heart. But the second she realized Brienne was okay and they hugged that fear all over her fact was replaced by relief.

“She okay?” Tyrion asked softly as they watched Brienne and Honor walk into the house with their arms around one another. 

“She refused to go to the hospital, against medical advice. Says she’s fine. But the paramedic said she shouldn’t be alone, so I’m going to stay and make sure,” Jaime said. 

“How convenient,” Tyrion teased. Jaime looked down at him and couldn’t help but smile. “It is official yet or what?” 

“Unofficially official,” Jaime replied, feeling his heart start to beat a little faster just talking about the fact that him and Brienne were a couple. “We haven’t told Honor yet. Brienne isn’t quite ready but I really think it will be soon. Things are going really well.” 

“I’m so excited for you,” Tyrion said with absolute sincerity. “You deserve this. To be in love, to have a family, to be happy.” 

“Thanks,” Jaime said with a giddy grin. 

“I’ll let you get inside,” Tyrion said, patting his forearm. “Call if you need anything.” 

“I might need some things from the office, but I’ll let you know,” Jaime replied, waving goodbye to Tyrion before heading into the house. 

“I need to make some calls,” he heard Brienne say.

“Not until you go to your room and have a rest first,” Jaime interrupted. “Honor, can you grab a glass of water and meet us upstairs in your mom’s room please?” 

“Jaime, I told you -“ she started, but he was already leading her towards the stair. “Oh fine, one hour and then I’ve got work to do.” Jaime helped her up the stairs and into bed. Then he leaned in and kissed her softly on the lips. Brienne actually kissed him back before pulling away and giving him a look. 

“I know, I know,” he laughed, leaning in to give her one more quick kiss. Just as he pulled back Honor came into the room. “Thank you,” he said, taking the glass from her. He set it down on the nightstand. “Now rest,” he said sternly. 

“Just yell if you need anything,” Honor said, coming over to give her mom a quick hug. 

Jaime could see Brienne’s eyes were already closing as they left the room. Halfway down the stairs his phone buzzed with a text. He pulled it out and read it. “Shit,” he muttered under his breath. 

“What’s wrong?” Honor asked.

“There’s a big argument at the building site,” Jaime replied. 

“Go,” Honor said. “She’s tucked in bed. We’ll be fine until you get back.” 

“I shouldn’t,” he said hesitantly. 

“It’s fine,” Honor insisted. 

“I won’t be any longer than half an hour, promise,” Jaime said. “Make sure you check on her in 15 minutes and I’ll check in again when I get back.” 

He hesitated a little longer and finally took a deep breath and left. Honor was responsible. They would be fine for a few minutes. 

Jaime got to the site and dealt with the ridiculous argument. He considered firing the excavator, but he really didn’t have time right then to try to find a new one so he mediated the situation, got them working again and got back in the car to head back to Brienne’s. 

He’d only gone a block when his phone rang. It was Brienne’s home number. He pressed the button on the steering wheel to answer it. “Honor? What’s wrong?” 

“She - fell. Oh - my G - God. She fell. D - down, the - stairs.” Honor’s words were coming out between gasps and sobs. “I tried to catch her. My wrist r-really hurts.”

Jaime felt his stomach roll over. “Hang up and call 9-1-1 immediately. I’ll be there as quickly as I can.” He was already hitting the gas, going way too fast through a subdivision. “Fuck,” he screamed, feeing tears sting his eyes. He drove like a madman, pulling himself together as he got close to the house. He needed to be strong for Brienne and for Honor. 

The ambulance made it there before him so he parked on the street and raced into the house. “Brienne,” he gasped, heading straight for where she was laying on the floor at the bottom of the stairs. There was blood dripping down the side of her head from a cut on her forehead and she didn’t appear to be conscious. 

“Sir, sir, give us some space. Let us take care of her,” one of the medics said. He didn’t even clue in at first that it was the same fucking paramedics from the crash site. The woman who had told him that Brienne shouldn’t be alone was now leaning over her, checking her vitals. 

“Dad,” Honor cried out. He turned and saw his baby girl with tears streaming down her face. He rushed over to her and wrapped his arms around her. “I can’t lose her,” she gasped. “I can’t.” 

“That’s not going to happen,” Jaime assured her. He hugged her a little tighter. 

“Ouch,” Honor said, pulling back to grab her wrist. 

“Let me see,” He said, taking hold of her wrist very gently. It didn’t take a doctor to see that it was broken, from the way it was sitting. “We need to get you to the hospital too,” he said calmly. He actually wasn’t sure how the kid was still on her feet. It had to be pure adrenaline and shock. 

Jaime glanced over at where Brienne was and then back at Honor. He had never felt more torn in his life. He wanted to look after his child and make sure she was safe. He wanted to take away her pain and her fear. But Brienne was still unconscious and he desperately needed to be by her side too. 

“Sweetheart, I’m going to drive you to the hospital and call Uncle Tyrion to stay with you while I go check on your mom,” He said gently. 

“No,” she shook her head. “I want to go with you, I need to make sure she’s okay. What if she dies Jaime? Like my dad.” He noticed she had called him by his name, referring to Renly as her father, but he tried not to read too much into it in the craziness of the moment. 

“Honor, I think your wrist is broken. You need an X-ray and a doctor to set the bone.” Voices distracted him and Jaime turned to listen. 

One of the medics was sending the other to get a stretcher while radioing to the hospital. “Unresponsive female on the way. Head trauma from a fall and possible earlier trauma from a MVC.” She waves Jaime over. “Can you help us get her onto the stretcher?” She asked.

“Of course,” he replied. Looking down at Brienne. Her face was pale and her eyes were closed. They had covered the wound but he could see it was already bleeding through the dressing and would need stitches. 

“What happened?” The paramedic asked, giving him a cold look that he knew he absolutely deserved. 

Honor answered from behind. “I thought she was in bed, but then I heard her coming down the stairs so I rushed out here. She said something about a headache and the next thing I knew she was falling.” The tears streamed harder and Jaime felt his heart breaking. “I got in the way, I tried to catch her, but she landed on me and still hit her head. My arm twisted weird,” she sniffed. 

“That’s definitely broken,” the paramedic whispered to Jaime. He nodded gravely. “You did amazing sweetheart. She would have hurt herself much worse if you didn’t do what you did,” the medic said, smiling at Honor. “We’re going to get your mom to the hospital and the doctors will take really good care of her, but as soon as we get her on the stretcher I need you to go with your - dad -“ she looked at Jaime for confirmation and he nodded. “You need that wrist taken care of right away.” 

The other paramedic returned with the stretcher and the three of them loaded Brienne onto it. Jaime quickly pecked her forehead while he had a chance. “It’s going to be okay Brienne. I’ll be there with you soon,” he said softly. I love you, he thought, catching himself before he said it out loud. 

Jaime and Honor followed the stretcher out the front door and waited until the ambulance drove away before they got into his car and followed. He could hear Honor softly sniffing and he reached over to take her hand. She quickly snatched it away and Jaime glanced over in surprise. “This is your fault,” she said coldly. “You shouldn’t have left her.” 

Instead of owning up to it immediately like he should have Jaime’s instinct was to argue. “But you told me to go. You said it would be fine.” 

“You shouldn’t have listened to me,” Honor cried passionately. “I’m just a kid, you’re the adult, you shouldn’t have listened. You should have stayed.” 

Guilt washed over him like he’d just leapt into a pool of it. She was absolutely right. This kid was far more mature than him, but she was still a kid and he should have been the responsible one. “Yes, you’re right. This is my fault,” Jaime replied, fighting off the urge to throw up. “It’s all my fault.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pleaseeeeeeee don’t hate me!! At least I finally updated 😂😂


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cliffhanger over, well sort of 😂

Jaime was a complete basket case when he got to the hospital, but thankfully Tyrion was there waiting. “Ouch,” he said, when he looked at Honor’s wrist. “Can I be the first to sign your cast?” That actually got a little smile out of her, which Jaime was thankful for. He knew Honor was pissed at him and he also knew that Tyrion would take really good care of her while he went to find Brienne. 

“Text me as soon as you know anything,” Jaime said to Tyrion. Then he turned to Honor. “I’ll let Uncle Tyrion know what’s going on with your mom and he can bring you to me as soon as you’re done here.” He could tell that she was feeling really torn and that eased his mind a little. She was struggling to stay mad at him, even if he did deserve it, which made him believe they would work things out sooner rather than later. He leaned over and kissed the top of her head. “Love you Kiddo,” he said, giving her a quick and careful hug. 

“I need to know she’s okay,” was all Honor said in response. Jaime nodded. He understood because that’s exactly what he needed as well. 

He turned to Tyrion again. “I don’t know if she has coverage so just pay and we’ll sort it out.” Jaime could literally feel his body shaking with anxiety and adrenaline. There were so many thoughts running through his mind but he could barely focus. 

“Just go, I’ve got this,” Tyrion replied. “Jaime, it’s going to be fine. Take a deep breath, focus, and go find her.” 

Jaime did exactly that. He regained his composure and headed to the information desk in the emergency department to find out where Brienne was. Thankfully the hospital wasn’t busy at all and by the time the clerk returned with Brienne’s whereabouts they were already calling Honor back. “She’s in the Critical Care Unit. Are you family?” The woman asked. 

Jaime stammered, “Uh no - yes, kind of.” 

“She’s my mom,” Honor said, stopping on the way by. “And this is my dad - so yeah, he’s family.” She gave Jaime a look that made him feel like an idiot, but once again it was deserved. 

He turned back to the woman and flashed a smile. “Follow me sir,” she replied. 

“Thanks,” he whispered to Honor before following after the woman. 

She led him down several hallways and then took him through a door that needed her badge swiped to get through. She stopped at a desk. “This gentleman is with the head trauma that was just brought in,” she said to a male nurse. 

“They have taken her to do a head CT,” the nurse said to Jaime. “I can show you to her room and you can wait there.” Jaime thanked the man and followed him to a small room with a window that looked out towards the mountains. It would have been a beautiful view if he had any notion to enjoy it. 

The seconds and minutes crept by. Jaime stood, sat, paced, and restrained himself from his urges to punch the wall or throw something. Brienne still wasn’t back yet when he got a text from Tyrion confirming the broken wrist they all knew Honor had. He sent a picture of the x-ray and it made Jaime’s stomach turn. The following text explained that the break was clean and the doctor didn’t think she would need surgery. They were waiting for the on call orthopedic doctor to come and set it, then she would need a cast put on and she would be free to go. 

Jaime quickly texted back that he didn’t have an update on Brienne yet, but hopefully soon. Soon turned out to be another 15 minutes that felt like a century. Finally she was wheeled into the room and two nurses started hooking her up to all kinds of guides and wires and tubes. “She’s not conscious yet?” Jaime said, trying to stay back so he wasn’t in the way, but really wanting to get right in there and touch her. 

“She was in and out for a while,” one of the nurses explained. “But the doctor has put Propofol in her IV. It’s a sedative that will keep her in a calm, relaxed state while her brain has a chance to heal.” 

“Wait, so she’s been put in an induced coma? Is that what you’re saying?” Jaime asked, his head spinning. The nurse nodded her head. “Why? Is she okay? Is there damage? How bad is it? How long?” 

The questions kept coming out of his mouth until she interrupted him. “Sir, I’m sorry. I really can’t say anymore. But the doctor will be in soon and he will answer all of your questions.” 

“Please,” Jaime begged as they finished up with Brienne and started to leave. “I need to know if she’s going to be okay.” 

The other nurse laid a hand on his arm and patted it gently. “This is hard, I know, but we really can’t tell you anything until the doctor looks at her CT scan. It won’t be long, promise.” 

As soon as they were gone he rushed to Brienne’s side. She had wires coming from everywhere and they had changed her into a hospital gown. The side of her face was bruised and it went right up to her hairline. She had an IV in her hand, oxygen tubes up her nose, and there was a catheter bag hanging from the side of the bed. The heart monitor was moving steadily and he could see that her heart was strong and her blood pressure was in what he knew was a normal range. She looked like she was asleep, so peaceful if it wasn’t for all of the machines she was hooked up to. 

Jaime touched her face, the side that wasn’t bruised. Some silly part of him thought that he would stroke her cheek and she would smile and stir, but of course, nothing changed. “I’m so sorry I left,” he whispered, leaning down to kiss her forehead. “This is all my fault.” The guilt was eating him up, gnawing at him from the inside. “I wish I could do something. I would take your place if I could,” he whispered. He desperately wanted to hear her voice, or see her eyes open up and look at him. He wanted to hold her in his arms and feel her hug him back. “I love you, so much,” he said softly as he picked up her hand and held it. Her skin was warm and her hand was as soft as he remembered. He couldn’t stop looking at her face. Even with the nasty bruise she looked so gorgeous lying there quietly. Her perfect cheekbones, those lips he loved to kiss, her long graceful neck. “You’re so beautiful,” he sighed. Jaime brought the chair closer and sat down, still holding her hand. He stared. He couldn’t take his eyes off of her. He was so sure he would miss her moving if he did. 

“Hello, I’m Dr. Cole,” a voice said, cutting through the silence of the room. 

Jaime stood and offered a hand. “Jaime Lannister,” he replied. 

“And how do you know the patient?” He asked. 

“Oh, uh we um, we share a child, uh - I mean, our daughter - Honor. She’s my - um -” Jaime cut himself off as he remembered that their relationship was supposed to be a secret. But with everything that had happened he couldn’t keep that promise any longer. “I’m her boyfriend,” he said. “We’re together.” 

The doctor nodded. “Well, as you know Brienne suffered not one, but two serious head traumas today,” he started. The guilt was back and Jaime had to take a breath to calm himself. “The good news is that all her functions are normal and I don’t see any serious damage that concerns me on her head CT.” Relief flooded Jaime, even though he suspected there was a bad news portion to come. “We did see significant swelling though, which I expected we would and which is why I gave her the sedative to put her into a coma.” Jaime nodded, listening intently. “I don’t want to try to wake her until the swelling has gone down because the comatose state reduces function and will help her brain to heal quicker.” 

“How long will it take?” Jaime asked. 

“It’s hard to predict. We will repeat the scans in a couple of days and see how she’s progressing, and then a couple days after that if the swelling hasn’t come down,” Dr. Cole said. “It could be anywhere from a few days to a couple of weeks.” 

And there it was, the bad news. “A couple weeks,” Jaime muttered. 

“We want to give her the best chance for recovery,” he explained. “And that can take some time.” 

“I understand,” Jaime said with a nod. “Is there anything I can do?” 

“Unfortunately there isn’t much,” Dr. Coke said. “But you can certainly talk to her. Let her know you’re here. Play music, or sing if you like. It’s very likely that she can sense what’s going on around her even though she won’t be able to respond. Coma patients often struggle with remembering what was and wasn’t real when they wake up and some have horrible nightmares too. So the more good memories you can give her might help with that.” 

“Thank you,” Jaime said, grateful that he at least knew what was going on now and what to expect. “When she does wake up how long will her recovery take?” 

“Again, it’s really hard to say because each patient is so vastly different. Some wake up with headaches and mild confusion that passes quickly, while others may have a period of partial amnesia and extreme anxiety that takes much longer and often therapy to get past.” Jaime swallowed at the lump in his throat listening to the potentially grim news. All preventable if he had just stayed by her side like he should have. He was ignoring the fact that perhaps the car accident injury was worse than she thought because obviously something caused her to fall. 

“Nurses will be in to check on her again soon,” the doctor said. “If you think of any more questions just let them know and they can find me.” He shook Jaime’s hand and gave him a little nod of encouragement, then left. 

Jaime sat back down and pulled out his phone. He sent Tyrion a text with the news and Tyrion replied back instantly that they were almost finished and he would bring Honor soon. There was a lonely feeling in the room that he couldn’t ignore and he hoped that Honor would arrive soon to help fill the room with her big personality. He knew Brienne was still in there but it was just so quiet other than the machines. 

He considered playing some music but he felt like a fool because didn’t even know what she listened to. He opened Spotify anyway and selected a random pop playlist and turned the volume to a nice level. He looked at Brienne again and forced a smile. She couldn’t see him, but she might be able to sense his mood and he wanted to make sure it was a positive one in case she could. 

Jaime tapped his fingers and looked around the room and then picked up Brienne’s hand again. He felt better when he was touching her. He thought about Honor and decided that’s what he would talk to Brienne about. “Sometimes when I look at her I still can’t believe she’s mine,” he said, smiling wistfully. “She has so much of you in her, but she’s got a lot of me in there too. We really created a masterpiece together.” He paused and took a deep breath. “She’s really mad at me right now,” he continued. “She blames me for what happened to you - but I blame myself too, so I understand. I just hope that she can forgive me because things were so good between us - between all of us. I want that again,” he said softly. “But I want more than that too. I want us to be a family. I want to live together. I want to wake up and see your face every single day. I want to sit at the dinner table and listen to Honor tell us both about her day. I want it all.” He felt his eyes well up with tears. “I know you’re scared, but we can do this. I just need you to get better so they can wake you up and I can tell you all of this again.” 

Jaime wiped away the tear that rolled down his cheek and looked at the clock. He figured Honor would have been there already and wondered what was taking so long? There was an aching feeling in his heart and he needed her there with him. He was quite certain that she was the only thing that could help take away his pain, other than Brienne waking up. He knew it wasn’t right to put that kind of responsibility on a child, which was why he would keep those thoughts and feelings to himself, but he couldn’t keep himself from feeling that way. He was quickly learning what the bond between a parent and child felt like and it was something pretty damn special. 

Less than 5 minutes later Jaime got his answer as to what was taking Honor so long when there was a knock at the door. “Excuse me, Mr. Lannister?” a woman said, stepping into the room. 

“Yes, can I help you?” he asked. 

“I’m here to speak with you about Honor Baratheon. I’m from social services.” She didn’t have to say any more than that before it felt like his world came crashing down on him for the third time that day. “She told us that you’re her father, but we have no documentation to prove that. Given her mother’s condition and inability to care for her at this time we had no choice but to call the legal guardian that was put in place for Honor in case of circumstances such as this.” 

“No,” Jaime said, standing up. “Please. I’m her father. She needs me. I need her. You can’t give her to someone else.” 

“I’m so sorry, but until we can gather proof I can’t release her to you,” the woman said. “We can do a DNA test and get it sent away, but it could take anywhere from a couple of days to a week. So in the meantime, she’ll have to stay with her guardian.” 

“I’ll call my lawyer and get the test done myself,” Jaime snapped. “You’ll have your results in 48 hours.” She nodded. He knew she was only doing her job but he needed someone to be angry at and she was the easy target. “I want to see her. She should be here - with her mother. I know she’s worried sick.” 

“Once the legal guardian arrives they can make sure she gets in to see her mother,” the woman replied calmly. 

“Who is the guardian?” he asked. He was confident that Brienne would have picked a kind and loving person to look after her daughter, but he hoped that he at least knew this person. 

“I’m afraid I’m not at liberty to divulge that information,” she said, giving him an apologetic look. “I’m sure you’ll find out soon though,” she added softly. 

“You can leave now,” Jaime said coldly, still lashing out at the poor woman who couldn’t help the situation they found themselves in. Once again he was flooded with guilt. He should have done the paternity test anyway. They should have done everything legally right from the start. They would have, eventually, but he should have pressed. They never should have waited. Jaime sighed and picked up his cell phone, then dialed his lawyer.


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here’s one that’s a little less angsty for you this time 😂😜

Jaime had just hung up the phone after speaking with his lawyer when Honor came running into the room. His heart was pounding when their eyes met. He watched her glance over at her mom and then she came straight into his arms. “I’m sorry,” she sniffed, hugging him tightly. 

“It’s okay. Everything is fine,” Jaime assured her as he hugged her right back and closed his eyes. This was exactly what he’d been needing - it felt like a glimmer of hope. 

When he opened his eyes he saw Catelyn Stark standing in the doorway. “You’re the guardian?” he asked. She nodded. “Oh thank God,” he sighed. “I was worried it might be someone I didn’t know, or someone who lived out of town.” Jaime had been wondering if maybe Loras was named guardian. He wasn’t opposed to that of course, Loras seemed like a nice guy who Honor clearly loved spending time with, but he didn’t live as close as Jaime would have liked. He felt great relief knowing it was Catelyn though. 

“I want to stay here,” Honor piped up. “With you.” 

Jaime and Catelyn exchanged a look. “You know I would like nothing more than to have you here with me,” he said gently. “And I promise that I’m working as hard as I can to make that happen. But Catelyn is your legal guardian right now so you have to stay with her until I get it sorted out.”

“But you’re my dad,” Honor said, her eyes welling up. Jaime knew she was a smart kid and she very likely understood what was going on if she put her emotions aside. “And I don’t want to leave mom.” He noticed that she had only looked in Brienne’s direction that one time since she arrived. 

“We can stay a while,” Cat said. “In fact, I’m going to go to the cafeteria and get you both something to eat.” 

“Thank you,” Jaime replied, as his stomach growled. He hadn’t felt the hunger until she mentioned food. Catelyn left and the two of them were alone with Brienne. “You can talk to her,” he said gently. “I’m sure she would love to hear your voice.” 

“When is she going to wake up?” Honor asked, glancing over her shoulder at her mom. 

“The doctor put her to sleep to help her brain rest and he will wake her up as soon as he thinks it’s healed enough,” Jaime explained. “But he doesn’t know how long that will be.” He watched Honor’s face fall at the news. “Hey, can I sign your cast?” he asked, lifting her arm gently into his hand. 

She shook her head. “If you don’t mind waiting, I really want my mom to be the first to sign it.” 

He nodded and smiled at her. “I think that’s a great idea.” He saw her turn and glance at Brienne again. “Come on, let’s go talk to her,” he said, slipping an arm around her shoulder. He urged Honor over to the bed. “You have a visitor,” he said to Brienne, lifting her hand into his and then passing it to Honor. 

She took her mom’s hand and leaned on the side rail of the bed. “Hi mom, it’s me. My wrist is broken and I have a really cool cast. It’s pink - I know, I know, not your favorite color, but there weren’t many color options. Anyway, I’m not letting anyone sign it until you wake up. I want you to be the first.” It only took her saying those first few sentences before Honor was babbling about one random thing after another. 

Cat returned 15 minutes later with food for them. “Hey, how did you get in here anyway?” he asked. “They said family only.” 

“The hospital board owes me a favor or two so I called one in,” she explained. “They didn’t have much to choose from so I got you both toasted bagels with cream cheese. I hope that will do for now. Or I can run out and get some good food.” 

“Can I have Wendy’s?” Honor asked. 

“What if we stop there on the way home and we pick up dinner for everyone?” Cat asked. 

“My dad too?” Honor replied. 

Jaime and Cat shared a look again. “I’m going to stay right here with your mom,” he said. “You’ll stay with the Starks until your mom wakes up or we get the DNA test results back. Someone should be coming by any time now to take the swab.” 

“You’re going to sleep here?” Honor asked. Jaime nodded. Her next question completely threw him for a loop. “You love her don’t you?” 

“I’m just going to slip out into the hall for a while,” Cat said quickly. 

Jaime watched her leave and then turned to Honor. “Of course I do,” he replied, trying to play it cool. “We’re family.” 

“Not like that,” she shook her head. “You love, love her - like kissy sex kind of love.” 

“Kissy sex kind of love,” he muttered, rubbing his face with a hand. Was this conversation really happening? Right now? Without Brienne awake to help him? 

Honor rolled her eyes. “I know how babies are made. I know what sex is. So you at least did it once before if I’m here.” Jaime took a deep breath, a bit scared of what might come next. “So? Are you having sex with my mom? Do you love her? Are you going to have another baby with her?” 

“Those are three pretty big questions Kiddo,” Jaime sighed. “And I don’t think it’s fair for me to answer any of them without your mom here too. It’s something we should talk about as a family. Does that make sense?” 

“I guess,” she shrugged. “But I already know the answer to one of them.” He took a deep breath hoping it wasn’t the first one. “You love her. I can tell by the way you look at her and the way she looks at you. Just like how Johnny looks at Miguel’s mom on Cobra Kai.” 

Jaime couldn’t help but laugh at how him and Brienne had just been compared to characters on a Karate show. “Eat your bagel Hon,” he said, giving her a quick hug. “I promise when your mom is feeling better we’ll revisit this conversation, okay?” 

She nodded and started to eat. Not long after they finished eating there was a knock and a man came in to take the cheek swabs. “We’ll get these to the lab and get your results as soon as possible Mr. Lannister.” 

Jaime thanked him and the man left. Moments after that the nurses came in to check on Brienne again and once they left Catelyn returned. “Is it okay if we go now?” she asked Honor. “I can bring you back first thing in the morning.” 

“Yeah, I guess that’s okay,” Honor replied. She walked over and gave Brienne a kiss on the cheek. “I love you mom,” she whispered. “I’ll be back in the morning.” 

“Call me if you need anything,” Jaime said to Catelyn as he hugged Honor goodbye. “You too, okay? I’m right here if you need me.” 

“We’ll be okay dad,” she replied, giving him an extra hug. It was as if she somehow knew that he needed it. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” Jaime watched the two of them leave and while he didn’t want Honor to go, at least he knew she would be safe and happy with Catelyn for the time being. He didn’t know the woman well but he knew she was a really good friend to Brienne, a well respected business owner, and that Honor liked her and got along well with the Stark kids. 

Time flew by when Honor was with him, but with her gone now the seconds were creeping by. He just wished he could fast forward until it was time for Brienne to wake up. He needed to see those blue eyes and her smile. He needed to hear her voice and know for sure that she was going to be okay. He resumed his spot at her bedside but before he could pick up her hand again, his phone rang. 

It was Tyrion. “Hey,” Jaime answered. 

“Hi. Just checking in to see how things are going? Did you get the custody situation sorted out?” Tyrion asked.

Jaime sighed. “Yes and no. She’s with Catelyn Stark until I get the results of a DNA test back or Brienne wakes up and can give me guardianship,” he explained. “They were here not too long ago to take swabs.” 

“Jaime,” Tyrion said hesitantly. “What if the DNA test doesn’t go the way you think it will?” he asked. 

“What do you mean?” Jaime was tired and frustrated and it came out as a snarl. “Sorry,” he added. 

“I’m just saying - you need to prepare yourself just in case,” Tyrion said gently. 

“No, there’s no point. She’s mine,” Jaime said confidently. “She looks like me and I feel a connection to her. I’m her father. I know it in my heart. This test is just a formality.” 

“I just don’t want to see you get hurt, or her,” Tyrion replied. 

Jaime rubbed his face again. “What are you saying? That I shouldn’t have the test done? We would have had to do it eventually anyway.” 

“No, it’s - nevermind. I shouldn’t have said anything. You’re right - she looks a lot like you. And she has the Lannister spirit in her too,” he added. 

“But what if you’re right?” Jaime moaned. Tyrion had planted the seed of doubt and it was growing. “What if she’s not mine? I love her already. I can’t just shut that off.” All of a sudden he was spiralling. 

“Stop,” Tyrion interrupted. “This is my fault. I really never should have brought it up. You’re tired. It’s been a long, emotional day. Shae made that stew you love for dinner so I’m going to bring some to you and you’re going to forget what I said and trust your heart.” 

“Thank you,” Jaime mumbled. They said goodbye and he hung up the phone. He looked up and groaned. “Please give me a sign. Something. Anything,” he said out loud. His phone buzzed with a text and Jaime looked down and smiled. He had his sign. It was a text from Honor: _I love you dad._ He quickly replied then shoved his phone back in his pocket and he knew for sure that everything was going to be just fine.


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I made you guys wait so long for this one. Hope you enjoy! 😘❤️

The two days that Brienne was in an induced coma were the longest two days of Jaime’s life. Time passed quicker when Honor was there with him. They would play cards and talk, and she would tell Brienne about things like the weather or what she did at Catelyn’s place. But when Cat would come and get her and Honor would have to leave the room got really quiet and lonely. He would give anything to hear Brienne’s voice or hear her laugh and see her smile over something he said. 

When Honor was with him he also forgot about the DNA test results and his worries that they might not show what he believed and hoped to be true. Part of him had been angry at Tyrion for even bringing it up, but he knew in his heart that his little brother was only trying to protect him. Tyrion knew if it turned out that Honor wasn’t Jaime’s that it would be a devastating blow and he thought it might soften that blow if Jaime was slightly prepared. After Honor left he always found himself worrying for a little while, until he convinced himself one more time that Brienne wouldn’t lie about that and everything was going to be just fine. 

Two days after Brienne was brought into the hospital she had a second CT scan. The doctor arrived about an hour after she returned from the scan with amazing news. “The swelling has come down completely. Her brain is healing quickly and I think we can proceed with bringing her out of the induced coma.” Jaime felt intense relief, but also a little fear. It was time to find out if there would be any damage from the two head injuries. He had done way too much googling and had a long list of potential problems she could face - everything from paralysis to amnesia to speech problems or chronic headaches. “She’s doing incredibly well,” the doctor continued. “I’m feeling really optimistic about her progress.” 

“So how will this work?” Jaime asked. “Will it take a long time?” 

The doctor chuckled. “I’m sure you’re sick of this answer but - I can’t give you a decent estimate because it’s different for everyone. She might be fully alert in as little as 12 hours, but sometimes it can actually take days before they are wide awake.” Jaime sighed softly. “If it makes you feel any better - with everything I have seen so far I don’t think it will be too long. We’ll take her off the meds right away and before you know it she’ll open those big blue eyes.” 

“Thanks Doc,” Jaime replied. He appreciated the honesty. The doctor was a straight shooter, but he also had a really calming and professional bedside manner. 

A nurse came in right away and stopped the IV drip of Propofol, leaving her on saline only. “Now we wait,” she said to Jaime with a smile. “It’ll likely be a while and we’ll be checking on her regularly, but if you notice anything at all don’t hesitate to call us.” 

He thanked her and immediately texted Honor with the good news. As soon as she read the text his phone rang. “Is she awake? Can I come see her?” Jaime explained what the doctor told him. “Well I want to be there when she wakes up.” 

“I know kiddo, but we honestly have no idea when that will be. Why don’t you go to school and be with your friends, keep your mind off things and I promise if she opens her eyes even for a second I’ll text you and have Cat bring you here. How does that sound?” Jaime offered. The court appointed guardianship was a pain in the ass, otherwise he would have just kept Honor with him the whole time. 

“I guess, but you have to promise you’ll call, even if her eyes are only open for a millisecond,” Honor warned. 

“I swear it,” Jaime replied. “I want your face to be the very first thing she sees.” 

“Thanks Dad. Okay I guess I better go get ready. It’s ridiculous trying to get in the bathroom with all these people,” she muttered. 

“Good luck,” he chuckled. “Talk soon.” After he hung up Jaime started to pace nervously. He was going through the list in his mind wondering which awful condition she would have when she woke up. Whatever it is, we’ll get through it, he told himself, trying to get out of his doom and gloom outlook and think positively. 

Jaime walked over to the chair he kept at her bedside and took a seat. “Hey beautiful,” he said softly. “I can’t wait to talk to you. I can’t wait to look into your eyes and tell you how much I love you.” He picked up her hand and stroked it tenderly. “You just need to wake up and show everyone just how tough and badass you are.” He smiled. “The doctor is happy with your progress. Even in a damn coma you’re impressing people.” He lifted her hand and kissed it. He’d done it a million times because touching her skin to his lips gave him a feeling of such comfort. “And somehow I’m falling more in love with you every second of every day.” 

He stood up and leaned over to kiss her softly on the lips. Jaime didn’t expect some fairy tale Sleeping Beauty moment, so it was no surprise when she didn’t move at all, but he figured it was still worth a shot. 

Jaime sunk back into the chair and literally stared at Brienne for a solid 90 minutes, watching for any slight twitch or eye flutter, but nothing. The nurse was in to check her vitals and said everything looked good. Once she left Jaime continued staring for a while. 

Just before lunch time he finally gave up for a moment and pulled out his phone. There was something else he needed to check. He went to the website for the company doing the paternity test and logged into his account. He had checked about a hundred times and he was used to seeing the same screen come up telling him the results weren’t in yet but this time the screen that appeared looked different. It now said ‘click here for results.’

With a shaky finger Jaime tapped the screen and his eyes scanned the results. “Yes,” he cried out. His voice echoed through the room but he didn’t care. “She mine,” Jaime said looking over at Brienne. “You knew all along, but now we have proof. She’s ours. That perfect, sweet, smart, beautiful child - she’s ours.” He was so overcome with emotion there were tears rolling down his cheeks. He was exhausted and stressed and filled with anxiety over Brienne, but this news was the beacon of hope he needed. 

Jaime made a quick call to his lawyer and then sent over the results. He promised to have the custody situation sorted out with protective services by the time Honor was done school. Jaime thanked him and then made a quick phone call to Catelyn. It went to voicemail so he left a message filling her in with the good news about Honor. 

Part of him really wanted to surprise Honor and go pick her up at school, but he just couldn’t risk Brienne waking up with no one in the room - and he knew Honor would understand. Tyrion stopped by with lunch so he was able to celebrate with his brother at least. Tyrion had been bringing or sending over every meal for him, as well as making sure work on his home was going smoothly and things were settling in place to start on the ski resort soon. 

At 3pm in the afternoon it finally happened - he saw her eyes open for the briefest second and then close again. Jaime hit the call button for the nurse and immediately called Catelyn. “Are you able to go pick up Honor and bring her to the hospital right away?” he asked. 

“I got your message. Congratulations - I’m really happy for you. And of course. I just have to sign a couple papers for one of my agents and I’ll head right over to the school,” Cat replied. “Is everything okay with Brienne?” 

Jaime realized that he hadn’t told her about Brienne coming out of the come when he called earlier, so he filled her in. “I promised Honor I would get her here if there were any signs of her waking up but I don’t want to leave in case she actually does wake,” he explained. 

“I understand. I’ll have her there in 20 minutes or less, I promise.” They hung up and Jaime went back to his bedside vigil. It took exactly 17 minutes for Honor to arrive and in that time Brienne had opened her eyes twice more and the doctor came in to check her over. He was still there when Honor arrived. 

“Is she okay?” Honor asked, looking concerned. 

The doctor waved Honor to the bedside and smiled at her. “Watch this,” he said. “Brienne,” he called out loudly, as he shook her shoulder. “There’s someone here to see you.” Jaime watched as Brienne responded to the voice and the shaking and opened her eyes. It was only for a second, like all the other times, but she was actually responding to stimuli. “She’s going to be in and out for sometime,” he explained to Honor. “But the fact that she’s responding to voices and to me touching her - that’s a wonderful sign.” 

“So she’s going to wake up soon? I’ll be able to talk to her?” Honor asked, her eyes filled with excitement. 

The doctor nodded. “You can talk to her right now if you like. But promise me you’ll do me a favor okay?” He paused and Honor bobbed her head yes. “If she talks or keeps her eyes open for more than 30 seconds I want you to call me. Can you do that?” 

“I sure can,” she replied eagerly. When the doctor left Honor came over and hugged him. “I’m so happy,” she sighed. Jaime slipped an arm over her shoulder and hugged her back. “I should talk to her, what should I tell her about?” 

“Well, you could tell her our good news,” Jaime said cryptically. 

“What good news?” she asked.

“I got the DNA test results back and we know now that I’m definitely your dad - so you’ll be able to stay with me until your mom gets better and can come home,” he said, smiling at her. 

Honor turned and threw her arms around him. “This is the best day ever.” Jaime hugged her against his chest and tried unsuccessfully to hold back the tears of joy. It meant so much to him that she was that excited about the news. He swiped away the tears that rolled down his cheeks quickly before she could see that he was crying but she still noticed. “It’s okay to cry dad.” She stood up on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek. “I love you,” she added. 

“I love you too,” he got out, before the tears got even worse. He wasn’t a cryer, but lately it was happening all the time. At least they were good tears. 

“Mom, guess what?” Honor said, turning to talk to Brienne. Jaime settled in and listened to her babble. He was feeling more happy and content than he had in days and it was wonderful. 

It took another 4 hours but just after they’d eaten supper Brienne finally woke again and spoke. Well, it was more of a groan, but enough to call in the doctor. He checked her over and did more tests, then let them know that things were progressing perfectly. Once she was fully alert they would check her verbal response and memory, but that might still take some time - likely the next morning. 

It was only another hour when she woke again and this time she kept her eyes open and finally she smiled. “Hi,” Brienne whispered. 

“Mom,” Honor squealed, rushing to her side to hug her. 

“Hey,” Jaime replied softly. 

Brienne sighed. “I am so sorry.” 

“Sorry for what?” he asked. “You have nothing to be sorry about.” 

“For killing the deer. I tried to miss it but I couldn’t,” Brienne said, sighing again. Jaime and Honor shared a look. “Oh my God,” Brienne continued. “What happened to your arm? Wait, were you in the car with me?” She looked confused. “No, I don’t think you were. I remember hitting the deer and the ambulance came - and - that’s all - “ Brienne furrowed her brow. “But you weren’t there, so how?” Her eyes searched Jaime’s for answers. 

“I fell and just landed weird,” Honor blurted out, looking at Jaime. He could tell she was wondering if it was okay to lie so he gave her a little nod. “I’ll be fine. A couple months in the cast and I’ll be good as new.” 

“Oh okay honey,” Brienne said, her eyes drooping closed. “I’m just so ti -” Before she could finish the words she was sleeping again. 

“Go tell the nurse we need the doctor,” Jaime said calmly. Honor nodded and left. He looked down at Brienne and then raised his eyes up - “Please let her be okay,” he prayed.


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well this one ended up really fluffy 😂 But I figured it was time. Poor Brienne has been through enough. ☺️

“The missing memories are a common side effect of head trauma,” the doctor explained to Jaime and Honor. He had just spent almost an hour examining Brienne and going through a series of memory tests as well as checking her motor skills. The nurses and physio were still with her, getting her up to try a short walk. “But I’m not overly concerned. They may return, or they may be gone for good, but from what I can tell it only seems to be the short period of time between the car accident and the fall that she’s missing.” He looked right at Honor as he finished. “I think Brienne has made incredible progress and I expect she will continue to do so. I wouldn’t be at all surprised if she’s out of here in a couple more days.” 

“So do we continue to lie to her?” Honor asked. The doctor looked confused so she held up her cast. 

“Oh,” he nodded. “I think your mom is a pretty tough cookie. She’s obviously going to be upset that you got hurt trying to help her, but she’s also going to be very proud of you too and grateful I’m sure.” 

“So we should tell her right away?” Jaime asked. 

“See how things go,” the doctor suggested. “She’s been pretty busy the past couple of hours and after she’s done physio she might be really tired. There’s always tomorrow morning.” He touched Honor’s shoulder. “Go see how she’s doing,” he suggested. “I bet it will be amazing to see your mom up and moving.” 

Once Honor left Jaime spoke. “Okay you can give it to me straight now.” 

The doctor laughed. “I did already, I swear.” He held up his hands with a smile. “She’s doing remarkably well and I really do expect a full recovery. You might have a challenge on your hands trying to keep her slowed down for a while, especially when she walks out of here feeling like she’s back to normal. But other than that - everything should be just fine.” 

Jaime thanked him and headed back into Brienne’s room. They were just getting her back into bed when he arrived and he watched her climb in and lay back. She was moving quite slowly and needed some help getting her legs in, but he could tell already that her progress was incredible. 

“I want some chocolate,” Brienne announced once the nurses left. “And a shower. It was nice to brush my damn teeth but I want a nice hot shower,” she sighed. 

“The nurses said you could have a sponge bath tonight,” Honor said cheerfully.

“I don’t want a sponge bath,” she snapped. “I want a shower.”

“You know what?” Jaime reached into his wallet and took out a few dollar bills. “Let’s start with chocolate.” He handed the money to Honor. “There’s a vending machine down at the end of the other hallway. Can you go grab your mom a candy bar please?” 

“And one for me?” She asked hopefully. Jaime nodded and she took off. 

He slowly walked over to Brienne. “A sponge bath isn’t so bad,” he said softly. “I could help you,” he offered. 

“Unless you’re going to get in too and make love to me, I still want a shower,” she replied with a pout. 

“I wish,” he sighed. “But you’re supposed to take things slow. No vigorous activity for a while.” 

“It doesn’t have to be vigorous. Nice and slow and gentle would be fine,” she said, giving him an innocent look. 

“But we just had our first date,” he protested, stepping up to her bedside. “We were going to take that part slow too.” 

“That was all your idea,” she said with a scowl. 

“You’re really sexy when you’re grumpy,” Jaime replied as he leaned in close to her lips. “And I’ve been waiting forever for you to wake up so I can do this.” He softly brushed her lips and then drew back for a moment before moving back in to kiss her again. Their tongues met and he could taste the mint from the toothpaste she had just used. It felt so good to kiss her again and to feel her kissing him back. His heart finally felt like it was beating steady and true for the first time in days. 

“I knew it.” Jaime pulled back at the sound of Honor’s voice. 

“Oh fuck,” he muttered, looking at Brienne. “Busted,” he whispered. 

“I knew you two were in love, the kissy sex kind of love,” she said excitedly. 

“Honor,” Brienne hissed. “Oh my god,” she moaned. “Kissy sex? What the -“ 

“So you’re dating? And sleeping together? Is dad moving in?” Honor was on a roll. 

“Woah kiddo,” Jaime jumped in. “Your mom is pretty tired,” he started. “How about we just discuss this in a few days when she’s home.” 

“I’m actually wide awake right now,” Brienne said, shocking him. “Might as well get this over with.” She crossed her arms and smirked at him. “So? Are we dating? Sleeping together? Are you moving in?” 

“Uhhhh,” Jaime gaped. “Yes, yes, maybe?” He looked at Brienne and then at Honor. “Is that, uh, is that what you want? What you both want? I mean we’ve only been on one real date.” 

Honor rolled her eyes. “Um hello,” she waved. “Remember me? You already have a kid together.” 

“She has a point,” Brienne echoed. 

Jaime felt like the room was spinning. Was this really happening? So fast? Wait, the head trauma. That had to be it. Brienne wasn’t thinking clearly. You want this, a voice in his mind pointed up. It was true. It didn’t matter to him that they had really only known each other a short time. The only thing he wanted in the entire world was to be together as a family with Brienne and their beautiful daughter. So why did he feel like he was about to completely freak out? 

“Is it what you want?” Brienne asked, interrupting his mental breakdown.

“Please dad,” Honor whispered, looking at him with her big beautiful eyes. 

“That is not fair,” he said, pointing at Honor’s puppy dog face. She giggled. “Of course it’s what I want,” he sighed. “It’s everything I want,” Jaime added, shifting his eyes to Brienne. “It’s just - are you sure? Really sure? And what about the house I’m building?” 

“Well duh, you live with us until it’s ready and then we move in with you,” Honor said, her tone indicating he was a total idiot for asking. 

Brienne’s eyes widened and Jaime realized the same butterflies he was feeling were hitting her too. The only one who was completely unfazed was Honor. It was all so simple to her and Jaime wished he could see it that way. “I think your mom needs some rest,” Jaime said softly, nodding at Brienne so she knew he understood that they needed time to talk about a few things. 

“Actually I am really tired,” Brienne agreed. “Who knew that walking to the bathroom brushing my teeth and walking back to bed could be so exhausting?” She barely got the sentence finished and she was already nodding off. In a weird way Jaime actually felt a bit better that she was tired and not just faking it to end the conversation. 

“Night mom,” Honor said, walking over to kiss her head. “So I was thinking,” she started, turning to Jaime. “I know you have custody now and I could go home with you, but I have a feeling you would rather stay here with mom. What if I stayed the next couple nights with Lyanna? She already checked with her parents and they are cool with it.” 

Jaime felt a sense of relief wash over him. He really did want to stay with Brienne but after the fight to get the DNA test back quickly and establish his rights as Honor’s father, he didn’t want to ask her to stay with someone else. But if she was suggesting it, that was a different story. “Are you sure?” he asked. 

“Yeah,” she nodded. “I know you’ll call if anything happens. And I would feel better knowing someone was with her. You know, someone who loves her,” Honor added giving him a smirk. 

“Fine, I guess I can stay,” he replied with a smile. “But on one condition - you have dinner out with me first, then I’ll take you home to get your things and drop you off.” 

“Deal - as long as I can have dessert. The expensive kind they keep in the display case when you walk in the door,” she countered. 

“You can have absolutely anything you want,” he said, grabbing his jacket. He walked over and kissed Brienne’s cheek. “I’ll be back soon,” he whispered. 

When Jaime did return almost 2 hours later Brienne was still sleeping. He stood there and looked at her and his heart fluttered. What am I doing? He thought. I lost her once all those years ago, and I could have lost her again in that accident. I don’t want to waste anymore time, he concluded. If she wanted to stay in her house he would finish building his and sell it. If she wanted to move to the polar ice caps of Antarctica he would pack immediately. All he knew is that she owned his damn heart and she had from the first second they met. 

Brienne woke when he set down the takeout on her little dinner table. “What smells so good?” She moaned. 

“I brought you some dinner. It might be a little better than the hospital food that I see you didn’t eat,” he replied eying the tray. 

“Well to be fair, I’ve been sleeping this whole time, but you’re right, I wasn’t eating that crap anyway. Give me,” she said eagerly, as she sat up and reached for the food. “Oh my God, thank you - I love you,” she gushed. 

“I love you too,” Jaime whispered. “I really, really love you.” She stopped eating and looked at him. “I’m sorry, keep eating, enjoy your dinner.” 

“You know I feel exactly the same way. You do right? You know that?” He didn’t like how nervous she sounded. 

“Of course I do,” he replied, taking a seat on the edge of the bed. 

“Okay, it’s just you seemed, I don’t know, unsure, when Honor - and I - were pressuring you about moving in,” she said softly. 

“And you didn’t seem to like the idea of moving into my place when it’s built,” he countered. 

“No, oh God no, it wasn’t that - I just, well, you were building a new home for yourself and then you found out about Honor so you were building it for the two of you - and now there’s me -“ she paused for a moment. “I just didn’t want you to feel like you were losing your space or whatever.” 

“You could never make me feel that way,” he replied, reaching out to touch her cheek. “Nothing would make me happier than having both of you living with me.” 

“So then why -“ her voice trailed off. 

“I was nervous,” he sighed. “What if you find things you don’t like about me when we move in together? What if I annoy you? I can’t lose you again.” 

“God we’re really a couple of complete idiots aren’t we?” She laughed, reaching out to stroke his cheek. 

Jaime laughed too. “I think our daughter is smarter than both of us put together.” Brienne nodded and grinned. “So what does this mean? Are we really doing this?” 

“I think we are,” she whispered. “I mean, if I ever get out of here.” 

He reached for her fork and scooped up a bite then held it out to her. “You need to eat and get your strength up if you want to get out of here.” She leaned in and took the bite off the fork. “And you need to quit looking so sexy when you chew because you’re going to kill me,” he groaned. She licked her lips slowly and he groaned again. “Okay eat up - it’s time for that sponge bath.”


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only one final chapter to go! This one is pretty long and I could have made it two chapters but I would like to get this fic finished up this week so I pushed through. 
> 
> It’s been a fun ride and I’m looking forward to wrapping it up with one last chapter. I think I might do it from Honor’s POV but I’ve only ever written from Jaime or Brienne’s so I’m not too sure yet. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

“Are you two going out tonight?” Honor asked, standing in the doorway to her mom’s room while Jaime sat on the bed waiting for Brienne to finish getting ready. 

Brienne popped her head out of the bathroom. “You said you’re going to Uncle Tyrion’s for a movie with Ty and Lyanna didn’t you?” Honor bobbed her head. “Okay so your dad and I are going out to a movie while you’re gone.”

“You’re going on a date,” Honor replied with a grin. Jaime decided to just stay quiet and watch the exchange between them. He’d been living with them for exactly two weeks and he was enjoying the mother daughter dynamic immensely. The familiarity and the way they could read each other was fascinating but it got really fun when they would butt heads because they were both ridiculously stubborn. 

“It’s not a date, we’re just going to see a movie,” Brienne groaned. 

“Why can’t you just call it a date? Dad’s your boyfriend now isn’t he? So when you go out together it’s a date,” Honor said, rolling her eyes. 

Brienne glared, holding a tube of lipstick in her hand. “Okay fine, we’re going on a date. Happy?” 

“Yes,” Honor said saucily. “And in that case I’m going to spend the night at Uncle Tyrion’s.” Brienne narrowed her eyes and Jaime wondered what she was getting at. “I don’t want to hear all the moaning and screaming and stuff going on when you two get freaky later.” 

Jaime bit his lip to keep from laughing at the mortified look on Brienne’s face. “Honor, oh my God.” 

There was a faint honking sound. Saved by the horn, Jaime thought. “Love you, byeeee,” Honor said, in a sing-song voice. She came over and gave them both a kiss on the cheek and then took off. 

“What the -“ Brienne looked at him, stunned. “When I was her age kids still played with dolls and lego. I’m scared to know how she’s developed these ideas about sex and dating already. She’s supposed to be my baby still.” 

“Phones, social media, TV,” he said. “They’re exposed to it all and they talk about it with their friends. But she’s smart too, and intuitive, and curious, which is both good and bad in this case,” Jaime chuckled. “I don’t think we need to worry about her doing anything stupid at least. She’s a good kid.” 

“I know, I really do,” Brienne sighed. “But there are kids her age that - god I can’t even say it.” 

Jaime walked over and put his hands on her shoulders. “She’s a good kid,” he repeated. “You raised her well and we’re going to keep raising her right - together.” He rubbed her arms gently. “Now finish getting ready so  
I can finally take you out and hold your hand in public.” 

“I’m not much of a hand holder,” she teased. 

“Well I am, so deal with it,” he shot back. She laughed and finished getting ready while he sat back on her bed and waited. 

He’d spent every night since he moved in sleeping in the guest room because he knew there was no way they could share a bed and keep their hands off of each other. It was still important to him that they do the dating thing, even if it was silly given their circumstances. But it was also important that he was sure Brienne was well enough before they engaged in any sort of physical activity. 

She had been doing really well from the day they got home, with relatively few symptoms from the trauma. She had a couple of headaches and a bit of blurry vision the first week, but nothing major. The only big thing that happened was the weekend before when she was walking down the steps with Jaime and it triggered her lost memories. She made the connection that she was to blame for Honor’s broken wrist and it was quite a traumatic realization. The three of them sat down and talked their way through it, but he knew there was no way to completely relieve the guilt Brienne was feeling. She was a mom and knowing she’d hurt Honor, even though it was an accident, would always bother her. But it did make her much more cautious on the steps and much more willing to take any help that was offered, so at least there was a small silver lining. 

Jaime looked around the room and realized that in a few hours it was highly likely they would be back in that very room with a lot less clothes on. It honestly felt like an eternity since they had made love, which was quite ironic since the time between their first night together and their second one actually was an eternity. He couldn’t believe how nervous he felt though. Even though they had only shared those two nights of intimacy Jaime knew in his heart that they had no trouble in that department. 

He’d been at this same place in his mind before and he knew there was nothing to worry about - he really did. But he couldn’t fully push away the seeds of doubt that crept in when he realized how much was riding on their relationship being successful. They were living together. They were raising a child together. It had to work because he had so much more to lose if it didn’t.

The first part of the night was pretty amazing. It felt good to finally be themselves in public. He held her hand, touched her back, opened doors for her and did all the chivalrous and romantic things he wanted. Brienne certainly didn’t seem to mind one bit. She was smiling, laughing and absolutely glowing. It was just a movie and a quick bite to eat, but it felt like so much more. It was a new beginning and the start of their future together and it felt incredible. 

There was also something else that happened over the course of the evening. The more time that passed, the more touching and flirting and longing gazes occurred between them. They both knew what was coming and there was a fire that was slowly growing, to the point that Jaime actually felt so physically hot by the time they started to drive home that he had to put down the window. 

The breeze was nice until the rain started and he had to put the window up. By the time they pulled into the drive it was an absolute downpour. “What is with you and rain?” Brienne asked. 

Jaime laughed. “I don’t know, but we’re going to have to make a run for it soon or I’m going to start taking off your clothes and make love to you in your - our -“ he corrected himself. “Driveway.” 

“We are both way too tall to make that work comfortably, so let’s go,” Brienne replied, throwing open the car door. Jaime was right behind her but suddenly she stopped right in the middle of the drive and looked up at the sky. He froze and watched her, her eyes closed, a huge smile on her face, letting the rain wash over her. 

“What are you doing?” He laughed. He had to talk loud to be heard over the sound of the driving rain. 

“If it wasn’t for the rain we might never have met,” she said, spinning in a slow circle. “I’m saying thank you and appreciating what brought us together.” 

Jaime walked over to her and caught her in his arms. She looked at him, her hair soaked and her makeup starting to smear, and he decided she was the most beautiful woman in the world. He grabbed her face and kissed her, and with the rain washing over them, drenching their clothes, she kissed him back. Jaime knew right then that he would never be annoyed by a rainy day for the rest of his life because rain would always be their thing - it would remind him of the first moment he laid eyes on his future and so many other moments since then. 

He pulled her closer and they spun around together, until he remembered that making her dizzy was probably not the best thing to do while she was still recovering. “Ready to go in?” he asked. “I think we should try that sponge bath again - your way this time.” When he’d helped her bathe at the hospital Brienne had tried everything to get him to join her in the tub, but Jaime resisted because he knew what it would lead to and she had just come out of a coma at the time. He couldn’t risk it. 

“My way is so much better,” Brienne replied, turning and running for the door. Jaime was hot on her heels and grabbed her for one more kiss before they went inside. He tangled his hands in her wet strands of hair and kissed her with every ounce of passion he was feeling. It was wild and frantic, and way too intense for a very public front step, but he honestly didn’t give a fuck. If they earned the reputation of the couple who lewdly make out where their neighbors can see - it would be a badge he would wear proudly. 

Jaime caught her bottom lip as he released her and nipped it gently. He could barely feel the chill in the air or how cold the rain really was. It wasn’t until they were inside, dripping on the doormat that he started to notice the cold. Brienne was shivering too by that time. “Come on, that warm tub is calling us.” 

They left a few layers of clothing in a puddle by the door with their shoes and socks, then made their way up to Brienne’s bathroom. Jaime followed her closely up the stairs and noticed she was gripping the railing so hard her knuckles were white. The memory of the fall had traumatized her more than she was willing to admit, but it had also made him very protective and cautious anytime she went up or down the steps. 

She seemed absolutely fine, but when they were safely to the top he still had to ask. “Are you feeling okay?” 

“Never better,” she replied with a smile. “Okay I’m fuking freezeing,” she added, her teeth chattering. “But I’m not dizzy, not nauseous, no headache - I’m good. Promise.” 

She led him into the bathroom and immediately started the tub running. Jaime tugged off his remaining clothes and Brienne did the same. She bent over to plug the tub drain and he admired the view with a groan. It was amazing how his nervousness completely disappeared when the intimacy started. It just felt right with her. Every little touch, every look, every sigh, kiss, caress, whisper - it was all so easy and comfortable. 

Jaime stepped into the ankle deep hot water and then held out a hand to help her step in. They slowly sank down facing one another and fit their legs together like puzzle pieces until they were both in a comfortable position. Brienne added some bubble bath to the water and before long they were surrounded by foam. Jaime rubbed her long leg and she sighed. “I told you my way was so much better, she said, leaning her head back against the end of the tub. She lifted a foot up out of the water and then set it down lightly on his chest. Jaime lifted it and kissed her toes before she tucked it back down into the suds and carefully explored another area. 

He jumped when her toes brushed his balls a little too hard. “Oh shit, I’m so sorry,” Brienne gasped, her cheeks flushing with embarrassment. 

“It’s fine,” Jaime said, catching her foot before she could pull it too far away. “Wouldn’t be good foreplay if I didn’t get sacked at least once,” he teased. He saw her smile gratefully and relax once again. “Are you nervous?” ha asked. “Because I was, all night, I was worried that I might screw this up and everything would come unravelled,” he admitted. 

Her smile widened and she laughed softly. “That sounds very familiar. I was actually thinking the same thing. But I’m not anymore. As soon as we kissed in the rain - I just knew everything was going to be perfect. Am I crazy?” 

Jaime shook his head. “Being a man, I didn’t relax until we were naked,” he chuckled. “But you’re not crazy at all. We’re good together. This is right. It just feels like this is where I’m supposed to be.” 

“Well you could have figured that out two weeks ago you know?” she drawled, giving him a look. 

“Forgive me if I didn’t want to risk further scrambling your brains right after you woke from a coma,” he jested back. 

Brienne shifted position and moved closer to him. She straddled his legs and put her arms around his neck. “You would have been gentle and delicate. You would have made sure I was safe and protected,” she whispered, looking at his lips. Jaime felt his cock stir under the water and shifted slightly as he ran his hand up her thigh. She moved closer to his mouth and he closed his eyes, waiting for the first tingles of her lips brushing his, but Brienne stopped before they touched and hovered there. He could feel her breath dancing on his skin, mixing with his own as they sucked in the same air and shared the same space. The anticipation had him raging with fire inside - not the longing for their union or the need to fuck her - he just desperately wanted the kiss. The rest would come, but what he yearned for was the simple, tender intimacy of her lips on his. 

It was her tongue that cut the tension first as she dragged it lightly along his bottom lip making his skin prickle everywhere with happy bumps of arousal. He resisted the urge to grab her and pull her mouth to his because he was more curious what she would do next. She wasn’t always this forward and didn’t often take the lead in such a precise manner so Jaime was very intrigued by this moment. She licked him again, this time right along the crease where his top and bottom lip met, and Jaime parted his lips slightly. When he did she nipped at his bottom lip gently at first and then a little harder before finally biting him with her teeth. It stung a bit, but in a very sexy and erotic way. The sting didn’t last long because she quickly soothed it by tenderly sucking the very spot she had just bit. 

In the few times they had been together Brienne seemingly wasn’t the type of woman who exuded confidence during intimacy, not like she did when she was working or being a parent or going about life in general, so this was a new and exciting experience. Jaime got the feeling that the more they were together the more comfortable and confident she would become, which was a very intriguing prospect. 

Jaime ran his hands down her back and cupped her ass, just as he squeezed it her lips finally connected with his in an intense and passionate kiss that quickly escalated to their tongues rolling and twisting over each other. Brienne gasped and put her hand on the wall behind his head, pressing her weight down onto his legs. He pulled her higher - he needed to feel her body touching his growing erection. The second her body bushed him he grew even harder. 

He pulled away from her mouth and dove for one of her nipples. As soon as he started to suck she arched her back, pressing herself down even harder against his legs. Brienne moaned loudly and he sucked a little harder, until she shoved him away and raised herself up, making direct eye contact. She shifted and he could feel the tip of his cock touching her pussy. Jaime reached under the water and held his shaft steady as she slowly sunk down, taking him inside her. Being sheathed by her body was somehow even hotter than the burning water they were submerged in and he closed his eyes again, with a smile of pleasure on his face. 

He felt Brienne running her fingers through his wet hair and he opened his eyes to look at her. Neither one of them were moving, they just sat there, united, staring into each other’s eyes. Finally Jaime spoke. “Shouldn’t we get one of the condoms from the new box that I put in your nightstand?” he asked. 

She looked amused. “What? You didn’t like the ones we used last time?” 

“I thought we could save those for special occasions,” he joked. 

Brienne leaned in and nuzzled his face with her soft cheek. “Can we just stay like this for a few minutes first?” she breathed into his ear. “I like the way it feels.” 

“Me too,” he murmured, trailing his fingertips lazily up and down her arms. Jaime had no idea how long they stayed that way, but with his cock buried deep inside her they touched each other, kissed tenderly and just enjoyed the intimacy, until the water started to cool a bit. 

She drew back and looked at him and then nodded, before lifting herself up and off of him. There was a sense of panic the second their union was broken, but it was followed by a desperation to reunite that made his entire body ache. He watched Brienne step out of the tub and then pulled the drain plug before he followed her. She picked up a towel and she slowly started to dry his entire body. It was sexy and sensual, and built his arousal like any other type of more traditional foreplay would have. By the time he was dry and picked up a towel to do the same for her his cock was throbbing. He forced himself to be slow and thorough just like she was for him until they were both dry, other than their damp hair. 

Brienne took his hand and led him to her bed. Jaime stopped at the nightstand and quickly put on a rubber before he joined her. Everything that followed was so easy and natural. She opened her legs for him and in a matter of seconds he was finally back inside her once again. But this time he moved, nice and slowly for as long as he possibly could. He kept the wild animal inside him at bay because she was right before - he would protect her - even from himself. There would come a day when he was convinced that she was fully healed and he would fuck her hard and fast and ravage every inch of her body, but it wasn’t time for that yet. 

The slow build, the looks and touches and soft sighs were every bit as sexy and erotic as a good hard fuck - maybe even more so. Jaime realized that perhaps it was a gift that he had to hold back because he was getting to experience something really unique and special. The level of intimacy and the plane on which they were connected was a place he’d never been before, even with her. It obviously wasn’t their first time, but it had that ‘first time’ feel because of how different and tremendously tender it was. 

Going so slow really gave him a chance to feel everything, from the way her pussy wrapped around his cock so perfectly, to the tickle of her panting breath on his skin and the way her body tensed before she came and released immediately afterwards. He could also feel her pussy throbbing and he stopped moving to really enjoy the way it pulsed on his cock. As the throbs slowed he started to move again and he focussed on the way his body reacted - the build, the burn and the ache he was feeling with each stroke. 

He was amazed he was able to hold on as long as he had with all the build up, how turned on he was, and how long it had been since they’d been intimate. But Jaime knew the exact moment he’d hit the point of no return and with one more deep push he felt his body tense and then release as his vision faded to black and he felt like he was falling - a happy, delirious free fall. 

Jaime rolled off of her and laid on his back, feeling so completely satisfied. He turned his head and looked at her. “I love you - so much,” he whispered. 

“I love you too,” she replied, rolling to kiss him softly. 

A buzzing sound interrupted the moment and Brienne rolled the other way to grab her phone. “Holy fuck kid,” she muttered. “11 missed texts from Honor,” she explained. She showed Jaime the screen and he laughed when he read the last one that said ‘Aren’t you guys done yet? How long does it take?’ “She needs one of us to take her phone charger over because apparently your brother’s house is ‘full of weirdos who don’t have Apple products’.” 

Jaime chuckled. “I’ll go, I need to talk to Tyrion about the house anyway. Or we could both go if you want?” He wasn’t sure if he was ready for her to be home alone yet. 

“I promise I won’t leave this bed,” she sighed. “I learned my lesson.” 

“Oh, so you’ll be right here? Still naked when I return?” Jaime asked, as he climbed out of bed and carefully disposed of the condom and then wiped himself with a tissue. 

“You better not be gone too long,” she warned. He watched her reply to Honor and then set her phone down. Jaime walked around to her side of the bed and bent to kiss her. “I would also like to point out that there was no loud moaning or screaming,” she said. 

“Not this time,” he replied with a smirk. 

Brienne smirked back, “Well that just proved we can be quiet.” 

“Does that mean I can sneak into your room during the night, even when Honor is sleeping across the hall?” He asked. 

Brienne nodded and bit her lip. “Or you could just move your things in here and skip the sneaking part,” she suggested, innocently blinking at him. “She already knows we’re having sex, what does it matter if we share a room?” 

“You make a good point,” Jaime agreed. He was more avoiding sharing a bedroom because he knew he couldn’t resist making love to her every damn night and every morning and any second they were alone while she was still recovering. But the thought of Honor being across the hall knowing they were sharing a bedroom had also crossed his mind. 

“So? We’re sharing a room now?” she asked, her eyes sparkling with happiness. 

“Only if we can get a mattress like the one in the guest room,” he teased. Brienne laughed and nodded. “Okay, I’ll be back soon,” he said softly. 

“I’ll be right here waiting for you,” she whispered back. “Always.” Jaime kissed her one more time and then left to get dressed and find Honor’s cell charger. As he drove to his brother’s he couldn’t believe how incredible his life was. The woman he’d dreamed about for so long and loved with his whole heart was waiting in bed for him to come back home - to their home, the house they shared - and she loved him right back. His favorite confidant, his brother lived a few minutes away. His daughter - his beautiful daughter was the greatest gift he’d ever received - and it made him so happy that she was best friends with his incredible nephew. He was doing a job he loved, and he owned a successful business that he’d built all on his own, without any help from his father. It hadn’t been easy to get where he was, but every ounce of pain, all the blood, sweat and tears had been worth it. Finally, he was exactly where he needed and wanted to be.


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow - it’s over!! It always feels so bittersweet to come to the end of a fic, especially one that was as close to my heart as this one. You guys have been incredible with your support and encouragement. Endings are often hard for me to write because I want the story to feel complete and give closure and I worry I don’t always accomplish that, but I hope this one is satisfying for you all. Thank you again, from the bottom of my heart for coming along on this journey with me 😘😘😘

Her parents had put Honor in charge of answering the door and directing everyone out to the pool and backyard area as they arrived. Some knew to just walk around the side, but others would ring the doorbell and she would guide them. 

They had got really lucky with the weather. Fall could go either way, but it had been a really warm one which meant the pool was still open and the housewarming event could be an outdoor BBQ. They had officially moved into the house two weeks earlier after the longest 6 months of waiting ever, but for the past month they had been stopping by with a few things here and there so by the time they actually moved in it really wasn’t that much work. 

The doorbell rang and she jogged off to answer it. “Hi,” she said with a bright smile, greeting the couple at the door. It was her dad’s friend Bronn and Gendry’s mom. She glanced over their shoulder and saw that Ned and Catelyn Stark were right behind them. She had always thought that Ros and Catelyn didn’t like each other, but they smiled and said hello so maybe she was wrong. Or maybe they were just being nice to each other because their kids were dating, Honor thought, trying not to scowl. She liked Arya a lot, but she was totally jealous that her and Gendry were a couple, especially when Arya was only like barely 2 years older than her. “Everyone is out back,” Honor announced. “I’ll show you guys the way.” 

The four of them followed her through the house and out the back, commenting on how incredible the architecture and design of the house was on the way through. Honor smiled because she knew her dad had designed every inch of the house, with a little help from her of course. It felt good to hear them compliment his work. She showed them where to set out the snacks they had brought and then started back inside. 

She paused by the patio door and took a look around her new, big, beautiful backyard. She saw her mom, coming over to welcome the new guests and then she saw her dad, watching her mom like he always did with that goofy smile on his face. Sometimes they were all kissy and touchy and it totally grossed her out, but other times she thought it was really sweet how much they loved each other. 

Honor couldn’t remember a time that her mom had looked so happy. She was glowing, all the time - which meant she was always in a good mood - which also meant that Honor could get away with far more these days than in the past. She knew not to push her luck though. Extra dessert, new expensive shoes and hoodies, cussing once in a while - that was about the extent of her ‘rebellious’ nature. What mattered the most to her was that her friends and family were happy. And she loved doing nice things for other people, helping out - it felt good to make someone else smile, even a complete stranger. 

The doorbell rang again and she took off. This time when she opened the door there was a tall, thin, older man standing there. He looked rather grumpy and she wondered at first if he was one of their new neighbors coming to complain about the noise. “Can I help you?” she asked politely. 

“You must be Honor,” he replied, the slightest hint of something that might have been a smile on his lips. “You look like him. Those eyes - wow.” 

Her eyes widened as she clued in. “Grandpa? You came,” she squealed, wrapping her arms around him. His body was stiff and rigid, but she felt his arms gently circle her back in his own version of a hug. “I really didn’t think you were going to come,” Honor added, looking up at him, then giving him a second hug. 

“Me neither,” Tywin muttered. Honor felt him touch her hair as they hugged and she smiled happily. “Is it safe to assume that your father has no idea I’m here?” He asked, as she pulled back. 

Honor shook her head. “I didn’t tell him, because I really didn’t think you would come.” 

“You know we don’t have a great relationship, right?” Tywin replied, looking down at her. “He might be angry that I’m here.” 

“I’ve got you,” she replied, patting his arm. “He’s kind of wrapped around my little finger, so when he finds out that I invited you it’ll be totally cool.” 

“And what about your Uncle Tyrion?” Tywin asked. “Does he know about the invitation?” 

Honor bobbed her head. “Yeah he does. He made me promise I wouldn’t invite the ice princess, uh, I mean - Aunt Cersei.” She saw the hint of a smile again and wondered if that was the extent of his amused facial expressions. 

“So this is a housewarming party, huh?” Tywin asked as they slowly started to stroll.

“Well yes, and there’s the baby announcement later - uh - shit - whoops,” she gasped, covering her mouth. “You can’t tell anyone I told you that. I mean you’ll find out soon, but I don’t want to ruin the gender reveal. It’s a boy,” she added with a whisper. “Whoops again,” she shrugged. Her parents would kill her if they found out she ruined the surprise, but she had a feeling her slip was safe. 

“My lips are sealed,” he said, looking around the living room they were passing through. “Your dad design this place?” 

“With my help, of course,” she replied. “There were a few things he needed to fix. Thankfully he had my expert eye to point them out.” 

Nope, she’d been wrong. He was capable of more because he was looking at her with a genuine smile this time. “I like you,” he chuckled. “You’ve definitely got Lannister blood in you.” 

“I’m not changing my name,” Honor announced. “I thought about it and I like Baratheon - and it doesn’t seem fair to my dead dad. Keeping the name honors his memory, ya know?” 

“I won’t hold that against you,” he said. “You’re still a Lannister, whether that’s your name or not.” As they got closer to the patio doors Tywin stopped. “Listen, I have a gift for your dad, but maybe I should just leave it with you and get going. I’m sure he’s having a great time and I don’t want to ruin that.” 

“No, you have to stay for a while. Please?” She begged, looking up at him with her best puppy dog eyes. Honor reached out and took his free hand. “Come on. Let’s go find my parents.” 

She led her grandpa outside and she spotted her dad at the BBQ. He looked up as they approached and Honor could see the ‘what the hell’ look appear on his face immediately. “Look who I invited,” Honor announced as the two of them approached. 

“You shouldn’t have,” Jaime mumbled with a sigh. He sucked in a breath and looked at Tywin. “Dad,” he said formally, extending a hand. 

“See, I told you it would be fine,” Honor whispered to Tywin. “He brought you a present,” she told her dad. 

Tywin reached over and gave Jaime a wrapped box. “I thought it was time you had this,” he said. 

Jaime put down the flipper and took the box. He looked surprised and opened it slowly. “But this is -” Jaime started. He looked up at Tywin. “Are - are you sure?” Honor tried to see what was in the box but Jaime had it tilted towards him. 

“That plaque has been in our family for generations. It’s always passed down to the eldest son - and like it or not, that’s still you,” Tywin explained. 

“What is it?” Honor interrupted. 

Jaime lowered the box and showed her. “It’s the Lannister family sigil,” he said, pointing at a really shiny golden lion on a scroll carved wooden plaque. Underneath the lion it said ‘Hear me roar.’ “Thank you,” Jaime said, looking at Tywin. Whatever issues they had in the past, it was clear that Jaime was touched by the gift. 

Tywin nodded. “And uh, if you don’t end up with a male heir to carry on the Lannister name maybe you will consider giving it to Ty one day.” He glanced down at Honor and she couldn’t hold back the smile. 

“You told him, didn’t you?” Jaime hissed. Honor gave her dad a sheepish look. “Your mom is going to kill you.” 

“Not if she doesn’t find out - and you don’t want her to be mad at your favorite child do you?” Honor said with a pouty face. Jaime rolled his eyes, but he slipped an arm around her and gave her a quick hug before going back to his burger flipping. 

“How about you go find you mom and send her over to meet Grandpa, okay?” Jaime suggested. Honor nodded and took off in search of her mom. She got momentarily sidetracked by Lyanna and Ty throwing her into the pool, but eventually she found her mom and made it back to the BBQ area. 

Shae had taken over the cooking by that point. “Do you know where my dad and grandpa are?” she asked. 

“Inside, with Tyrion - and a bottle of whisky,” Shae gave Brienne a look. “But the yelling has calmed down at least.” 

“Yelling?” Honor said. She immediately felt bad. She’d told her grandpa that she’d take care of him. “Come on Mom,” she huffed, stomping into the house. When the two of them arrived in the kitchen the three men were sitting around the table, each with a shot glass in front of them, and they were laughing. She was confused, but happy they were getting along. 

“Everything good in here?” Brienne asked hesitantly. 

“So good, so good,” Tyrion bellowed, pouring three more shots. “Just some quality father and sons bonding time.” Honor and Brienne watched the three of them down the alcohol. “Would you like some?” he asked. 

“Okay,” Honor replied, stepping up to the table. 

“Uh, no,” Brienne interrupted. “Maybe in another decade.” 

Jaime stood up and sauntered over to them and stood between her and her mom. He slipped an arm around both of them. Honor was pretty sure he was every bit as drunk as her Uncle Tyrion, but he wasn’t so loud about it. “Dad, I would like you to meet Brienne,” Jaime said, introducing them for the first time. “Brienne, this is my dad, the great - Tywin Lannister.” Honor could sense a little tension and sarcasm from her dad, but nothing she needed to deal with yet. 

Tywin stood up and came over for a hand shake. “My pleasure,” he said formally. He eyed Honor for a moment. “You have raised quite the amazing young woman,” he added, tossling Honor’s hair. 

Brienne smiled and glanced over at her. “I’ve been pretty lucky with that one.” Honor stayed quiet while the adults chatted for a moment, and a few minutes later Ty and Shae came into the kitchen too. “Food’s ready,” Shae announced. She took one look at Tyrion and rolled her eyes. “It’s going to be a long day,” she sighed. 

As everyone started to get up to head outside Honor slipped an arm around her mom and looked around the room at her family. “How did I get so lucky?” she asked Brienne. “I had one incredible father and then when I lost him I somehow got another amazing dad - and a new family too.” She lightly touched her mom’s belly. “And then there’s -”

“Shhhh,” Brienne hissed. Jaime came over and joined them again once the others had already headed outside. He hugged Brienne from behind and splayed his hands across her tummy. “Oh my God,” she groaned. “I can’t wait to tell everyone before one of you spills the beans.” Honor and Jaime looked at each other and grinned. He beckoned her closer and Honor hugged her mom from the front, so the three of them, and the baby on the way were in one big group hug. 

“I love you guys,” Honor whispered, closing her eyes. She felt her mom’s arms tighten and her dad kiss the top of her head. 

“Love you too,” they both replied in unison. 

“Sooooo, can we name him Riyaz?” Honor asked. She’d been begging since they told her Brienne was pregnant for them to name the new baby after her favorite TikTok star. 

“No,” they said in unison again. “Not a chance,” Jaime added. 

“We’re open to other suggestions though,” Brienne replied, giving Honor a kiss on the head. 

“How about Gendry?” She watched her parents look at each other and roll their eyes without saying a word. Then she watched them kiss - once - twice - and three times. “Oh my God, I’m out of here,” she groaned, wondering if the PDA would ever end. 

Honor walked outside and joined the lineup for food. All her favorite people were in one place and she was ridiculously happy. Her bestie Lyanna was still swimming as usual. Her grandfather was talking to Ty and they both had a smile on their face. Her parents were probably still making out in the kitchen. And someday soon she would have a new baby brother and she could tell him all about the incredible family he’d been born into. Part of her felt a little envious that little Riyaz Gendry Lannister would get to know his parents from the second he was born, but Honor knew she was even luckier because she had two dads who loved her more than anything - one who was with her now and the other who was watching over her from heaven - always. 

The End.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn’t going to do the baby thing, but I did a Twitter poll and the people wanted a baby lol. So for those of you who didn’t, just ignore that part and it won’t make any difference to the story 😂


End file.
